Category Archives: elainedsanders.com

I Was Lost But Now I’ve Found Me

Hello Everyone!  Happy New Year, Everyone! Happy New Decade! Yay 2020!!! I hope you are doing well.  I hope you find hope in my sharing my journey of feeling lost to feeling found. I understand, I care, and I found ways to heal that perhaps can help you too.

 

10 years ago today I started this blog!  It was a new beginning for me as the blog helped me to find my voice as a writer; as a coach, mentor, and spiritual counselor for other highly sensitive souls and empaths with childhood wounds; and just …as a person, a soul, a human being on the planet! I did not realize I had started my blog at the beginning of a decade! I did not realize until yesterday how serendipitous and special it is that I started my blog at the beginning of the previous Decade!  Wow exactly 10 years ago! I was 48 then and felt kind of old and yet unaccomplished and green.  I am 58 now and I feel younger than I did at 48 …and in fact younger and happier than when I was in my 30s!  2020 vision and clarity is ahead for us all–a new hopeful path is emerging before our very eyes! I invite you to get out your journal or think back to january 2010 and look at how far you have come.  Please share your healing journey in the comments below  or if you resonate with realizing you started some positive changes or awarenesses in your life in 2010.

 

one whole decade

 

I found my true soul’s purpose as a result of writing this blog and an ability to express myself that had long been hidden inside me. When I started I had no idea how importantly the work I did on this blog would impact my life. I remember thinking, if I could just help one other person with what I’ve learned on my journey then this blog would be a success. Such a valuable thing to learn I think because I had low expectations so when the blog gained momentum and had lots of engagement it gave me so much confidence! The success of beginning my career as a life coach on the blog lead me to following my intuition and trusting my own inner guidance at deeper and deeper levels.

I was helping others through sharing my journey through a pen name at first–using my middle name, I was known as Elaine back then. At the height of my coaching career, I then started writing more and more songs, going to open mic nights, met musician friends in my area, and overcame my terrifying fear of singing alone on stage in public. I started performing around Indianapolis and getting paid for it and made an album of original songs that is on all the Worldwide music platforms such as iTunes, Spotify, and Amazon.

While I deeply loved my blog, my coaching and my clients, my heart was torn in 2 directions. I realized I had to put all my songs under my legal name and until then they had been divided–half were songs about inner child healing under the name of Elaine. When I changed my name on the blog and stopped writing as regularly, the blog audience changed and grew as I changed and grew. Even when I didn’t write for a few years on this blog, the old posts continued to get readers and new followers and I continued to get emails from grateful sensitive souls who felt their childhood wounds had been “seen” and their inner feelings “voiced”.

My journey took a spiritual turn as the intuitive abilities helped me realize many of my songs and blog posts had been “channeled” by me–I realized I was co-creating with the help of my higher self. My soul’s purpose grew to include being an energy healer, and the training and certification I received as a Reiki Practitioner in 2012 was fitting beautifully with my channeling abilities, and I attracted opportunities for office space to do this Reiki work and Intuitive work in Indianapolis. Now, in addition, the music and the Reiki are fitting together as I learn about sound healing and things like Reiki-infused music and music-infused Reiki. It is so amazing to me how life unfolds in ways that amaze but we somehow get glimpses of what could be, yet we don’t know how we can get to our dreams and yet the dreams unfold into yet even better dreams and magical abilities.

We also all have so many unexpected hardships along the way and think we are off track sometimes, but I believe it is these very hardships and side roads that make us stronger–strong enough for the next thing that our higher self has planned for us! The last 2 years have been an upheaval for me, revealing unhealthy patterns in me that I couldn’t see without some shake-ups and re-formulating in some very close relationships.

But it all makes sense now–if you have painful childhood wounds you need to relearn how to bond with people with pure love at the core. I have even more self-compassion for my wounds, even more strength to observe them and release them and grow stronger with each layer of emotional pain from the past that presents itself.

The result is a really strong foundation at my core, an independence and confidence to stand on my own 2 feet, and empowerment that is not codependent on a partner or children, or a role, or achievement in life but in a power of being that is centered, grounded, and wise with knowing that I am worthy of having it all just by being. And that we are all worthy of having it all and I LOVE helping others to get to this same feeling of wholeness and vitality and creative expression.

