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Category Archives: POSTS

A Healing Poem for Sensitive Souls with a Narcissistic Mother on 11-11.

Hello Everyone!  Many sensitive, and empathic souls and clients are having childhood wounds arise to the surface to be healed.  It can be a very painful experience.  It’s also an opportunity to heal and become stronger.  I hope this poem I wrote recently is helpful, uplifting, and supportive. If you resonate, please leave a comment and maybe we’ll create a tribe for support.  Welcome!

YOU WERE NEVER LOVED, MY DEAR (Healing Shame From Childhood Wounds)                By Roxanne Elaine Smith

When you had a narcissistic mom

Where’s the next hit coming from

Not a hit with fist or hand

But words and eyes that punch and land

*

Devastating to your soul

Nothing solid to take hold

No mirror to see your worth

No smiles and comfort so you search

*

You search for reasons, blame yourself

Shame and doubt instead of stealth

It robs you of the truth and time

You were sweet and so sublime

*

You were shining, curious love

Sent to earth from up above

But chose the hardest path to start

A childhood starved from feeling part

*

Everywhere you reached was blocked

So you gave up and heart was locked

Trust too much or not enough

Attracting all similar stuff

*

Until you realize the pattern here

You were never loved, my dear

Start from scratch and loving you

Oh it is so hard to do

*

At first because the triggers are

Relieving painful trauma jars

Shocking you right to your core

“How did I survive Oh Lord”

*

You didn’t! No you gave up YOU

And turned into a mask not true

Obedient and needy so

People-please and perfection oh

*

Trying oh so many things

Until your true voice finally sings

But shame comes up with every truth

The pattern hidden from your youth

*

Every time you were you, you were shamed

Have to get YOU back again

Ignore the shame and keep on moving

Rise above shame and keep on grooving

*

Yell at shame, you are not mine

Dance out shame, I am just fine

Shame keeps coming every time

Hiding doesn’t heal the crime

*

Only way is to see the child

Inside the parents who went wild

Spilling out their pain on you

Everything it was not true

*

You were perfect whole and right

Their fear and anguish like a blight

They felt safe because of you

Your light it was so bright it’s true

*

Not fair of course you deserved the world

You knew that you could heal and unfurl

Figure it all out you would

And love yourself just as you should

*

And finally learn strong boundaries

And attract those loving hercules

Those strong people, inner strength

Like you they’ve been put up to the brink

*

The death of soul and now awake

They search for tribes to quell and quake

Masterful and sensitive

They forgive and give and give and give

*

And you know you are one of them

And renewed hope on journey stems

Trying listening within

Trusting that love is what went dim

*

Self compassion is your chore

As shame returns with each great score

Reducing size or is it growing

Heal emotions and new knowing

*

Center, grounding, peace of mind

Solid forming, still maligned

Defensiveness and anger flare

But forgiving quicker in thin air

*

Believing in the moment’s peace

That’s the truth not all the fleece

Still confusing childhood wounds

Where’s the love-so many moods

*

Why the deep and painful purge

Feel relief when follow urge

Writing helps you flow it out

The truth is innocence about

*

All of it you chose but why

More than you can fathom, sigh

Others seem to simply thrive

Private hell they do deny

*

Good to have access to love

Reach for heaven up above

But also know you are whole and kind

Lovely you, you shine, shine, shine

*

Then loved ones blame—it all comes back

Another painful self attack

Oh the grief you must allow

The child must cry it out oh wow

*

Will the tears they ever stop

When your happy bubble popped

Self-reliant muscle test

You are getting strongest yet

*

See yourself that child hugged

Held and cherished sweetest mug

Smiles and happy to see you

Healing all that you’ve been through

*

It’s okay to cry a lot

Over things that most forgot

Disappointment to your core

Life goes on with all the sores

*

Want them all to go away

Triggers say hello today

Do not put it all on you!

Bask in love all the day through

*

When you find a sea of pain

That is someone else’s train

Let them drive on their own track

Do not let them take a snack

*

Send them love and move along

You know how you are so strong

You do so much for others

Time to be your own best mother

*

Nurture, comfort, love your soul

You are here to Rock n Roll

Everything is now alright

You are purely Love and Light

Original Poem © Roxanne E. Smith

 

With deep caring, comfort, and compassion,

Roxanne 😇💖✨

P.S. See more healing poems and writings here

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High Expectations? New Tools For Sensitive Souls’ Healing Journeys.

Hello Everyone!  I haven’t written for a while because I’ve been so busy just observing this emotional roller coaster ride of the last couple months—it’s been hard to put into words!  It has propelled me into journaling more to get clarity and as always when I write I am able to access a higher perspective of “what the heck is going on now”! 😳🙏😆Haha! I’ve learned a few things and so I feel ready to share some of the positive things to give all of you sensitive souls on this spiritual journey a boost to feel better about EVERYTHING!

What a roller coaster ride!  By this I mean Ups and Downs and Curves and Surprises and Shocks! Can you relate? But at the end of a roller coaster ride at an amusement park, the end of the ride comes with a slowing down and a smooth safe feeling until it comes to a stop and you get off and everyone is all smiles and Gee that was fun.  Well, in general I mean haha, and only because you knew it was temporary—it was a ride you took by choice and it was a safe way to experience a thrill and know it would be over soon.  

Compare that to this incarnation of life on this planet. As sensitive souls, we are highly evolved divine beings here to help, but we have expectations of smooth sailing and love and abundance. I really think it is these expectations that contribute to us getting stuck in the lows on the roller coaster that we experience.  

All of this is coming up for me to talk about I believe because of this last full moon on October 13-yesterday!  If you are like me you may have noticed that you are very sensitive to cosmic changes to the planet and Full Moons and New Moons etc..  I am not very educated in astrology but I find myself searching for YouTube videos to explain what’s going on cosmically at certain times when I’m feeling out of balance and sure enough it is a full moon or a solar flare or something like this causing our distress and it all resonates and gives a sense of relief.  

I get some reassurance from the information I watch or read from elsewhere but often times I am searching and don’t find what I need to feel inner peace—then I am forced to write and then I realize as I connect to my higher self, my inner wisdom, my spirit team, my angels, the Universe, God, whatever you want to call “IT”.

I am then reminded that all my answers for my own inner peace can be found “within”.  I know this but why do I keep forgetting it?  Looking for outside validation has been ingrained in us as humans on this planet and we all feel this—trying to fit in and feel understood by other humans—wanting a tribe or even one other person who understands us and makes us feel reassured and comforted that we are OKAY and that what we are feeling is OKAY and that there is hope and that everything is going to be OKAY.

This neediness we feel is understandable—as highly sensitive, compassionate, evolved souls we are awakening spiritually but we are straddling 2 worlds. We are trying to make it in the 3D world and pay our bills etc. and also looking at the higher perspective of the 5D spiritual world for deeper meaning and understanding of why we are here, keeping our vibration high, and living in the moment to access the unconditional love that we have resonated with as Yes, This is it! All is well! We want that feeling everyday, all the time, every morning when we wake up.

But what I am understanding is, when we wake up in the morning with horrible dread and feeling bad about being here on the planet we need to observe this as information and not as our current truth.  As divine beings, we have often been astral traveling in our sleep. We love to be in the higher angelic realms where we are from evidently—it’s all Love and Light there all the time! 😇 😁 So when we come back into our bodies and wake up as a human on the planet, the densest negative energies, often from our childhoods or possibly past lives come up to the surface so that we can see that these energies are there and are just ready to be “released”. 

We are strong and powerful divine beings with love and light as our true nature but when we were born we didn’t know this so these wounded parts of ourselves are taking longer to heal then we “expected”. If you had a narcissistic parent then you were unloved and had unmet needs day in and day out for years and years and so you have many layers of of small hurts and false beliefs about yourself that need reparented and comforted one by one. That may be discouraging to hear that it is going to take longer to heal than you expected but here is the good news.  If you observe the big bad emotion you wake up with as just “information” about your past rather than your present truth you can transmute it in minutes!  

First, describe the feeling and label it!  What is this? Is it shame, dread, hopelessness, anxiety? Then you do the opposite of avoiding it, or believing it, or numbing it out by keeping busy—you go towards it and you write about it in your journal and you have compassion for yourself about it. 

Or if you are already versed in this healing process you go right to a positive affirmation to retrain the neurons in your brain to go a more positive route.  You recognize this bad feeling is your inner critic and not the truth.  It is your survival “false” self that absorbed the bad feelings from others around you not knowing they weren’t your feelings.  After all you were just a tiny child and had to believe what you were being “fed” to survive and to get along with your caretakers who didn’t SEE you for the gifted soul you were.

Most of you know this but if you are like me right now you are still surprised that you are still dealing with these long healed issues—especially in the last few months.  It is my understanding that the last remnants of these layers are possibly the most painful and most deeply ingrained and you are strong enough now to finally look at them, acknowledge that it was even worse than you thought.  So give yourself even more kindness, compassion and comforting reparenting than you ever have before. Extreme extreme self care (double extreme 😃) is in order whenever you wake up feeling bad!!  Be nicer to yourself instead of harder to yourself.  After all isn’t that what your narcissistic parent or bully said to you when they ran out of patience with you—they said “what’s wrong with you—why aren’t you over this yet—you should be feeling better by now—you are not doing as well as you thought”.  See? These things you say to yourself are judgements you are making just like bullies or abusers did which is the opposite of the unconditional love and comfort you deserved back then and deserve now.  

Sometimes it isn’t until we get out of our heads and start writing onto paper that we are even realizing we are beating ourselves up just like “they” did (if you had caretakers who maybe even did the best they could but were needy themselves so they didn’t have the patience that you needed as a highly sensitive soul who was sensitive for a very good reason.)

So now it is up to you. To KNOW you are pure love and light and when you wake up feeling bad you are to lovingly cleaning away the false residue, the past debris, that is covering up your beautiful brilliant lamp of love and light. You now have some more tools in your toolbox to lift yourself back up to where you belong.

Joy is your birthright and you are doing a great job figuring out how to shine what is rightfully yours every moment that you can. Be nicer to yourself when you feel bad not harder on yourself. You are training your brain to go positive quicker and quicker when you get better and better at replacing the doubts negative core beliefs with positive affirmations.  You can do it!  You are pure love and light.

Being a human is extremely complex!  Be patient with this healing journey that you are on!  You may be a sensitive soul who seeks safety and inner peace but you are also a tough warrior with new boundaries to take on this challenge of transmuting darkness into light on planet earth.  You chose to come here because you knew you could be successful at finding your true voice and true self and shining your true light.

Just being here on the planet you emanate this light and love energy and it uplifts others who need it. You are making a difference just by being here. So relax and be patient with yourself. It takes time and there is plenty of time for all the things you want to do. Self-compassion and self-care is always time well spent.  

Sensitive souls, I am so glad you are here on the planet with me. You make the planet a wonderful place to be. If we join forces we can move mountains. Thanks for reading and please reach out if you’d like one-on-one coaching.  My email is hopesinger11@gmail.com. Sometimes just having someone to see us and listen to our feelings with understanding can be so healing.  I also offer distance Reiki and intuitive guidance during sessions as well—you design the sessions the way your heart desires. 

I’m adding a link to my latest YouTube Video here of a recent performance of my original song, We Are Here To Love. The lyrics to this song just flowed out of me from beginning to end with no changes—it was magical. I feel now is the perfect time to share these lyrics with you.

Lyrics: -We Are Here To Love-

Trudging through the past debris, finding sparks of light

Holding onto highest hopes, knowing love is right

Seeing through the doubters’ eyes, knowing those above

Want us to believe and know, time is made for love

Chorus: We are here to love, We can fly with wings of time

When we feel the past, We must rise above and shine

We must rise above and shine, We must rise above and shine

 

Reminded who we are by pushing past the ego’s call

Kindness to ourselves is all we need to break the wall

Pieces still fall down on us, don’t misunderstand

Keep the rays of light around and hold each other’s hand

Chorus: We are here to love…

Verse not included in this video performance:

(Power from the latest move unearth’s a tender spot

Confusing inner child takes stage, plays out what we forgot

Kindness is in order now soothing wounds so raw

New aliveness, strength abounds, braving what we saw

Chorus:.. We Are Here to…)

Bridge: Learning to be still and yet, adversity remains

But even when we think we’ve stalled, we’ve unraveled many chains

Working hard it seems we have not played to really live

But underneath we somehow gain renewed hearts to give

Chorus: We are here to love…

Have faith and know that even in the hardest grief of times

You are loved and cheered about, so take in all the signs

Relish in the life you have, grateful for the rest

All will see the loveliness, you are a force for goodness

Chorus: We are here to love… You must rise above and shine… shine… shine You must rise above and shine. (slow end)

Original Song © Roxanne E. Smith

 

Until next time, With Love and Light,

Roxanne ✌️🙏💖✨   

About my Reiki Energy Healing Sessions–Distance Reiki is Available too!

