Part 2 of Heart to Heart Update

Hello Everyone! Sorry to be late with this post– So much has happened since my last post.  I had intended to release Part 2 last week but, after my performance on Oct. 6, I was unexpectedly exhausted–I slept 8 hours then I took a 6 hour nap the day after my show! I was shocked and woke up feeling like Rip Van Winkle lol! I continued to be tired on and off this week and was feeling brain fog and lots of emotional healing to do from having broken through another glass ceiling for myself. solophoto10-6-18 This show was my first 3 hour gig on a saturday night and my highest paying gig to boot!  It went even better than expected too because I had to play all the guitar by myself  for the entire 3 hour gig (I usually hire someone to play guitar with).  I prepared a set list that was 1/2 originals and 1/2 covers and all songs that I could play confidently and I practiced at least an hour a day to have the proper callouses by then.  It was a duo show accompanied by my friend who plays beautiful mandolin and bass (alternating depending on the needs of each song).  I made my best tips ever too that night so this gig was a success on many levels and as always that brings up more inner child pain to acknowledge and  release–having given up on my music for so many years.

I’m so grateful to realize I can do things I never dared to dream to be doing and yet now I am doing it!  It’s been indescribably surreal and emotional causing parts of me to want to go into hiding again to protect myself from feeling it and other parts of me are so excited to be at the next level and wanting more success!–the latter is the voice I am listening to!

Preparing for this big performance was also emotional and so 5 days prior to the show I had one of those days I couldn’t function well because of intense emotions brewing inside me.  Whenever this happens I always turn to pen and paper to write out my feelings in longhand to gain clarity–and on Oct 1 a long poem burst forth in poetic rhyming fashion just like my other poems on my healing writings page.  I’ve been writing songs and journaling consistently but I haven’t written a Poem in a year or 2! It is still in longhand at the present moment but I will be sharing it here on this blog after I get it typed up properly. I’m naming it “Emerging With Poetic News” so look for it in an upcoming post after this “heart to heart update series”.

Okay now so back to Part 2! I’ll just start in with this.  …In keeping with my explanation of my journey away from the blog since 2012:  I was feeling spread too thin to keep up with this blog, I was going to open mic nights to overcome my fear of singing in public, and I was making an album of my original songs which was a dream come true.  It was 2012 when this blog and my coaching business were at their peak but I couldn’t do both–my heart told me that focusing on the music was the right thing to do.  My health problems improved dramatically and I overcame my severe stagefright and made important musical connections in my city.  I performed my songs with my guitar for free at open mics but I still had a long way to go.

The album was released on iTunes in 2014. I still had never performed for money yet.  I had no income, just a dream and spiritual guidance from an intuitive counselor mentor that I trusted who helped me to see that my songs of hope and healing are helping others and they are a big part of my true purpose in this lifetime. This deeply resonated as I had accumulated 50 original songs by now that had poured out of me fairly easily in a creative process that I had developed which felt as if I channeled their creation from my higher self.  I knew that I must become the singer-songwriter that I longed to be in my heart and share my journey of hope, healing, and upliftment through my songs.

As soon as my album was self-published and released on iTunes, I had a surgery in fall 2014 to correct varicose veins that ended up setting me back on my health journey–sensitive to the high levels of epinephrine that was used in this outpatient procedure that spanned 4 weeks time, my adrenal fatigue came back with a vengeance. I stopped with the open mic nights too and focused on regaining my health.

Continuing to write songs,  I realized my house and it’s constant needs for updates and repairs were too much for me and my husband.  So we followed our hearts and intuitive guidance from my intuitive counselor that it was best that we move and leave the 18 year old house where we’d raised our 2 now grown children and find a place that I could focus on my music and have less maintenance to worry about.  For a sentimental sensitive person like myself this was quite a challenge–purging many things to make the move easier.

By fall of 2016 we found the perfect home in a different part of the city and, after a rollercoaster year of searching and decluttering, we were all moved into a wonderful new home that (magically 😇 ✨) met all of our needs. Long story short, it took until fall of 2017 for me to feel ready to start reaching out and looking for paid gigs to perform my original songs of hope and healing….

…To be continued in Part 3 coming in a couple weeks.

Sending all of you Peace and Love and Light from Above,

Roxanne 😇🎶💖✨

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