Whew! What a ride the last 10 years have been! The first 3 years of this blog contain the meatiest, most substantial posts in my opinion so I am going to be reblogging those posts on the day that they were posted 10 years ago as they come up. I will also be posting updates in the present day too interspersed with these older blog posts.

So here is the very first blog post from the first day I signed up for the wordpress site– I was back then just learning to navigate the brand new wordpress world (and with my very first laptop computer too–I was still just learning the computer) at that time–my youngest child was now settled in college.

The first post was lyrics to an original song that expressed the hope I felt at going from “lost” to “found”. Thank you to all of you who follow me and to any of you who have followed me from the very beginning, I am sending you big hugs!!! 💞💞💞I’d love a comment or a hello from you!! Please join me in celebrating my 10 year anniversary of teaching and learning self-compassion through this blog–all the way from Elaine to Roxanne Elaine. I will continue to write here to share my journey to comfort and encourage all who resonate with this community of Hope and Healing. I’m so grateful to all of you who read my blog. Again I THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul.

Wishing you a wonderful Happy New Year Celebration!! 🎉🙌 Yay!! It’s 2020!!🤩

A new Beginning for us all.

Party like 1999

Sending you comfort, caring, inner peace, love and light,

and Encouragement to Enjoy Life, and Permission to Party!!

Look how far you’ve come!! 😃💃🕺❣️

Roxanne ✌️😇🎶💖✨

 

Hope and Healing Haven

My very first post, Dec. 30, 2009: 

I Was Lost But Now I’ve Found Me

Lyrics by Roxanne Smith

I am strong but they can’t see me

I am wise but they can’t hear me

I am kind but they can’t feel me

I was lost but now I’ve found me

I can see the truth in me

I can feel the love in thee

I can have the strength I lost begin again

Your belief in me makes me free

CHORUS

I am sad and you are there to hold me

I am weak and you are there to guide me

I am scared and you are there to love me

I was lost but now I’ve found me

I can be all that I can be

Overcome the fear they gave me

When all I feel is lost and unaware

You are there to say you care

When…

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A New Beginning For This Blog As We Continue Healing Our Childhood Wounds

Sharing our story sets us free

Hi everyone. I have an announcement to make but first I want to thank all of you who have followed this blog and who have shared your stories and have felt part of this community of hope and healing. It was years ago in January 2010 that I started this blog and many of you have grown and evolved with me as we have shared and healed our childhood wounds together.  I want to fill you in on the details and the big changes ahead for this blog. Yes, it is time for some exciting new changes and the biggest one is that I want to reveal my real name and take ownership of this blog that I am so proud of.

I have been upfront since the first day of this blog saying on my About page that I was using a PEN name. Elaine D. Sanders. I chose this special name so that I could write uninhibitedly about my journey in emotional healing and so that I could help others who are struggling to find and express their true voice as well.  My pen name served me well and I have no regrets about being known as Elaine and proudly using this name for my life coaching business that came about because of the success of helping others through this blog.use your voice…brave…live life imagined

Now I am stepping fully into the light with my real legal name and claiming my story.  I feel and hope this will be very empowering for others who are healing from childhood wounds as well. It is with love and compassion and gratefulness in my heart that I share this information with you, my followers and readers, because I know you will understand and support this new venture of empowerment for all of us to step into our truth, and be unafraid to speak up with our true voice about our childhood experiences and our healing journeys. There is no shame in telling your story, nothing to fear when you speak up for yourself about times you felt diminished and unloved as a child.  Telling the truth and coming out of hiding is the right thing to do and doing so will support others to do the same.