Hi Everyone! “What’s this Reiki I keep hearing about?! Sounds very woo woo to me.” I understand if you feel this way. I used to feel that way too. Life has a way of getting us ready to open up to new concepts that can help us. You may have heard that everything is energy. It’s true! Sometimes we have energy blockages in our bodies so our natural self-healing abilities get “Stuck”. I happen to have a gift of being able to feel energy. Through training, experience, and this gift I am able to be a vessel through which healing energy flows through and into the body—this helps to get the client’s energy flowing again where there were blockages. The results from a 30 minute reiki session can vary from instant pain relief, to feeling deep relaxation and better sleep, to a more subtle feeling of a shift inside of feeling seen and cared for with physical ease showing up in the days ahead. The results vary per person and can even continue to show up for up to 2 weeks. I always tell clients to drink lots of water and be very kind to yourself in the days following each treatment. You don’t have to be spiritual or even believe in it for it to work—you’ll see results if you are just open to your own bodies ability to heal being accelerated by the Reiki session. At the minimum you’ll feel relaxed, rejuvenated, recharged, and reset while underneath it all your body’s energy is starting to flow in big healthy ways. 30 minute sessions are $65. Once a month sessions can get you to a continued flowing state which will lead you to better health, energy, and optimum vitality!

So just reach out if you are interested in a session. It might be just what your body/mind/ and soul is ready for!  Indianapolis location is:
Dragonfly 360 Yoga & Wellness phone# is 317-818-1800.

Distance Reiki sessions are available!!  My email is Hopesinger11@gmail.com.
My Reiki page: https://www.hspsurvivors.com/about_reiki.html

Sending you healing light, 🙏💖
Roxanne

P.S. I apologize I did not get a post written for the entire month of September! What a roller coaster of a month!–my husband and I both had birthdays and I was preparing for a big Solo performance–my first performance in 11 months and my first Solo show in 2 years!  Here is the link to a video of one of the original songs from this latest show which was on Sept. 20, 2019 at Bier Brewery North in Carmel, Indiana: Click here=> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_dmcuufQuo.

I’ll be sharing more videos of my original Folk Rock Songs For the Soul here on this blog occasionally. These songs are meant to uplift, encourage, support, empower, and comfort and HEAL your sensitive soul–just like my sessions, and all I strive to do!

I hope you had a good September. I’m riding the cosmic waves of ascension and spirit right along with you. 😇🙏💖✨  I’m excited to see what October brings and I’ll be in touch again soon!  Reach out if you’d like a session with me!  Email me at Hopesinger11@gmail.com. I’m also on my Facebook page http://facebook.com/HigherGroundHaven alot these days too–I hope to see you there!

Sending you all so much Love and Light,

Roxanne

New Channeled Angel Message–August 2019 Update Part 2 For Empaths and Sensitive Souls

(These messages are to be shared for all who resonate and are open to receiving spiritual guidance.  This includes Empaths, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), Lightworkers, Spiritually Awakening Souls, Earth Angels, and to all Seekers and Open-hearted souls.

This message will be added my Channeled Angel Messages Page on my blog which has posts of angel messages that I am now posting there weekly or bi-weekly.  There you will find all the other messages from 6 Archangel Guides (most of the time it is 6 but it changes) that I have posted since November, 2018.)

Hello Everyone! I have another channeled angel message for you! This time Archangel Ariel joined my usual 6 Archangel Guides for this message.  

Archangel Ariel is the Archangel of the Natural World and is a healing angel using nature to help us Rejuvenate! She has a special connection to nature, animals, and elementals and helps us connect with these for our own comfort and healing.  She is also a powerful aid in manifesting abundance in our lives.  She’s the “Lioness of God” helping us with confidence to get out of our comfort zone and “go for it!”  She has a feminine light pink energy of divine love that she shines strongly to comfort us and remind us of the strength in our divine nature.

Before I channeled this message I checked in with each of the Archangels to confirm their presence.  I detected another Archangel and when I asked who it was I was told the name Ariel. Then I felt the amazing essence of this new angelic guide who wants to contribute to these messages to all of you. I feel so honored to be the one who gets to be the messenger of this important angelic information from these 7 Archangels–it all comes through as a singular group consciousness message. Here is the latest message!:

Channelled Angel Message on Aug. 23, 2019

“Dear Ones, We are so happy to be giving you this message today.  We see you are weary from the energies of this past week. At the same time you accomplished much in the way of your own healing and knowing what you must do next on your journey to fulfilling your life’s purpose.  It hasn’t been an easy week but you are somehow also grateful for where you are now from all that you have learned.  You are aware that you need some rest and then you will have a burst of energy to get things done that you are excited about. 

You are listening to your inner guidance and have new clarity of direction in some areas and other areas are still cloudy.  Trust that you will be guided to the other paths when the time is right.  You are tweeking your plans somewhat to fit your personalities to fit the fine line between your comfort zone and taking some risks that feel right to you.  You have learned from past experience to not go too far out on a limb BUT you are more comfortable with being your true spiritual selves in ways you haven’t been comfortable before. 

You know you are here on a mission to help the planet be a better place and you are ready to shine your light brighter than ever before.  We are proud of you as we see you have learned to pace yourselves and have learned much about self-care, grounding and taking baths or getting in nature when you feel drained.  We are proud of your new found clarity about when you are feeling the feelings of others and how to release these energies and recharge in your own pure love energies.  Wow! This is such a valuable tool for your life—you can recharge from any trigger or stressful situation knowing you can always connect to pure love which you are seeing is your natural state of being. Yay! Congratulations!

Another thing we see happening for you is that you are embracing whatever life throws up to challenge you rather than dread being triggered again by loved ones.  Recent events have helped you to see that you are the stronger one emotionally and by staying calm and shining love on a person who is in a negative state you understand now that you are shortening this conflict in big ways and getting to the lesson or feelings that are to be released very quickly. 

You are excited about so many things, you are able to prioritize the things that tax your time and even cut out doing things you used to do so you can be more productive during your day.  You have a new determination to achieve your goals because you know you are good at these things and you see the service that you bring to others with your gifts.  Yes, it is an exciting time right now.  We want to encourage you to keep on seeing yourself in a positive light even when you are tired and need a rest. Others may not understand this need for rest so you can rest without others knowing if this makes it easier—you are stopping yourselves from complaining and wanting others to validate your tiredness—you see that they are not going to understand because they are not where you are on your soul’s journey. 

The emotional healing that you have done has caused you to be very aware of your feelings, body, and mind whereas others in your life are still needing to avoid and numb out their feelings with different vices that no longer interest you.  A big challenge for you is to let them learn for themselves—your results with your new ways of being are a role model for them and you do not need to say a word. Your results will be clear to you and to them in an unspoken and yet deeply satisfying way for you—You KNOW you are teaching them there is a better way to attract abundance that is not forced but comes from following a flow of your heart’s desire and inner guidance that only comes from getting out of the the left brain’s linear thought flow and following the heart and right brain feeling-side or meditative “intuitive” side. 

Writing in a journal connects you to your right brain and inner guidance and access to pure love.  We know we keep talking about this but we feel it is important for those who are very resistant to writing about their feelings or deepest most private self.  Excavating your true feelings is like being an archeologist digging for answers to “why”—This an idea talked about in a book by author Gary Zukav.  It is in finding the origins in your childhoods or past lives that you can heal the foundational patterns that were formed that keep you from moving forward towards your dreams, desires, and true purpose for being here on the planet. 

Once you have these tools to be utilized anytime confusing feelings knock you off of your center, you can regain your balance by writing and asking us angels, or your higher self, or God or the Universe (whichever term resonates) what is really going on?  Often you may be believing your negative thoughts rather than seeing those thoughts from a higher perspective. Ask in your writing “Where did they come from?—When did they originate?” An aha moment or insight may come to you about an incident from childhood. If this happens then shine self-compassion to the tiny child who did the best he or she could from what he or she knew at the time.

Survival patterns got engrained back then and when you shine light on these scars they can finally be healed.  Grieving the loss of the freedom to be your true self as a child takes time and so much self-compassion and self LOVE. You deserved love and now you can give it to yourself.  And us angels are here to help with this process of emotional healing so that you can shine your light as bright as possible each step of the way to wholeness and becoming your higher self in your ascension journey. 

Be very kind to yourself every day and especially on days when dread or shame or anxiety pops up from out of the blue.  Often this happens when you’ve recently had a success or reached a new level of receiving love in your life—this concept was talked about by John Gray in several of his books—he says: “Pain comes up to heal when things are going well”.  He is right. The old is clearing out to make room for even more love but it confuses you when it arises because you believe it to be true when it is just negativity on the way out of your body.  Imagine it leaving you as an energy no longer needed for you to survive. 

The quickest way is to just slow down with big deep breaths and say “I breathe in love” and “I breathe out love” with each breath.  Imagine yourself surrounded by only loving energy in a big protective bubble around you. Have fun in your bubble of freedom and love.  Imagine yourself swimming or flying around in your bubble however your inner child desires and people who may disapprove of your freedom can only watch you swim freely as if watching a fish in a gold fish bowl.  You are safe and free to swim in your own bubble of love any time you want.  Haha!

We hope you have fun and laugh with visualizations like this.  You deserve to have fun in life and not be so serious all the time.  Not being able to have fun in life certainly can stem from a childhood of not feeling safe enough to relax and even be in your own bodies due to emotional trauma.  This can be from past lives too or when you were young adults and not always childhood.  Often though, sensitive souls and empaths have chosen traumatic childhoods to replicate trauma from past lives that were never healed yet—this present life has much opportunity for you to finally heal these deep wounds and your higher self knows you are strong enough if you will only LISTEN.

Listen to the promptings of your compassionate heart to be kind to yourself and stop the harsh self-talk that keeps you believing the untruths that were formed out of survival.  Give yourself the unconditional love that you so freely are able to give to others—especially when you are having an unproductive day—be kinder instead of making yourself “tough it out and ignore your pain”. Pain is a teacher to awaken you to your SELF. Dear ones, you are doing such a good job on this complex journey—being a human is so complex! 

You don’t have to figure it all out quickly. We like the quote: “You don’t have to change yourself you only need to love yourself”.  It takes time to heal all the layers and we want you to know you are doing a great job!  We love you and we understand you because we are you—we are your brothers and sisters from the archangel realm and we honor your bravery to volunteer for this mission to shine your love and light on planet earth. Take care of your precious energy so you may find your niche and thrive in abundance. 

We will be back soon with another message through Roxanne who is our pure channel of love, comfort, and support for all empaths, sensitive souls, and all divine souls who resonate with these messages. Our last word to you is to take a break from all your work and emotional healing and have some fun!  You deserve to laugh and be silly and dance, sing, relax, and at least do something that makes you smile whether it’s a movie, or dinner out, or finding some live music somewhere to enjoy being in your human body. Be creative with whatever sparks fun for your inner child.

We love you and we are proud of you and we are having an angel dance party right now cheering you on! Until next time, love and light and FUN, from Archangel (AA) Muriel (AA of Empaths), AA Chamuel (AA of Comfort), AA Jophiel (AA of Creativity and Beauty), AA Sandalphon (AA of Grounding and Music, AA Uriel (AA of Wisdom), AA Azriel (AA of Grieving Loss and Transitions), and for the first time Archangel Ariel joined in and is encouraging you to get out of the house and take a walk or bike ride in nature to rejuvenate your soul.  It’s fun too, she says!”

I hope you enjoyed this message!

Peace and Love,

Roxanne ✌️😇💖✨

New Channeled Angel Message: August Update For Empaths and Lightworkers

Hello Everyone!  These messages are to be shared for all who resonate and are open to receiving spiritual guidance.  This includes Empaths, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), Lightworkers, Spiritually Awakening Souls, Earth Angels, and to all Seekers and Open-hearted souls.

This message will be added my Channeled Angel Messages Page on my blog that has posts of angel messages that I am now posting there weekly or bi-weekly.  There you will find all the other messages from 6 archangel guides (most of the time it is 6 but it changes) that I have posted since November, 2018. Please comment if you like receiving the angel messages in my blog posts. I’d love to hear from you.