My middle name really is Elaine.  I love the name and when I first decided to start this blog I was proud to find out that the meaning of the name Elaine is “shining light”.  My legal first name is Roxanne and I was thrilled to find out the meaning of Roxanne is “dawn”–light of a new day-a new beginning. Right now I am gradually changing all posts and comments from Elaine to Roxanne.  It will take a while to complete the change and until then I hope all will be understood. Being yourself…is easier

Some might ask, with the great success of this blog why not stay Elaine?  Well, about a year and a half ago, I wanted my grown children and husband to be able to tell of my new successful career as a life coach and singer/songwriter without having to tell a long story of why I had a pen name. Also, I wanted to start a home community life coaching business and I also wanted to be close to my family (and also to this new support network) through facebook.  So I started a home community life coaching website, a new blog with more songs, a personal facebook page and community facebook page in my legal name that I go by on a daily basis with close friends, my husband and kids. Through this experiment I eventually realized I now felt uninhibited to talk about inner child healing and my own healing journey with great confidence– I was able to do both and go back and forth to both blogs and websites with ease for quite a while.  I gradually saw how I was dividing myself and my energies.  Recently it came clear how I could integrate everything to my legal name and that this would be very empowering for all for me to do this. My energies of late had been mostly with my new creative ventures in my world as myself, Roxanne E. Smith.  I am now ready to come out on this blog and say this is who I am, this is what I experienced, and this is how I recovered, and I want to be a role model to help others to come out and express their true voice as well.Owning our story…brave..our light

Upon beginning to write about my past, I had no idea that this blog would be so helpful to others as it has become.  My intention was and is to help and support others by sharing my experience and journey of emotional healing.  I have no resentment, anger, or bitterness towards any people from my past. I do not carry any hard feelings towards them and I wish them only peace and love.  I believe I may have chosen everything that happened to me because I knew my soul was strong enough to recover so that I could help others.  I am now grateful for everything that has ever happened to me for now I am on this path of enlightenment and helping others see their beautiful shining light within that is underneath the layers of pain and self-doubt. I believe helping souls to break through to their true essence is my true purpose in life.  I have come to a place where I know that the absence of light experienced as children is because parents and caregivers of children may have had atrocities and abuses from their own childhood that may have caused a complete separation from their own light.  We absorbed all that darkness as  highly sensitive gifted children but now, after emotional healing, we can now give that light back to ourselves — as for myself, it was only through much inner grief work that I recovered and this is what I now help others through my work–through blogging, life coaching, and through sharing my healing songs and their lyrics.

The truth will set us freeI shared my honest feelings on this blog because this was my experience and it was this candidness that most helped people relate their own feelings and stories and heal on a deep level. Many of my songs continue to reflect the painful journey to wholeness and joy from a childhood of feeling lost–I feel it was through the gift of music and creative song writing that I was able to heal and express my voice and this self expression continues to heal me as well as others.  I have continued to write and record more healing songs recently and this is the project that has kept me busy this past year.follow fire in heart…passion is your purpose

I have a new music website for my newly created and professionally recorded Album–A New Beginning!  I am excited to share with you my songs which are my new passion and focus as of right now and my album of 10 professionally recorded songs is now available for download and also on iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, and many other sites worldwide.

Other changes on this blog and my websites include the adding of a link to my facebook community page called Higher Ground Haven. So please check it out by finding it on the right side of the page and clicking on the name of it–you don’t have to be on facebook to enjoy it–it is open to the public and will just be another means of support for this community.  Sometimes in winds…. find our direction

There will be a new name for this blog–it is being changed from Hope and Healing with Elaine to Hope and Healing Haven.  I hope you like it and will remember it easily.  I think it is a great fit!  The domain name is going back to hopehealing.wordpress.com. Elainedsanders.com will no longer be.  I won’t be taking new clients for an indefinite period of time because my singing/songwriting career is taking center stage in my life right now and I will be sharing my song lyrics which are self-help poetry put to music as I embark on this new career.

I hope that you will enjoy embarking with me on this NEW BEGINNING journey.  My song A NEW BEGINNING has new meaning now as it has been rerecorded professionally and is the perfect tribute to this new phase of this Hope and Healing Blog that I hope will continue to be a Haven for all souls seeking healing from their childhood wounds and empowerment to find their true voice and true self.like the End of world is a new beginning Please enjoy listening to a sample of A New Beginning below:  press > play to hear Another song I’d like to share is called “I’m All Right”–you can listen to a sample of it below:

My new music website is finished and it is ready to share with you, you may visit it here: RoxanneSmithMusic.com. 10 professionally recorded healing songs from my new album are now finalized and available for purchase with free samples of each song for you to listen to first!  You can buy downloads of the songs there on the website–all proceeds will go to continuing my work to help others heal from childhood emotional pain.  It’s a great cause!  I highly recommend playing the songs especially in the morning each day as you get ready–it will change your mood for the day and has a healing effect. Think of it as part of your extreme-self-care healing routine each day which is so important for highly sensitive survivors.  We need to do extra kind things for ourselves each day!  Please try it and let me know how it works for you–I welcome the testimonials!