Peace and Love to you,

Roxanne Elaine Smith 💗

=======================================================================

Channeled Angel Message Aug. 5, 2019: Trying New Things And Getting New Wings

Dear Ones,

We are so happy to connect with you again.  Many of you are exhausted and surprised by the challenges of July.  We are here to tell you to trust that your higher self has conspired to help you become stronger so all of your dreams can come true.  When we say all of your dreams we mean the desires in your heart that are for your highest good as a soul.  We are not talking about desires from the ego but you do not need to concern yourself with this.  You can trust that you are being lead to situations that override any lower vibrations that block your vision. 

Feelings of a lower vibration are on their way out as the true purity of your loving souls are attracting just the goodness your soul is seeking.  You are doing a good job discerning how to spend your energy each day and following your heart.  Yes it is through building this muscle of trusting your feelings and intuition that you will be able to step into empowerment and shine your full light to attract abundance.

We are so proud of you.  We see you stepping out of your comfort zone to try new things that feel right as your next steps,  Bravo! You are doing great even though you may feel surprised at the nervousness you feel inside—a little shaky at times.  This is to be expected and we want you to love yourself through this nervousness.  We want to reassure you that no-one notices this that you feel is obvious to others.  You come across more confident than you think you do.  Taking a moment to remember to breathe and speak from the self-power-awareness in your solar plexus area will help you to regain your composure and speak your truth if you encounter an unexpected response from others. 

Remember your bright light and your mission of love and all you learned in July.  You may have learned that although you have the right to release anger from your past, expressing anger or any negativity to others does not get you the results you desire in your heart.  You’ve learned that softening, taking a breath and seeing another’s negativity from a higher perspective opens the other person in ways that surprise even them.  You are changing long instilled patterns of reacting and this is so wonderful.  Even if you aren’t seeing results in others yet, know you are changing patterns of triggers with yourself in big ways.  You know what treatment you deserve and by giving yourself this loving better treatment you will attract this better treatment from others. 

You might be asking isn’t it obvious—I’m so innocent of any wrong doing? But in that same breath are you seeing that in the past you have had a bit of a controlling side that you were blind to.  Do not be hard on yourself if you resonate with this truth—this was a self-protection that was necessary to your survival in the past  But now you see that love is not controlling and you are ending this pattern of controlling yourself and others.  This is resulting in healing the codependency on others and needing outside validation to quell your fear of being alone. 

You see that when you connect with your true higher self of pure love, this alone feeling vanishes and you feel whole.  And so you are able more and more to detach from unhealthy dependency and stand strong and know you are a powerful creator.  Even if you are only starting to get glimpses of this independent power inside yourself, know that this will not go away and will only grow stronger.  Your higher self has guided you through some painful reopening of rejection wounds that have helped you to see you must stand on your own 2 feet and you can’t rely on anyone else to understand your unique dreams and help them come to fruition. 

You are actually the leader due to your emotional strength even though less sensitive others may point out weaknesses.  Don’t believe it!  These comments come out of fear of not being right due to insecurities they have not worked through but you have.  Don’t try to explain but just know in your heart that you are growing so strong and you are loved and supported fully by the higher realms who see your budding wings growing and getting ready to fly. 

Trust yourself to know your own pace as you try new things that are scary.  Shame may arise with attempts at revealing your real self and true voice but know this is only the inner critic ego voice trying to protect you.  Keep moving forward after comforting yourself through this old shame that arises.  You may find you need to grieve and cry about the times you believed this shame in the past—shame can rob sensitive souls of opportunities to shine if it is believed and fed into. 

It’s best to label the emotion when it arises and don’t let it take hold—observe it and say something like, “Okay, I see you, shame.  I see you are here because I did something great for myself so I am not going to listen to you.  Go away shame energy!”  Visualize this negative energy going away from you.  Put up your magic bubble that you can visualize—imagine your shining light can go outward through your bubble but negative energy can only leave and cannot come back in. 

Oh doesn’t that feel better! Take a big deep breath, exhale and relax and know you are safe in only your own loving energies inside this bubble.  We hope you use this bubble visualization anytime you feel heavy negative feelings come out of the blue.  Also remember to write out your feelings in a journal if you feel stuck.  This writing works because you get the negative thoughts out of your left brain and onto paper and the act of writing connects you to the compassionate right side of the brain that can then comfort you and help you realize that you are being too hard on yourself. 

We hope these techniques help you as you take amazing steps of bravery to share your creative gifts and services with the world.  We are so proud of you and we are happy to have this opportunity to connect with you again.  We want to share that August will have more smoother times that you’ve created for yourself by healing deep inner wounds in July.

Yes there will be some emotional healing to do in your future of course—this self-growth process is well known to you and for most of you, the hardest parts are now behind you.  You know this on some level. Trust in this knowing about yourself.  You are a powerful healer and you are becoming more comfortable with this truth.  Congratulations for hard work well done!  We love you and send hugs of comfort and encouragement to shine strong until the next message, Archangel (AA) Muriel (AA of Empaths), AA Jophiel (AA of Creativity and Beauty), AA Chamuel (AA of Comfort), AA Sandalphon (Archangel of Grounding and Music), AA Uriel (AA of Wisdom), and AA Azrael (AA of Grieving Loss and Transitions).

Helpful Tips About Healing Childhood Pain–From Self-doubt To Finding Your True Purpose

Hello Everyone, After my last post was so well received, I feel inspired to share more posts of this nature–so I am sharing the following very popular post from the first year of this blog in April 2010–it received about 3,000 views in the first years of this blog. I hope you find it helpful and supportive! I’ll be putting a link to it on the home page. With comfort and caring support, Roxanne 💖✨

Hope and Healing Haven

Hi everyone.  I hope you are able to enjoy the beauty in the spring flowering trees and all of the splashes of purple and pink that are so breathtaking–at least they are here where I am located.  Wherever you are, I am grateful for the technology of the internet that helps me to feel as if I am connected to you–all of you who are highly sensitive and have endured a less than healthy environment during your formative years.  I understand your struggle to make sense of the self-doubt and negative messages in your heads and of the occasional upheaval of childhood wounds that are sometimes too painful to bear.  I used to feel that way–I have come such a long way from self-doubt to finding my voice as a person and knowing my true purpose in life.  I can still remember the pain and confusion and sometimes I still have wounds that come…

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Sensitive Soul With a Narcissistic Parent? Here’s Hope To Cheer Up That Dread In the Morning Feeling!

Hello Everyone. If you feel like me this morning, you need some cheering up.  So I’m here to tell you that you are so much more than you feel.  Underneath the unworthy feeling and dread of being here on the planet is a soul with an inner child who is actually so full of life and joy.

Maybe you’ve gotten glimpses of your true amazing self recently and started actualizing some of your dreams but now the unworthiness is back and you feel lost.  Know that you are healing. “Big Time Inner Healing” is going on on the planet right now.  No you have not stepped backwards.  If you had a narcissistic parent or a mother who was too steeped in her own pain to give you what you needed, how is that pain ever going to heal if it is always pushed down and ignored?

So it is bubbling up to the surface to say hello and for you to love yourself through it.  You might be saying, I can’t get anything done this week—I am feeling like such a failure.  Look at it from a different perspective. Maybe reality is like this:  You had a great productive run there for a while and now is the perfect time for you to take some self-care time for yourself and look at some old wounds that keep popping up and holding you back. Whatever you are feeling you have good reasons for feeling it!

As a child you may have been neglected, shamed, humiliated, abandoned, betrayed, ganged up on by siblings, or ________ fill in the blank. You did a good job surviving the best that you could. You developed a deep unworthiness and a feeling that you’re not good enough as a tiny child when in fact you were great at most things.  You were deeply disappointed that you were not “seen” and it made no sense.  But now you know. 

You know how gifted you are and were—this is old stuff we are rehashing here—but here is the BIG THING that is happening right now.  You are having trouble actualizing your true self and stepping up into your true voice because the old wounds haven’t completely healed and they are coming up now so you can heal it. Yes, you can heal it! 

I am experiencing this too so let’s do this together.  There are inner child healing visualization exercises that are so powerful that they will shift us into our true selves and at the same time comfort and release a deep wound from childhood that has been frozen and stuck because we have had no patience with it. 

How often have you beaten yourself up for feeling a certain way and numbed yourself out with tasks or work to avoid allowing yourself to feel that way—this is the way that most Americans cope—they grit it out and go to their 9 to 5 jobs and are too busy to feel but they feel good that they got paid and worked and that is their reinforcement to continue to numb out their feelings. 

Then there are those of us creative intuitive feeling types that so struggle with fitting into this expectation—we try and try but the darn feelings keep coming up and getting in the way of us making a good living like other people do. But in actuality, we are the more skilled at attracting abundance then those who are nose to the grindstone—we just fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others who seem to be successful with a steady paycheck.

I am reading the book Creating Money by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer and it is so good for Empaths, Sensitives, and Creative Artists who are struggling to step into their purpose and fly with their whole heart.  It says to get used to an ebb and flow when you are in a creative business that relies on your trusting your innate gifts of intuition and creativity to make a living. 

There will be times when you are humming along (flow) and then things will slow down and you have some time to look inward and grow some more (ebb).  This is not the way most of society thinks of as the way to success! You may be shamed by people who are making a living without access to their feelings and purpose.  Don’t listen to them.  You are the wiser soul with all the answers inside.  You’ve got this. We can do it together. 

I feel very excited about being a cheerleader for sensitive souls who are overcoming the deepest scars from a childhood lacking any sort of strong foundation to launch from. I can help put the pieces together so you can see that your sensitive soul already had a strong foundation of love and experience to launch from and you chose a really difficult childhood because you are strong enough to break through to be YOU. 

I’m confident that underneath the layers and messages of unworthiness that you absorbed as a tiny child is a gifted creative soul who is a shining light of goodness and compassion here to help the planet with that very compassion that has been used against you. 

It’s so hard to be excited about the day ahead when you wake up with dread and bad feelings about yourself. I have found if this happens to me I can stay stuck in that place if I don’t MAKE myself take some kind of action to access my truth.  For me it is writing in a journal.  I just start writing about how bad I am feeling and I immediately have compassion for myself and realize I am being too hard on myself. 

This is part of my gift and purpose, writing hopeful things (blog posts, songs, poems) to help uplift others similar to myself in a similar plight. I feel so much better writing all this then I did when I woke up this morning.  It has taken me 3 days of feeling down and being guided to rest and take a break (ebb) to finally feel rested enough to just start writing about my frustration in the hopes that it will help others. 

This is the voice of my true self and it feels so good to have broken through (flow) that stuck feeling of unworthiness that my inner child was stuck in.  When you have a narcissistic mother, you must learn self-compassion for the feelings that arise to be healed and take time out to write or do visualization exercises:

Okay here is a powerful exercise for healing the inner child that I mentioned earlier:

Picture yourself as a small child of any age you choose with the feelings that have you feeling down on yourself.

Picture yourself as your now adult self walking along and coming upon your tiny child self who has been abandoned and yelled at and shamed and abused. You are shocked at the beauty of this child, how could anyone ever not see the giftedness of this child that you see? You come to the rescue! 

You see the compassion, sensitivity,  creativity, curiosity, hopefulness, sense of humor, artistic ability, introspective genius, complex thinking, deep feeling capacity, ability to find joy and fun in the smallest of nature’s splendor, and on and on.  You are perplexed at how a child so magnificent could be cast aside and blamed for crying too much or any other small attempt to be loved.  Oh the injustice of it all—it makes no sense because yeah it is pretty crazy.  It’s not right.  And the adult you can do something about it immediately.  You go over to the child and you rescue them into your arms of the truth and the unconditional love that you know they deserve.  You pick them up with a knowing of who they are and all that they came here to be. You hold them tightly in your arms with their head on your shoulder and you tell them, “Everything is going to be alright now. I am here and I see what happened to you and it was wrong.  You deserved so much more and I’m going to hold you and comfort you and take care of you until you feel better.  I’ll be gentle with you and let you cry when you need to so you can learn to trust your feelings again. I’ll be here for you for as long as it takes. I promise because I see the gifts inside of you that are going to blossom with tender loving care.  And I’m going to teach you to be kind to yourself and that it’s okay to make mistakes and that is how we learn. I’m going to teach you to be whole and strong and stand on your own 2 feet because you know how to forgive yourself and be kind and caring to yourself and that you are good enough every minute that you are alive. When you are ill, you need rest and when you are sad you need freedom to grieve. I will take care of you forever.”

So you hold the inner child you and you feel them feeling better and healing those deep layers of unworthiness and not being held and comforted and their needs for autonomy not being met. 

You do this every time you are feeling bad about yourself—-do it every morning if you wake up feeling bad about yourself. Write about this process every time in a journal if it helps solidify the healing you experience.  You may want to write it from the child’s perspective. You may need to write out the grief of the loss of a childhood of not being able to have fun and relax due to these deeply engrained fears of not getting your basic needs met.

I’m reminded of many books that helped support me when I started doing my deepest inner grief work back in 2003 and then I started writing my songs of hope and healing in 2004. (See my recommended books page) And here I am here in 2019 clearing out the last remnants of these deep feelings of unworthiness to speak my voice that came up this morning and prompted me to write this to help others feeling these feelings. 

It just shows to depth of the damage that having a narcissistic parent can do to your sensitive soul. Oh it is so hard to break out of the vicious cycle of self-contempt!  But you can do this!  You are so special and gifted and full of light.  Keep coming back here to my blog if you need more encouragement because I plan to keep it up.

I see you and I am so proud of how you are healing.  I understand the depth of pain that that blanket of unworthiness can cause each morning. I wish you the strength to break through to the truth of the glory of who you really are. I’ll be back again soon to cheer you up again.  (See my channeled angel messages page too for more encouraging and comforting words from the angelic realms)

You’ve got this!  Sending infinite Hugs and Love and Light to your wounded inner child and to YOU,

Roxanne 😇💖✨

New Weekly Channeled Angel Messages: Comfort For Empaths and Lightworkers During Ascension

Channeled Angel Messages ✨😇💖✨Weekly!

Hello Everyone!  These messages are to be shared for all who resonate and are open to receiving spiritual guidance.  This includes Empaths, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), Lightworkers, Spiritually Awakening Souls, Earth Angels, and to all Seekers and Open-hearted souls.

This blog post is taken from my Channeled Angel Messages Page on my blog that has 13 posts of angel messages that I am now posting there weekly.  There you will find all the other messages from my 6 archangel guides (most of the time it is 6 but it changes) that I have posted since November, 2018. Please comment if you like receiving the angel messages in my blog posts. I’d love to hear from you.

Peace and Love to you,

Roxanne Elaine Smith 💗

July 15, 2019

Dear Gorgeous Sensitive Souls, we are greeting you this way because some of you are not feeling so beautiful right now and we want to reassure you that you are and so much more than you can imagine.  Your brilliant light and healing abilities are vast and strong and your ability to tap into the beauty and bliss of existence is very real. Often you get bogged down from being around others and don’t even realize the negativity is not yours.  Other times you are triggered by the insensitivity of loved ones and your own unhealed wounds come up to the surface.  Often this makes you feel shocked at the depth of your wounds about feeling safe.  You know that you need to feel safe at a basic level. 

The good news is that this is happening so that you can now begin to create this safety for yourself from the inside out.  Until you know about these unsafety feelings that have been long hidden inside, you can’t heal them.  So your higher self is guiding you to these situations where you have to face these needs for safety that were never properly formed in your childhood or you may have root chakra damage from past lives that has not been resolved that is playing out in this lifetime. 

This happens if you died tragically in a past life for being persecuted for many reasons and one example is for being accused of being a witch. Or you may have been an outspoken or rebellious woman or man who did not follow the rules of your time and were trying to help others in some way. The list of possibilities is long.  Deep feelings of untrust and injustice and not being able to speak your truth may all be coming up to be healed and resolved in this life. You may be clearing throat chakras issues in this case.  If it all feels like too much to decipher and bear please take a break from figuring it all out and be really kind to yourself right now. Often the weekends are when conflicts arise because we have the time and our higher self knows it.  Try to trust that your higher self will not give you more than you can handle. 

If you can write in the mornings to get back in touch with your true loving nature and clear out your disappointment, then the rest of your day will go so much better.  We see how strong you are, how amazing you are when you speak out about things—when your words are twisted or not received well, you are hard on yourself and forget that what you were saying is/was very accurate. Your are right and you are right most of the time—people who manipulate and downplay your words are just showing their insecurities and fear.  It is disguised as power but it is born out of fear of not being good enough.  You also have roots of not being good enough that you are clearing out.

You are now knowing you are good enough so you expect loved ones to be a cheerleader for you and you may be shocked and disappointed when they are not.  You would never not be a cheerleader so then you blame yourself for not choosing people in your life who are not cheerleaders. Please know that what gifts you bring to the planet, of creativity and high vibration, cause a healing crisis in other people sometimes and it is all unconscious to them—they don’t know why they react the way they do. Think of yourselves as magic healers walking around bringing up others unhealed wounds sometimes.  Think of yourselves like Glenda the Good Witch floating around with a smile and beauty and a powerful wand—we hope this brings a smile to your face.  It may seem silly but if you are feeling victimized instead of seeing that you are healing, this image can really help you to heal. 

Of course Glenda has a magic bubble to get away and you can’t float away in your human world but you absolutely have the power to put a protective bubble around yourself at any time with just your imagination and intention.  It’s best to imagine this amazing bubble of yours to allow love and light and bliss to flow out to others but no negativity may enter. There are many ways you may imagine your bubble—you may like to create it to have a mirrored exterior shining outward so that when negativity approaches, it sees itself and runs away. We want this to be fun for you to experiment with. 

We are also wanting to lighten your heavy mood that stems from having absorbed negativity from elsewhere. Innately your energy is all love and light and so you can ask your guides and angels to lift off any energy that is not yours at any time. We want to help and we remind you that you must ask for our help in order for us to do things like this. We love you so much, dear ones, and we want you to be excited about who you are and your abilities to manifest your desires that are in the highest good for your soul. In order for your dreams to come true the lower vibrational repressed emotions from childhood must be cleared out.

Right now you may have anger to be cleared out—it might be causing a blockage in the heart and solar plexus chakras—imagine the frustration of not having a voice to say no to abuse and injustice and since you are healing and getting stronger and some good things are happening in your life, it makes sense that repressed anger from the past would come up to the surface to be healed.  You may find you have exploded at someone recently or wanted to and perhaps you are shocked at the rage that you feel. We want you to know you can release this anger in harmless ways by several techniques. One is by writing all the rage out at someone in a letter and do not hold back and tell the truth of the depth of your rage—and then burn it of course (in a private releasing ceremony if you’d like) or shred it because this would be damaging for anyone else to actually read.

Also hitting a mattress as hard as you can as often as you need to to release this anger out of your body.  Thirdly, saying or yelling what you wish you could say to an abuser or unfair situation into a pillow to muffle the sound. We do not want you to hurt your vocal chords of course so alternate these different techniques as you feel guided.  We want you to look at this as a healing exercise and notice the relief that you feel.  We do not need to tell you that unleashing anger onto a person would be harmful as well as lower your vibration and only cause you to feel remorse—but humans do have this big reaction at times so if by chance you do have an angry outburst on another it will do wonders to genuinely apologize for any words that diminished the other person in any way. If you were just loud out of frustration that is okay occasionally although you may find that yelling just triggers others and they may not be as mindful as you in their choice of words back to you which may trigger you in return. 

So you can see that staying calm—speaking your truth in a calm tone such as saying: “I know who I am, and what is being said about me here is incorrect” or “I do not want to be treated this way” and walk away is the beginning of finding your voice and strength to standing in your power and ending co-dependence on others approval.  We see that many of you are getting your independent legs and we are so proud of you.  Do not be discouraged if it has taken you a long time to get to where you can see with clarity that you are treated less than fairly in your love relationships too. Do not be too quick to throw this relationship away because all that may need to happen is for you to calmly say “No I’’m not going to allow you to talk to me like that—Maybe you should go take a walk and calm down” or something to that effect. We know this is easier said than done but we want you to see the progress you are making that we see—and be cheerleaders for yourselves to continue to grow in your strength as sensitive caring souls who only want to help. 

You will get more respect from the divine masculine partner when you stay calm and speak strongly and forcefully rather than cry and yell from a feeling of victimization. Forgive yourselves for occasional outbursts, you are human and it’s okay and may even be eye opening for you to see the hidden inner wound in you that needs to be healed. To be blamed or criticized or mocked or betrayed are all things you mustn’t stand for and you must speak up about—you will find your words in time.  Marriage counseling called Imago Relationship Therapy can be very helpful if you are having marital struggles with someone who is very much still in 3D and acting from their ego—because the principle is that you each are attracted to the very person who will bring up your childhood wounds so that you can heal them. 

We have talked about marital struggles here because we want you to see that it is often through relationships that we grow the most because your partners show you where the pain lies.  Optimally you can come to an agreement with your partner that you both need to provide a safe space for you each to heal your own wounds and honor and respect each others needs for time alone to process after an argument. This is difficult if you have abandonment wounds and a deep need to feel connected to another person in order to feel loved.  This is very hard and you may have PTSD with these wounds as the basis.  Asking your partner to just hold you at times can help tremendously in healing the early childhood wounds of not being held enough. Know that you are a gift to any partner you choose because you are pure love—knowing this deep in your soul will help you heal your own abandonment wounds.

If you are single with abandonment wounds you are healing it every day that you take care of yourself and are not looking for someone else to complete you.  You are complete and whole and we are especially proud of you learning to love yourself and look deeply inward to see that the wounds can be healed with your own self-compassion and finding your voice by journaling or reaching out to a trusted sensitive, and experienced counselor. Trust your heart to know you’ve found the right person to help.  Always remember you can talk to us anytime and ask for guidance and be open to the answers coming to you in your mind as new insights and ideas—of course writing to us in a journal is another way of receiving insights that very may well seem like your own ideas but we are helping in a way that may not be obvious. 

This is the beginning of trusting your intuition and this muscle will grow stronger with use.  So we leave you today with much advice about healing your inner wounds and your relationship conflicts—this is because we want you to know you are not being punished by these difficulties happening in your lives right now—much to the contrary, these conflicts are providing you with opportunities to see clearly where your wounds are and how you can heal them to feel strong no matter what happens in your life.  This inner strength is what is already inside you, we can see it, but you are just beginning to see it. 

Having inner strength is all you need to manifest your dreams and even future treasures that your higher self has planned for you that you can not even imagine. Trust that the universe is in your favor always at all times. Easier times are ahead as you clear out and acknowledge and release the hardest wounds from your past.  We send you comfort and hugs and butterfly kisses for your wounded inner child. Until next time, be gentle on yourselves, AA Muriel (Empaths), AA Chamuel (Comfort), AA Jophiel (Creativity and Beauty), AA Sandalphon (Grounding and Music), AA Uriel (Wisdom), and AA Azriel (Grief, Loss, and Transitions)

Good News For Highly Sensitive People Who Are Awakening–You Can Do It!

Hello Highly Sensitive Souls! How is it possible that it is the end of May!  It’s gone so fast but now the warm weather is finally here in my part of the midwest, so I’m not complaining–I’m just in awe of the speed of time that seems to be passing!  Wow!  At the same time though I feel like a different person since January of 2019–I’ve done so much more unexpected inner work and self growth and now I’m excited to be where I’m at!  I am experiencing so much clarity and positive energy from my inner guidance to help others at a new higher level!

There is so much to feel hopeful about my dear sensitive friends.  You are exactly the way you are for a reason and you have a spirit guide and angels cheering you forward 24/7.  There may be times that you feel that they are not there and your wounds from childhood seem to be driving the bus so to speak. Please know that these wounds must come up to the surface to be cleared out and that you are healing.  Every single day you are healing!  Know that your higher self is taking you by the shoulders and helping you through each obstacle in life with the intent to make you stronger!  You got this!  You can do it!  You are loved from above.  And I’m here to help you know it and believe it and believe in yourself and your creative gifts.

I love being a cheerleader for highly sensitive souls because I understand so much now from my own journey.  I am so grateful for my intuitive gifts that have lead me to be able to have conversations now with my guides and angels and higher self.  I have honed the skill of automatic writing to where I can connect easily now and get answers.  My journey started out with so much pain and heartache as a child–being highly sensitive with abandonment wounds left me feeling so codependent on others–I didn’t even realize it–I thought I had worked through everything but no there was still more underneath some illusions that were protecting me.  But now all that is behind me and I am feeling so independent and whole.  Whatever healing seems unsurmountable to you at the moment please know that it can be done.  Whatever doubts you have about your ability to attract the life of your dreams are just words you heard from elsewhere ingrained in you from someone who may have just been jealous of your bright light,  You can learn to over-ride all self doubts with positive affirmations and self-belief and self love.

I have just channeled a new angel message, wrote a new song, and wrote a new poem all in the last 2 weeks.  I’m on a roll and I know how to unblock myself for good now. For those of you who are awakening to spirituality and are craving some good news, please check out my YouTube channel to see my angel message videos.  Go to this link=>https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg27-Lzvcffrr7lf6DRIfg.