Thank you for reading today.  I am excited to re-connect with all of you survivors who are searching for emotional guidance and a safe place to feel connected and to heal from the past.  This is a wonderful community to be a part of and I feel truly blessed and grateful. Welcome To Hope and Healing Haven!

With love, blessings, and warmest caring wishes,

Roxanne

(Read the following comments from the bottom up)

 

Roxanne hopehealing.wordpress.com truevoicelifecoach@ymail.com 162.201.38.186
Submitted on 2014/02/11 at 12:59 pm | In reply to Judy.

Thank you so much, Judy! That’s wonderful that you will be joining me! You are an important part of this community and I appreciate your support and participation as we journey ahead! With love and light, Roxanne

Judy theprojectbyjudy.wordpress.com pbnjudy@1791.com 70.162.0.48
Submitted on 2014/02/10 at 2:26 pm

Congratulations. I’m looking forward to step onto this new path with you.

Roxanne hopehealing.wordpress.com truevoicelifecoach@ymail.com 162.201.38.186
Submitted on 2014/02/09 at 4:58 pm | In reply to Alec.

Hi Alec! Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement! Yes, I’ve got new wings to fly higher!–I hope it is “uplifting” for all! Stay tuned for my next post in 2 days–it’s about my “amazing” past year.

Alec alec.zander@gmail.com 84.103.182.3
Submitted on 2014/02/09 at 8:32 am

This a great step! Well done! You are flying on an amazing trajectory!

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Here is an edited version of the original “About Me” when I was using a pen name, written in December 2009 and used through February 2014 (the original was changed a few times over the years ):

Hello and Welcome!  Elaine is a name that has special significance to me and I have chosen this Pen name because it will make it easier to be completely honest and uninhibited in all my writing. My wonderful supportive husband and I have both had many childhood wounds to heal and overcome and we have made a new wonderful life and have raised two amazing children.

I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Child and Family Services with emphasis in humanistic counseling psychology, sociology,  family dynamics, and child development.  There was nothing more important to me than raising children with high self-esteem and to be emotionally healthy, and breaking the cycle of emotional repression that has been passed down for generations through our extended families.  Our children are in college and beyond now, adjusting well to all of life’s demands, and my husband and I couldn’t be prouder of them, not just because of their accomplishments and achievements but because of the relationships we have with them and the caring, loving people they have become.  We are supportive and encouraging of whatever they choose to do with their lives and we are there for them to listen to their feelings and they in turn are supportive and encouraging to us and grateful and loving human beings.

I have discovered many things along the way to building a healthy family and finding my true purpose in life.  I have discovered I am an INFJ, an empath, a highly sensitive person, an avid journaler, writer of self-help poetry, and a singer/songwriter writing many songs–including my songs of hope and healing.  These songs were written mostly to help myself through the pain from my many childhood wounds and the ups and downs of life. Most of all, I have discovered the depth of my skills as an Empathic Life Coach.  With this, I have discovered my true purpose in life-all my skills of writing and singing and songwriting have been catalysts in helping me express and find my true voice–to realize that my true purpose is empowering other highly sensitive souls to heal from their wounds from childhood and become the person they are meant to be.

I feel it as a privilege for me to provide comfort and support to any soul who is in emotional pain and to let them know there is hope and someone out there who understands. With the help of this website,  it is my hope to validate, inspire, and give hope to people through my writing,  my music, and my availability to you as an Empathic Life Coach.   So often a person just needs a companion to listen–someone to validate the complex and confusing painful feelings that come up when childhood wounds are triggered and then keep us from moving forward to become our true selves.  Our blog community strives to be an “enlightened witness”  for any person who needs to be heard about childhood wounds or if you have no family members or friends who understand you.  Please check out the comment sections of each post which contain lots of guidance and sharing of experiences. We understand and we care. Welcome to our community!

With love,

Roxanne

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