Slowly I’ll be putting myself on the videos as I feel ready–right now it is just my voice reading the messages I have channeled.  I am following my guidance to share these messages hopefully weekly now to give comfort to empaths, highly sensitive people, lightworkers, and earth angels and awakening souls. Have a wonderful week! I care and I am here to cheer you on to love yourself and take good care of yourself.  You are on your way!

With love and light,

Roxanne 😇💖✨

The Dark Night of the Soul–There is Hope!

Hello Highly Sensitive Souls, Empaths, and All,

I hope you are doing well! I am sending my love and appreciation to all of you and especially those of you who follow my posts!  Thank you!!  I am feeling a camaraderie with you and a deep empathy for the unique painful rollercoaster journey that accompanies being a highly sensitive soul and an empath.  We are so complex but sometimes all it takes is for us to feel very seen and heard and validated for the injustices we experience and then we are renewed and recharged to get back out there and shine our lights in the world!!

I’m feeling very renewed at the moment and so I want to offer hope to any of you who are suffering right now and not feeling hopeful!!  There is hope!  You are special and you are sensitive for a good reason!  You are enough and just your being here on the planet raises the vibration, even if you don’t feel like you are!

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted because I’ve been going through so much.  March was intense and I feel compelled to reach out and connect with you all because well by nature I always want to help others–if you are having a hard time with sudden life changes well I understand completely and I am right there with you! I made it through to a very positive place and so I want to pass on to you what I learned. There is so much hope!

Oh my gosh! Where to begin? I don’t want to speak in generalities and I don’t want to vent about my personal life too much so I will try to just be vulnerable and truthful. Life had been going along one way for years and now I’ve been on this spiritual awakening journey and gradually things had turned upside down for me.  Twice in the last week I started spiraling and even my usual supports weren’t helping.  I was shocked!  I’m the one who has it all figured out and helps others how can I be feeling so out of control and panicky, I felt like I was falling in a black hole. Everything around me felt like it was crumbling away. I didn’t have a panic attack, I’ve been fortunate to never have had one– what I had was an excruciating migraine that was caused by my own negative spiraling thoughts, for hours!  …Until I asked, what in my life would make me feel better.  The answer that came to me was, something big in my life had to CHANGE.

Then I looked up online Dark Night of the Soul and found what Eckhart Tolle said about it. I was immediately comforted just because what was happening to me had a name.  I was having an existential crisis. Here are some parts of Eckhart Tolle’s article that helped me the most:

The Dark Night of the Soul–“It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness.” “…Really what has collapsed then is the whole conceptual framework for your life, the meaning that your mind had given it. So that results in a dark place.  But people have gone into that, and then there is the possibility that you emerge out of that into a transformed state of consciousness. Life has meaning again, but it’s no longer a conceptual meaning that you can necessarily explain.  Quite often it’s from there that people awaken out of their conceptual sense of reality, which has collapsed.

They awaken into something deeper, which is no longer based on concepts in your mind.  A deeper sense of purpose or connectedness with a greater life that is not dependent on explanations or anything conceptual any longer.  It’s a kind of re-birth. The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die. What dies is the egoic sense of self. Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity.  Now it is probably the case that some people who’ve gone through this transformation realized that they had to go through that, in order to bring about a spiritual awakening. Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self.”

Besides the migraine, I also was experiencing this falling sensation of impending death and as if the walls around me and life as I knew it was crumbling away.  So at a point of desperation I asked my Self, what in my life would make me feel better.  The answer that came to me was, Something had to Change. I started imagining some of these changes in detail and magically my migraine started to slowly dissipate, I felt hopeful but perplexed and awestruck by this Dark Night of the Soul experience and I was able to finally feel hopeful and get some sleep after what seemed like the longest night of my life. (Reading Eckhart Tolle’s article had helped too–full article is here).

The next morning, I felt a new sense of aliveness and I took some action on these changes feeling more empowered then I had felt in a long time. But surprisingly the changes that I imagined didn’t end up needing to be THE THING after all–but some painful conversations with certain people in my life opened up what REALLY needed to happen. Then surprisingly my heart just burst open with clarity and LOVE and gratefulness for everyone involved like never before. Suddenly all the changes that I wanted I no longer needed but it was actually the experience of having the dark night of the soul that had changed me–I felt like my heart had grown 3 sizes like the grinch when he got super powerful and turned the sleigh around–I no longer needed other people to change and I had all the answers inside all along.  My compassion for myself and others in my life and gratefulness for my journey had grown exponentially as well and a renewed passion in my career of coaching and energy healing and my music!  I’m sooo excited like never before and with such clarity and newfound energy about my true purpose in life. Wow!

I feel grateful that my Dark Night of the Soul experience was shorter than what some people experience.  After researching this, I have new empathy for the hell other’s go through.  I am also aware that this may not be my last experience with this–one never knows how the Universe is going to challenge them to grow when we are unknowingly resisting change with all of our might and our Higher Selves have a different plan for our souls’s journey.  What I have learned is more Trust!  I trust that I am being guided to experiences that are opening me up and challenging me to grow in ways I didn’t know possible. Holy Hell LOL!!–the pain I went through was excruciating but I guess it had to be purged and experienced so that I can be a hand to hold for others going through it too.

There seems to be no way to skip over this process if it is happening to you. I am not a licensed therapist for those of you experiencing a prolonged depression. But I can share my experience of healing which was by way of writing and doing deep inner grief work in a journal which for the most part started for me in 2003 and then all the songs of hope and healing started pouring out of me in the years that followed.  I credit the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron for helping me find this positive True Voice that was inside me all along. Whatever you journey looks like please know that I believe you will come out the other side and that your journey is teaching your soul something that will be of great value.

After my Dark Night of the Soul experience last weekend, words can’t describe my new vitality and passion to get on with my life’s work.  All winter long I had been soul searching looking for direction and energy and drive to move forward consistently with this blog, my spiritual counseling and intuitive coaching work, energy healing, and my performing and writing my songs of hope and empowerment.  AND I am so grateful now to be experiencing this new gift of realizing I’m a channel and always have been–It is profoundly honoring and a humbling experience for me that I now feel stronger to fully step into this role and say yes, I’m a channel for spirit here, having a human experience to help others, who are struggling with deep questions about how to embrace their gifts of sensitivity in an insensitive world.  I’m here to tell you when you step fully into loving yourself and taking responsibility to learn tools to daily rise back into your truth as a shining light for the planet you will start attracting more and more positive people and experiences that will help you feel like life is all falling into place.  Then you can relax and just be YOU!  And you are so wonderful, just as you are, my dear sensitive souls, I’m grateful that you are here with me to help raise the vibration of the planet!

Sending you so much comfort, love and light as you continue on your healing journey,

Roxanne 😇💖✨

 

12 Tips For Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) in Recovery From Narcissistic Abuse in Childhood

Hello Dear Highly Sensitive Souls. I am a life coach for highly sensitive people (HSPs) with childhood wounds and I specialize in inner child healing for adults in recovery from narcissistic abuse.  I am sharing a new post created by combining and updating 2 posts that I wrote awhile back on this blog to reveal all 12 tips for HSPs on one page.

This information on these 2 posts has continued to attract more and more followers to my blog, for all these years since 2010, even when I stopped blogging for a few years, more than any other posts on this blog. And so I am sharing it now to highlight the important content that resonates with many HSPs who are now awakening to their intuition and/or spirituality and embracing their emotional healing journey in order to step into their true purpose as their Higher Selves to assist the planet with their many creative gifts.:

As highly sensitive people, many of you are struggling with how to cope with your relationship with your narcissistic parent and your unsupportive siblings and extended family.  First of all I want to tell you that as an empathic, intuitive life coach for many people with childhood wounds, I understand your pain and how hard it is. There is very little support in our society for not having a relationship with ones’ parents no matter how negative and destructive they are to you or were to you in your childhood.  Many people have difficult parents but they tolerate them and seem to get by okay so why can’t you, right?  The pressure is very real.  But let me help you understand the difference between you (an HSP) and everyone else with some more helpful tips that are very important for you to know.

1. Know that your greatest gift is your intuition.

As a highly sensitive person (HSP), you were naturally giving and loving and trusting as children.  You had high hopes for yourselves and others including your parents.  People with loving and supportive parents are more likely living lives full of vitality and creative fulfillment and healthy boundaries to keep negative, manipulative, harmful people at a distance naturally and sharing their unique gifts with others.  These people don’t feel guilty about not getting along with everyone–they just “know” there are some people who are unhealthy and dangerous–they pay attention to their natural instincts.  But people with a narcissistic parent were taught at a very young age, even from birth not to trust their own instincts, their own intuition.  The horrible thing about that is, that was their greatest gift, “their sensitive intuition”, and it was often used against them.

2. Know that you may have repressed a terrible trauma from your childhood–the loss of the knowledge of your gifts.

Possibly, if you had an N parent, then part of your sensitivities were seen as a gift for “them”.  They could control you easily because of your trusting nature–so often they used fear to get you to be quiet, anger to get you to obey, and shame to keep you from feeling independent and strong.  And it worked.  You trusted them and needed them to take care of you and protect you from a world that overwhelmed your sensitive souls so you…experienced a trauma that caused you to shut down your true selves and become what they wanted you to become.   Something happened that was “the last straw” for your fragile but wise self that was developing. You stopped trusting the Universe to be a safe place to be YOU.  Typically it happens around age 5 or 6, according to Alice Miller (Author of The Drama of the Gifted Child).  After an incident that you can’t remember because you have repressed it, suddenly, you are obedient and sweet wanting only to please.  And please them you did.  And that is why it is so hard for them to let go of you now.  You took care of them.  Completely and amazingly.  They felt loved by you and validated by you filling a void inside of them that was caused in their childhood.  It is as if you were the loving parent that they never had.  That is how gifted you were.  Those gifts of intuiting the needs of others are still there–they were just misused and abused by your needy and narcissistic parent.  Those gifts of being a loving and giving and caretaking soul were mis-directed.

3. Know that your childhood holds the roots of your anxiety, self-doubt, post traumatic stress, and co-dependence issues.

As you grew up and tried to do some of the creative endeavors that were driven by your soul, your parent probably did not support you because they did not want you to leave them or stop taking care of their emotional needs or they just saw no harm in controlling you.  As narcissistic parents with no conscience or guilt, it was easy for them to manipulate you, so they did.  The pain of your original trauma at the age of 5 or 6 would come up for you each time you tried to express your true self and these outbursts of emotion may have been shamed and punished by your parent and made you give up each time.  This is the beginning of the post traumatic stress that still plagues you today. ” Why do I over-react in these explosive ways”, you may have asked yourself.  This is why.  Your true self and all your repressed feelings and desires from childhood still want badly to be heard and understood and validated and “loved”.  Your narcissistic parent was not capable of giving you this love and still is not and never will be.  Your love needs are still unmet.  You searched for love from others but sometimes, because parts of you are still undeveloped and childlike, you end up being attracted to people who seem wonderful and charming at first but then turn out to be needy and manipulative and unable to comfort you when you need it most–just like your N parent.

4. Know that there is hope and you can heal.

So what is a highly sensitive person with an N parent to do?  You can heal and learn to love yourself and slowly unblock all those creative parts of yourself that never got a chance to be expressed.  You can learn to trust your self and your gifts of emotional intelligence and intuition that were seemingly robbed from you and misused and abused.  You can gain clarity amidst all the confusion, and hope amidst all the despair.  You can learn that it is okay for you to say no to other people’s demands and put yourself first.  You need to learn about extreme “self- care” (Cheryl Richardson–author of the book Life Makeovers) and you need a journal to pour into all the feelings from your deepest heart.  You need support from like-minded, highly sensitive, safe people to share the pain and grief from the loss of a childhood that feels as if it was taken away from you.  All your desires and free impulses were repressed so that you could survive with an illusion that your parent’s needs were more important than your own.  But surviving was not really living your life.  Surviving is not good enough.  Your survival skills just cause you trouble because they are not driven by your heart, they are driven by a needy inner child trying to please a parent that felt unpleasable and without remorse about what they did to you.

5. Know that the answers are inside of you and support is available.

You need to take a new direction.  A direction into your own soul.  You need to excavate the desires of a child who never had a say in the development of his/her own life!  Write it out!  Talk it out! Cry it out!  Shout it out!  You can do this in a journal that is meant for your eyes only.  Or you can find a counselor or coach who does inner child healing therapy.  It’s important to find support somewhere so you can find your true voice and express it.  There are HSP meet-up groups in larger cities.  You might also look into Unitarian churches or Unity churches to meet people of a spiritual nature who are not necessarily “religious”.

6. Know that no contact with a malignant narcissistic parent is not just recommended so that you can get the time you need to heal, it is vital.

One of the first steps into this new direction of healing for yourself is ending the old song and dance and unhealthy relationship that you have with your narcissistic parent.  If you’ve tried everything else and you are still miserable, that means setting boundaries on contact is an important step so that you can heal and move on with the life that you always deserved.  The fact that you understand the words Malignant Narcissistic is crucial here.  We are not talking about a parent that is capable of being remorseful about your childhood and trying to change, we are talking about a parent who blames you every time the relationship isn’t going their way–they resent the loss of control over your life that they always had. Control is not love. It may be time to cut off contact so you can finally heal.  You do not owe them another ounce of your precious energy.  You owe it to yourself to stay away from them as you heal, because being around them at all always takes a toll on you,  a toll that is much heavier and destructive and stressful and toxic to you than you may realize.

7.  Know that the GUILT is relieved by acknowledging the anger and hatred you felt as a child that you were forced to repress.

The guilt of setting boundaries in your relationship with your Narcissistic (N) parent will be strong.  Ignore it because it is not your guilt. It is guilt induced from elsewhere that you internalized since you were a tiny child.  That has affected your freedom as a gifted child to become your own wonderful self!  It may feel as if they took that from you and gave you guilt, shame, and fear in its place.  So what do you do with the guilt you feel when stepping out on your own to become the person with freedom to do whatever you want with your life?  HSPs tend to feel guilt for feeling anger–allow yourself to feel angry about it!  Righteous anger is a healthy emotion that you were not “allowed” to express to them–but it is important that you release this anger in harmless ways (not to the parent who abused you) .  Acknowledge it, tell a safe person, or write it out in a journal (for your eyes only) in detail the anger you feel for all that you lost.  Because this rage inside that comes out sometimes in your life at the wrong people has an origin that needs to be acknowledged and let go of.  You have a right to acknowledge this repressed anger for the traumas that happened to you as a child–it was too painful for a child to survive this kind of excruciating, unbearable emotional pain of hating your parents when you needed them so desperately.  So the trauma is repressed and the truth of what happened to you needs to be released so that you can finally be free. Punching a mattress with your fist and/or screaming into several pillows for as long as you need to is helpful to release the rage you have kept inside all these years.  It helps to have a supportive and safe person present to validate your feelings as you release them. Do not hold onto this intense anger–release it and imagine this energy going away from you forever.  (Forgiveness is important but not until all the layers of repressed anger are worked through and this takes time and patience with yourself–do not attempt to forgive too soon or you may get stuck in a guilt about not being able to forgive cycle.)

8. Know that grieving the loss of your childhood is part of the healing process.

Often after the release of anger you will begin to feel all the hurt and pain of not being truly loved as you deserved. Letting this grief out and releasing this is so important as well in the healing process of your wounded soul. (Allow yourself to cry as needed–let your inner child’s repressed pain finally be acknowledged and allowed to cry). It helps so much to talk to another empathic human to feel fully validated, comforted, or hold your hand through this grieving process–but if there is no one possible then you can write this pain out and you may even surprise yourself by the poetry that pours out of you.  (No rules when you write–just let it pour out).  These words of your soul will always surprise you– you may discover a richness and deep inner life inside of you that you never knew existed.  Because it was hiding in fear all this time–a very real fear–fear of your parent’s judgemental rejection and abandonment of your budding wise self that needed love.

9.  Know that it is okay for you to be FREE of them and put yourself first so you can heal.

It is a free country (I am writing this in the USA).  You are a free person to do as you wish. Freedom is your birthright. And no one knows the pain that a narcissistic parent can do to the soul of a highly sensitive child except those who have experienced it.  So stop waiting for approval from the rest of society.  You may need to stop all contact with the harmful, negative, malignant narcissistic parent in your life forever and always if that is how long it takes for you to feel safe and have inner peace. You do not even need to attend their funeral if that is something that worries you. (You can send them peace and love from afar later when you are ready if this worries you–even if they pass on you can send love to them in heaven …if you are open to spirituality and this belief.)  It is okay to protect yourself from all the negative energy and judgements of others at family gatherings if you are feeling this will happen. (This all depends upon your own personal spiritual beliefs–I personally now believe our souls live for eternity and those who truly love and support you will be there in heaven and watch over you in spirit–they will understand your reasons for staying away.  I believe you don’t need to go to a funeral to say goodbye or to appease family members who don’t support you either. This is something that must feel right to you and your own personal spiritual beliefs)  And to support you further, I just happened to hear on the radio today, a Christian counselor gently reminding someone that  “Honor thy father and mother” DOES NOT APPLY when they are emotionally abusive (diminishing in any way) and use fear to control you. Fear is the opposite of love.  It is a deal breaker and they are no longer honorable parents as long as they do not honor your feelings and use fear to intimidate or diminish you.  God wants for you to protect yourself and go towards love in your life and away from those who induce fear until you feel strong and safe to stand up for yourself and your feelings.  I agree with this.  Loving parents want you to feel safe and loved–N parents do not care if you feel safe and loved, they want you to obey or else.  Please get yourself safe and free to heal and get strong.

10. Know that Narcissistic people are known as “Crazymakers” for a good reason.

If you have malignant narcissistic parents, they are not going to change and they are not going to stop trying to make you wrong.  You are not wrong for putting your life and your dreams first for a change.  This is your time.  This is your life.  This is your time for healing and dreaming and learning to love yourself as God/The Universe has always wanted for you.  Malignant Narcissism is mental illness.  It’s a severe problem and insidious in nature because they appear to fit in with other people and have friends and thrive and look fine on the outside. They may even be religious and say they are devoted to God but it is not true.  It is just words. They don’t love themselves so they can’t love you. They may even appear to change and will be on their good behavior around your children but be on guard to not believe it.  They may even turn your kids against you in an instant if they are able so beware.  There’s a deeply hidden self-hatred there underneath in a malignant narcissist and a desire to control others with no remorse and no desire to change which is a disconnected self-protection from emotional pain–a complete separation from their soul’s true essence.  That’s enough knowledge for you to know you need to get you and your children safe with safe boundaries in place.

11.  Know that highly sensitive people absorb the negative energy of others. Time alone and the beauty of nature can help recharge your positive energy.

Malignant narcissists can be like energy vampires sucking the good energy out of you and replacing it with all their unconscious negative feelings about themselves.  It may feel as if you feed them, so to speak, and they take it and feel better about themselves. And they constantly want more, not seeing or caring how it is hurting you.  Only you can stop feeding their endless need for your supply of positive energy. This is what it means to develop healthy boundaries.  It is your very essence, your “gift” that they are taking–your ability to give light and love to others.  You must protect this gift. It is meant for you and for those who are also of light and love so that we can build each other up and help each other so that all of our dreams can come true and we can improve life on our planet.  These dreams and desires that you have deep inside are the inner voice that connects you to God/The Universe and to the light that feeds all of us who are connected to our true essence (HSPs).  It is the LOVE that you never got from your N parents that you begin to feel has been inside of you all along.  As you begin to connect with your real feelings and your vitality you connect with God and the love and bliss that was there innately in our true selves.  Love exists and you can give it to yourselves when you realize you were loved all along and were born with this love to give to others who don’t exploit you.

12.  Know that you can rescue yourself!  No-one can do it for you.

Take the first steps and start on a path of healing today.  Be strong and stay away from your malignant narcissistic parent while you heal and anyone who judges you for doing so.  You don’t need to explain it to anyone. (Most likely you have hidden abandonment wounds that need addressed because you get triggered easily and you are very hard on yourself about that.) Most highly sensitive people will understand without explanation.  They are out there–don’t give up! I am proud to be a highly sensitive person and now as a life coach of inner child healing I shine my light brightly to help other sensitive souls out of the dark.  You have a light inside of you that has just been hiding in fear.  Everything is going to be all right now as the truth of who you are comes to light. Please take extremely good care of yourself so your highly sensitive soul can shine and inspire others. I hope these tips have been helpful to you.  I care so much and I understand.

With much comfort and Love and Light as you heal,

Roxanne 😍✌️🙏😇💖✨

Update! Angel Channeling Success, Inner Child Healing, and a Vacation!

Hi Everyone! I’m happy to say my channeling from last week’s post that I put on YouTube is doing so well!–as of now I have over 2600 views, 260 likes and lots of positive, grateful comments on the Higher Self Channel. I had no idea it would do so well! Here’s the link to see it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpKhVU5Etos

This is bringing people back to MY YouTube Channel and I’m getting new subscribers and it’s helping my outreach to help others through my coaching and through my songs. Yay! With all the excitement, I then caught a bad cold on Friday. I hadn’t come down with a virus like this in years–I like to believe it happened because I’m clearing out the old from my body that no longer fits and I have shifted into a higher vibration–I hope! 😇. This is what my inner guidance is saying 😍✨ so I’m inclined to believe it. 😃 It’s called a “healing crisis”–google it if you want to learn more.

healing-crisis

I also had to process some emotional pain that got triggered when I was feeling so sick, miserable and alone, and unable to think, or do any work–it triggered me back to my abandonment wound from early childhood and I started spiraling with hopelessness feelings and irrational thoughts like “I will never be well again”–a child believe’s this when they have no comfort and no-one to explain what is happening and that they are going to be okay.

heal the inner child

This wisdom came to me when I allowed myself to examine what messages my inner critic was saying when I was feeling the worst.  With this delving inward, I had an AHA moment!– for the first time when ill, I had clarity of exactly where that feeling came from and I was able to feel it and comfort myself through it–simultaneously I felt myself finally healing from the virus as I felt it lift after a short but intense crying spell about the original neglect and simultaneously comforting myself through it–this was an emotional healing breakthrough! I let the little child in me cry about the original painful event that had been repressed.  I felt so good after that cry–I was …reconnected to my truth–to my true higher self.

That was yesterday.  Today, when I woke up, I felt like Yay my brain is working again, I feel excited and stronger than ever, and I’m getting ready for a vacation in 4 days with my husband.

Palm tree beach

I’ll be back here writing again after I get back from the Bahamas (my first time there ever)! 😁 .

I hope by sharing these things I go through, it will help you the next time you get triggered to a stuck feeling. Write about it and decipher it back to it’s roots and let the inner child ( or past life YOU) cry about it to release this truth that has been repressed.  Crying is part of the healing–Comforting yourself is the crucial 2nd part of the emotional healing process–you know you would comfort a crying child who is ill (or abused) and needs to be held and reassured–of course you would so give this to yourself!!  You can be your own healer!!

157526-Deepak-Chopra-Quote-Any-cell-tissue-or-organ-is-capable-of-crying

If you resonate with this, then this is a good time to start an emotional healing journal today if you have not already.  Think of it as writing out a private conversation with your best loving friend, your higher self, who loves you unconditionally!

Journaling with tea

It’s so healing!! More on this on another post! Have a wonderful couple of weeks, Everyone!!  Sending all of you hugs, comfort, compassion, and deep understanding.

With Love, Light, and Gratefulness,

Roxanne 😇💖✨

Channeled Angel Message – (Revised Voice Version For Listening) and Blog Updates

Hi Everyone! It’s a new and improved version!–I changed my new video of the Channeled Angel Message (see last post for the original video) and added MY VOICE reading it, along with the scroll.  I turned the music down too.  Many people like to just listen to these YouTube videos rather than read them so I hope it is more appealing to more people now and makes the message more accessible and pleasant to receive. Below is the new version. Enjoy!

This is a work in progress and I appreciate any feedback on anything on this video you’d like changed. My voice will improve too as I get used to reading these–I used the very first take so it’s not a perfect match up to the scroll–let me know if it is bothersome or good enough!  Thanks!

Also, this seems like a good time to announce some other changes.  I have rewritten several key pages on this blog now–some were too long and definitely outdated. So if you haven’t already, please check out the new About Me page, the new About This Blog page,  the new Home page, and the new Original Home Page From 2012,.

Also, I am aware that the Theme of this blog is a little outdated as well (the theme is the look and design of it, including the width of the post pages–new themes have a wider overall set-up in many cases).  I like this one but Please let me know if you think I would appeal to more readers if I changed the Theme of this blog …or are you happy with the way it is? Please be candid about big changes or small changes you would like to see. Thank you so much for all of you who are reading here today!! I’d love your feedback! 😊

 

With love and light,

and have a good night!

Roxanne 😇💖✨

 

Comfort From Above–A Channeled Angel Message

Hello everyone!  I just completed making a video of my very first Channeled Angel Message. This is kind of an experiment for me–I’m not sure if this is the format I’ll be using for all future videos of this sort but it was very fun putting it together.  My plan is to share these on my YouTube Channel for that audience but I thought I’d share it here first.  The entire message is also below this video.

 

 

Channeled Angel Message 1-12-19

“Dear Ones, You are so loved.  If you only knew the brilliance of your own light—the perfection of your being.  Your soul has a purpose that may be unknown to you at this time but if you take the time to listen to your heart and write out your soul’s desire, you will begin to know yourself. As you love, nurture, and comfort yourself you will heal those deep layers of pain that are keeping you from stepping into your wholeness and vitality to be all that you can be. 

We are with you, Dear Ones, shining light and comfort down on you on those times you feel most alone and afraid.  If you can believe in love from above and open to receive our comfort it will help you so much.  As light workers you chose to come onto earth at this time as co-creators with us the Angels who are always hovering near you.  Your compassionate ways may seem unappreciated by those around you but if you can remember and write and share with others who are open to such spiritual messages, you’ll be spreading hope in ways you can’t imagine.

No-one else is exactly like you but many, who are on similar journeys and just beginning, will so benefit from your wisdom.  Keep writing.  Keep creating from the joy in your heart and share it with others without fear.  The fear of persecution from others is old and we reassure you that the benefits will far exceed any backlash you receive.  If you are afraid to be different well, My Dear, you already are and it is what it is for a good reason.  Goodness and light exudes from you in a way that affects others in a positive way whether it’s positive feelings being around you or pushing their repressed pain up to the light in an explosive way.  This is not for you to decipher or feel responsible for but just know healing is happening. 

If you get negative energy back from anyone know it is not about you and it is just a projection of this inner unconscious unlooked-that world. All pain needs to be looked at in order to heal and be released. This is a role that is not for the faint of heart. You are not faint of heart. You are all heart and you are strong enough for this role. By changing the way you view criticisms of you, you can change your life.  Criticisms of you are actually criticisms of the person criticizing you—their own self-judgments projected outward. 

How to handle this?  Smile with your inner knowing of the real truth. Either walk away or show them compassion if you are in a strong place.  Let the negativity flow through you and not stick.  Transmute it into Mother Earth or up to Heaven it doesn’t matter keep the energy moving flowing and healed and dissolved by love. 

Shining your light really is healing. Perhaps you’ve encountered people drawn to you lately and even asking for a hug from you while others seem to treat you as if you are invisible. They actually make themselves invisible from their own true essence—a true and complete disconnect and so you are feeling their invisibility and self-loathing.  Know it’s not yours. The work of knowing the voice of your inner critic is so helpful.  Yes, you know this. 

But you didn’t know your inner critic is alive in you because you absorbed the inner critic of those around you in your foundational childhood years and you internalized it and believed it.  Now you know better.  You can give yourself the love you never received and deserved.  Yes every child deserves love and care and to be uplifted to see their gifts and potential.  You can re-frame, re-program, re-parent, and re-live the childhood you never had—Regain the childlike trust you missed out on.  Live now with more childlike exuberance, joy, and curiosity and express yourself without fear. 

Know your childlike exuberance is much needed on the planet as you express it without fear of ridicule and shame.  Yes, you may have been shamed for shining your light as a child but now you see their fear, their shame that they felt safe to put on you.  Only because of your light, My Dear Earthbound Angels, only because of your light.

Archangel Muriel here,

sending you hugs and love and comfort so deep you feel it down to your toes.

We angels are just a thought away

Just open to us and get out of the way

To receive our message especially for you

So you can heal and heal others too.

Until we meet again,

Muriel”

If you are interested in scheduling private sessions for Akashic Record Readings, or Angel Readings, Distance Reiki or Life Coaching sessions please email me at truevoicelifecoach@ymail.com.

Please give me feedback about the video. Was it too fast or too slow? Was the music annoying or not your cup of tea? Any tips to change how I present these channelings to the people who enjoy them would be very helpful.

With love and light,

Roxanne 😇

New Song Of Hope and Healing–For Inner Child Healing-Lifting the Wet Blanket

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How To Soothe My Soul

By Roxanne Smith

January 14, 2019

Lyrics:

Pain in my heart. Follow it through.

What is this all about. Is it me or you?

I want to run away. …want to be left alone.

Am I the only one… who wants to stay in bed

… and write a song! 😀 lol

 

Okay here’s the healing part:  Pain has a voice.

It’s just a messenger. I have a choice.

I can look at it… and see where it’s from.

I can love the one who was made wrong.

 

Chorus:

And if I realize my innocence

My intentions were good….

It’s not my fault and

I did what I thought I should.

 

Everyone needs love. Give yourself a break.

Imagine the little boy or girl whose heart still aches.

They long for the words “It’s gonna be okay,

I will always be here for you … every single day.”

 

Chorus:

And if I realize my innocence

My intentions were good….

It’s not my fault and

I did what I thought I should.

 

Take it all away and leave the LOVE

Take the doubt and leave comfort from above

Lift me up. Make me whole.

No more feeling like a fool.

I am learning how to soothe my soul.

I am learning how to soothe my soul.

I am learning how to soothe my soul. ( last time slow)

Original song © 2019 Roxanne Smith

It’s been 6 months since I’ve written a new Song of Hope and Healing.  Yay! My creativity is really flowing right now in every area–blogging, music, channeled messages, and intuitive guidance for myself and others. I always feel immediately better when I stop and write a song like this when I’m feeling some negativity that seems to come from out of the blue.  And the melody that flowed out is extra good with this one.  I hope to have a video of me singing and playing guitar with it soon (or at least audio) and I will post it here as well as on my YouTube channel.

I wrote this song a week ago but it mirrored what I was feeling today. Today, I’ve got so many wonderful creative ideas but I also feel like I am clearing out a lot of root chakra debris and it’s sometimes heavy–like a wet blanket.

wet-blanket

That makes sense because as a highly sensitive child I absorbed and believed those around me who were sometimes “wet blankets on the hopes and dreams of others”.  I internalized the negativity and blamed myself as a child.  Now I can visually lift off the wet blanket of negativity that was never mine and be restored to my true nature of positivity and creative hopefulness! You can too! I hope my words have been helpful to you.  Have a great day!!

rise above negativity cloud

With love and light,

Roxanne 😇🎶💖✨

The Raw Truth! You Are Strong Enough Now!

like the End of world is a new beginning

Hello Everyone!  It’s January 2nd!  Feels like a Monday but it’s Wednesday.  Feels like a brand spankin’ new beginning!  And it is! I’m fired up!–in a positive-anger, fed up, determined sort of way!  I wasn’t fired up when I first woke up–being my day off, I woke up with HUGE childhood pain.  Bigger than ever!  In my face!–heart, solar plexus, every darn chakra really! The kind of childhood pain where you can’t function–you are just a tiny abandoned toddler feeling completely in despair and giving up in order to survive. I’m like WTF! Excuse my language but like I said I am fired up and want to share the raw truth lol!

I had been so hopeful about the new year and Oh boy what a way to start out!  I learned a long time ago how to nurture myself instead of spiral with negative feelings so I pulled out my journal to write. I couldn’t even write much because I’m still so exhausted from the holidays and from being an empath and all that goes with that (all that is for another post).  I realized my eyes were terribly, unusually sore!  I sleep in my contacts and have to put new contacts in every 6 days–I take one day per week and give my eyes a rest.  I couldn’t even get my contacts out!–my eyes were too sore to remove them but I had to try. I thought “okay, I’m grateful I have the day off to heal–just take my contacts out ( a day early which is weird) and give my eyes a rest …Give my body, mind, and soul a rest.”

Even though I have a gazillion things on my list to-do today that I didn’t get done over the holidays, I told myself I am going to listen to my body and weary eyes and give my eyes and body a rest.  I got my contacts out and then I spontaneously just …cried.  I cried HARD, deep hard crying from the core of my being!  Not despairing or feeling sorry for myself but just FREEDOM to cry because like “I was never allowed to cry as a child and damn it today I’m gonna do whatever the hell I want–I’m a friggin’ adult with a day off to recharge and if I feel like crying all day then I’ll do that because I can!–that kind of crying!! Lol.

It lasted only for a few minutes and it was profound–I felt a ton better and had unusual clarity sooner than usual ( I had cried more and longer over the holidays healing some wounds that had been triggered but this was different).  This came with clarity!  This came with a powerful glimpse of …something.

When I took my contacts out I had this sorry-for-myself feeling that I need to wear contacts for being far-sighted–like “Geez, I can’t even see anymore, man, I am getting old.  Then I had this flash of being BLIND!–of going blind and the despair of the loss of my sight caused me to feel, for an instant, like I wouldn’t want to LIVE anymore if that happened!  It was a split second “gift” and then I was instantly so grateful for my eyesight and the clarity of “Oh wow, things could be so much worse!  Thank God I have my sight–I can rest and recharge and heal my eyes when so many people have it worse than I do.”  I was reminded of all the chronic pain I used to have at times and thankfully I no longer have–I had forgotten how I had promised myself, if and when I heal from this chronic pain, I will never take my health or life for granted.

Okay, you get where I am going here … but that was just the start of it!  I got some clarity and a reminder of my true purpose of helping others because of what I have overcome.  So let’s get right down to the raw truth!  Yeah I want to help others because for what ever reason I CAN!  The childhood pain staring me in the face this morning was my abandonment wound from my childhood.  As if I was re-experiencing it–it was impossible to deny–I was right back there–age 1 1/2 in a hospital crib (cage) with no parents or loved ones to comfort me for days on end. It was then that I stopped trusting the Universe that I’d be okay.  I experienced terror for days at the fragile age of attachment and it never got healed.  It explains so much! And I am strong enough, for the first time, to feel all of it now!!

In my wisdom and coaching and successes in life there has always been this limit that I’ve had.  Don’t criticize me too much, don’t blame me, don’t leave me, don’t hurt me because oh the bottom may fall out and cause me to feel all that I cannot bear to feel because–it killed me!  By age 5 the “too talkative singing and dancing child” finally gave up. Rejected again, I hid in a closet, my soul went dormant–the trauma was repressed–the pain numbed out with beliefs and illusions and bargains only a tiny child can make.  ” I am not safe alone–I must please others to be taken care of–I am not worthy of love as I am, so I must conform to get the love I need to survive–life is painful and scary alone–I need others to take care of me–I promise to be obedient if you will just be kind to me–maybe if I’m perfect then you will love me etc.”

Sure successes and experiences in later life healed some of these beliefs, but the deepest ones are often buried deep with the deepest of the pain.  It is pure rage!  I hated them for not having the wisdom to know how much they were injuring my trust in “life”!  My soul knew it was cruel to abandon a child–how could they not KNOW the damage they are doing!!  I (my highly evolved compassionate soul) would never cause such pain in such a tiny helpless being whose cries were begging for love but repeatedly ignored.

I’ll jump to the end here (because I could write WAY too much on this subject right now lol).  With my soul’s spiritual awakening and unquenchable thirst for knowledge about the highest truth in the Universe, I know now that I CHOSE for this to happen to me! (It was validated by years ago reading the book, Journey of Souls–Case Studies of Life Between Lives By Michael Newton, Ph.D.)

I know that sounds crazy,  why in the world would any soul choose to have a horrific trauma happen to them right at the beginning of their soul’s incarnation–a trauma so terrifying to a sensitive soul that it completely breaks them–makes them into a compliant, obedient, spineless shell of a person with no access to their gifts, their light, their energy, and no ability to relax and have fun and trust that life is a kind and loving place to just BE.  Yep I chose it! I also chose a lot of other events and people in my life that would slowly open me back up to trusting life and my feelings and my vitality again.

My higher self, while in heaven, before I incarnated, along with the knowledge that I would have free will to choose how these things played out I chose many things to evolve as a soul.  I chose an adult friend of the family to buy me a journal at age 14 so I could start writing about my feelings in self discovery–the very beginning of finding my voice.  I chose relationships that would break me open to find my own strength and desire to go to college.  I chose an education in child and family services to educate myself on what a child needs to be emotionally healthy in each and every developmental stage. I chose a significant other in life who experienced a similar plight  in childhood so he could empathize but had a tougher resolve and a warrior spirit to go out into the rat race and pay the bills so I could raise our 2 gifted children.  I chose being a stay-at-home mom so I could re-experience life through my children’s eyes and heal my inner child in the process.  Since my soul/higher self was a gifted writer and singer (my dream since before age 5), I chose circumstances that allowed me time alone to write about my feelings and healing journey and read self-help books on how to heal the blocks to my own creativity and become the singer-songwriter I was meant to ultimately become.

I believe I chose it all so I could write songs and poetry about overcoming deep pain from childhood and shine my light of compassion on other souls who have had a similar plight.  I even chose for my closest relationships to trigger me so that I can heal any remnants of my dormant pain and step into my full power as a woman.  This is where I am at now!

It’s all in how you look at it.  I could totally be resentful and be saying to myself, “Oh my lord what now!” or I can say I trust my higher self knew that I am strong enough for all that is happening to me!  I am a nurturer and comforter by nature so damn it I am going to nurture and comfort the heck out of myself right now more than ever!!  That’s easier said than done when all you feel is terror and as if you are being abandoned!  Meanwhile I’m having to step out of my comfort zone in my life and also face and heal my deepest abandonment wound pain.

More things I have chosen that helped me:  I chose to have such debilitating food allergies and ill-health and chronic fatigue in my 30s that I had to discover a pretty extreme anti-inflammatory diet that made me feel like a new person energy-wise.  I stuck to it out of necessity and now at the wise old age of 57, I look and feel like I am 38.  Which is such a blessing because I am just getting started with my career as a singer-songwriter and life coach/spiritual counselor/ and akashic record reader. I’m more physically fit than ever and my adrenal fatigue issues are almost completely resolved.

There’s much more I could tell you about what I chose but I want to get to my real point of writing this post.  And it is this:  My heart breaks for those highly sensitive souls out there who have chosen to incarnate here at this time on earth and feel completely broken from those early years in life.  Perhaps they are here to help the planet with their light and compassion as well but don’t have the resources or time to get the healing they need, the counseling, schooling, or there are no kind and gentle souls around them to validate them as empaths, see their giftedness as I do.  They may have no-one to understand that they are working at a job that is way beneath their abilities and intelligence but it is all they can handle due to the unresolved childhood pain that leaves them re-traumatized–with each thing in life that leaves them feeling like crawling back under the rock of safety in their small apartments, or small jobs, or small dreams. I have felt this way too!

Somehow in all my reading and time alone, I realized I had the gift of intuition and I learned how to hone it in to my benefit–I learned to listen to my own inner guidance by getting out of my head and into my heart with my special techniques of automatic writing.  Eventually, by learning to tune in the helpful guidance from my spirit guide and angels,  and the higher realms of the Akashic Records, I heard myself being guided to ask my significant other in my life, “Please just hold me, I need to be held.  I was not held and loved enough as a child and being held feels really healing to me.” This has been powerful for me and it works!

Sometimes when your partner, who is very different from you, says something that just makes you feel way too angry and rightfully rejecting, it can be so helpful to just realize you wouldn’t be so angry if you had been held and comforted every time you needed it as a child.  So instead of pushing your partner away with anger and tear-filled victimized cries of “how can you be so insensitive when you know more than anyone how sensitive I am” (am I right?! lol)–Instead you can calmly say, perhaps after walking away and cooling off, come back and say “I feel really triggered by what you said because of my childhood.  Could you please just hold me and let me cry–I wasn’t held enough or allowed to cry as a child and that would be really healing for me.”  The divine masculine often loves just being given something helpful to do!  This is often a win-win for both partners. It is powerfully healing!

But those time when you can’t be held by someone else, we still have times when our unbearable pain comes up! (either from this childhood or our past lives where we were persecuted for being “different” because our lights were shining too brightly). Those times are when perhaps this blog can help you feel like you are not alone and that is why I am writing about this raw content today.  We highly sensitive souls all need deep connection and understanding–being seen and validated has made all the difference in my life. I feel this is part of my gift to the planet–to create a safe haven where gifted sensitives who feel downtrodden can feel seen and uplifted to the beautiful, shining lights that they are. You are so special.  You are just wounded and those wounds can heal. But first you must bring them to the light–up to the surface where they can be seen.  Perhaps if things are really hard right now, your higher self planned for you to be faced with the truth of your childhood pain so you can finally heal it!  It will never be healed if you keep it all so deeply buried and protected. You are strong enough to look at it now!  Finally!  You can allow the unbearable pain to be looked at and voiced and released. Your powerful soul has been waiting patiently for your courage to admit how badly you were wounded.  It may have been worse than you thought.  I know, for me, it was much worse than I thought it was, but now it’s all been seen and it is so FREEING!

Please leave a comment if you relate to the subject here today.  Your voice will help others who are not yet ready to speak about their pain.  I’ll be writing about more raw truth about childhood pain!  Yeah I’m fired up like the Phoenix rising from the ashes–determined to be my highest self and overcome any fears that stand in the way of my dreams and my true purpose!  I love connecting with all of you who read or follow this blog!  You make the world a better place and give me hope to keep sharing my healing journey!

Sending hugs and comforting wishes to all who are on a healing journey,

Roxanne 😇🎶💖✨

 

Illuminated–Uplifted from the Dark

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Hello everyone!  I’ve been wanting to write here again and I get so many ideas of what I want to share. And when I went looking for something else, I stumbled upon this poem in a file on my computer.  Thank goodness it had the date on it because I did not remember it.  But it was written when this blog was just taking off with success in 2010 with many commenters and now things are taking off for me in a different way–with the performing and the coaching and blogging all coming together with my True Voice and True Purpose …and with such clarity and hopes of abundance–and so yes, darkness and unsupportive energies come out of the blue yet again!  So it seems timely to share it now. I hope it uplifts and illuminates you as finding it has done for me. I believe in you! You can do it!

Peace and Love, ✌️💖✨

Roxanne 😇

Illuminated

By Roxanne Smith, June 25, 2010

How could this be?  So much success

When part of me was so upset

I just kept on with my intent

Wanting to live with no regret

God does provide—his love is there

You can hide and not say a prayer

But love exists—It’s all around

Let it in and you’ll be found

Just like me you’ll be all right

I once was lost but I found my sight

Believe in God because He is Love

And we all came from up above

We are all one—strange but it’s true

If you believe you’ll make it through

Not only that you will feel bliss

Sorrow leaves and despair will miss

And hope returns with every prayer

When you believe you send a flare

And God does see and feel your pain

And He will comfort your disdain

You must reach out into the dark

He will be there amid the sparks

The sparks of light will guide you home

To your true self where you’re not alone

When you combine with your true self

You reconnect with God himself

It is pure love and fear is gone

And you can know your pain is done

And then you can reach out to heal

other souls who cannot feel

Those who are numb from life’s events

Need your light to circumvent

And when you help others to heal

Then love inside you feels so real

And you can keep on spreading love

And it keeps coming from above

This endless loop of sharing hope

Illuminating in it’s scope

So much joy inside my heart

I have learned right from the start

That God was there and ‘ere shall be

‘cause our souls live for eternity

Now I was never big on church

But I was always on the search

For the meaning of this life

And now I know—to end the strife

And change my thoughts to thoughts of love

And I’m loved from up above

And all this pain can be released

Til it’s all gone and I have peace

I’m almost there just some small doubts

I chase them away with kicks and shouts

Writing out anger when I’m wronged

Continues to make me strong

So much joy inside my heart

People of light have helped me start

To be sure of dreams a lark

And to trust those of light–not dark

People of dark I do not do

But I can let their words flow through

Their words of evil cannot hurt

When it flows past and into dirt

You can rise above it all

And you don’t need to make them fall

They will fall when they can’t rise

Into heaven when they despise

There is no hell but only time

Time without God…they must decide

And open up to feel his light

He loves us all—free will’s a right

And in between this life and next

They will decide to hate or rest

So do not fear those with mean gloves

Just rise above and send them love

So to you and me and all of light

Hand in hand we will take flight

With light and love there’s peace from fright

And everything will be all right!

Original Poem © 2010 Roxanne Smith 

Poem: EMERGING WITH POETIC NEWS–About Healing Childhood Wounds

Emerging With Poetic News

By Roxanne E. Smith

October 1, 2018

Painful layers coming up. Tortured soul now wise enough.

Stronger now to see the truth.  Allow my heart to show the proof.

No wonder sometimes feel alone.  Who can understand this drone?

I can see it, but who else?  Few dive as deep into the self.

Emerging with poetic news to explain the latest cruise

That ventured deep inside my heart to purge and cleanse to a brand new start.

I feel the urge to start anew.  Old mask feels odd and fits askew.

Anxiety had gone away but visiting now it’s back today.

Fear from old, not about the present.  Hurry and leave, you are unpleasant.

I can comfort the child you hurt. Anxiety you are so absurd—

If I knew then what I know now I’d ground myself and calm it! Wow!

—I know how to when I “write” but when I “think” I lose all sight.

To think is to stay stuck in fright—to write accesses hope and light.

So write I must and clear it out.  The truth is LOVE and it heals all doubt.

Sure that I will then succeed as I would’ve done with love as seeds.

Fertile growth of childhood soul instead of hurt from heartless roles.

We all wear masks to protect the child—inside of us afraid, meek, and mild.

The bully’s gone you can come out.  Love is God and Joy can shout.

It’s okay to loudly dance and sing at newfound circumstance.

You are love and past was wrong but you are right so sing a song.

Release all doubt and pain not yours and let in truth and love in store.

Instantly you can check in and fill yourself with heart heaven.

By knowing love is under the pain, let it go and fill it up again.

My heart hurts but yearns for love. Replace all pain with bliss from above.

Writing helps me know the truth. If you weren’t loved then love is proof.

Now you’re loved and you are the same just now away from shame and blame.

Toxic talk does harm to kids but they then grow stronger hearts to rid…

They rid themselves of negativity and shine and thrive compassionately.

And go where kindness is so real and life is pure and peace does heal.

Get time alone with heartfelt word—injustice melts and love endures.

Replenish just by plugging in to your higher self and grow within.

More real you with tougher resolve—the outcome as your soul evolves.

Here on earth to shine your light with wisdom that helps others’ plights.

We all have this ability—some know it more—Oh lucky me.

My life plan helped me enough to encounter those who’d wake me up.

Awake I am and grateful yes to heal my soul from heart oppressed.

Freedom beckons every soul to love themselves and heal to whole.

Write to heal and feel relief.  You deserve to rest with peace.

And you’ll grow stronger you will see.  Sending Love to You, from Me. 😀

Original Poem © 2018 Roxanne Smith

This is the poem that I wrote a few weeks ago. It talks about how writing helps me to access a wisdom that comforts and heals me to my vibrant self again. This poem was such a valuable reminder–Sometime I forget to journal when I get stuck but writing out my most vulnerable feelings helps me every time!

This poem flowed out of me as is in cursive longhand–with just a few minor grammatical changes. I feel it is a combination of my own creative process combined with channeling my Higher Self/divine inner wisdom. It is never my intention to ever share it when I am writing these kinds of poems. After each time I write my poems and healing songs, I feel like I’ve healed a layer of repressed childhood pain that needed to be acknowledged and released.  I’m sharing this one now with this blog community with the hope that it helps you heal too. I encourage you to try writing this way too–give it a try in a journal for your eyes only–it’s important that you know it’s only for your own healing to help you dive deep and discover feelings you didn’t know you had. (The Artist’s Way book by Julia Cameron is a wonderful guidebook on how to journal to unblock yourself creatively and find your voice.)

Thank you to those who have emailed me to tell me that my poems have changed their lives and that they print out and read their favorite ones every day to lift themselves up.  It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve written one of these healing poems.  I’ll be adding it and a few others to the Healing Writings Page.  I’ll be adding new song lyrics to this page also–they won’t be new Posts so you won’t get email notifications, they will just be new Pages on the blog so I will mark them with “NEW” in red so you can check them out. Wishing you comfort, healing, inner peace, and a feeling of safety to be YOU!

With Love and Light,

Roxanne ♥ XOXOXO

 

 

Part 3 (Final) of Heart To Heart Update

Hello everyone! If you’ve been feeling extra tired, or extra emotional, or stuck, or triggered, I believe the full moon todayfull harvest moon is causing energies that are helping us to clear out some deep unhealed layers of childhood pain.  I personally have been very tired and journaling a lot to work through heavy, dark feelings of self-doubt and unworthiness — which hasn’t been easy.  Some of my best songs and poems arise at times like these and I’ll be sharing them here hopefully soon to help anyone who resonates and would like to feel hopeful about their emotional state.  The poem I wrote on Oct. 1 that I mentioned in my last post will be shared in my next post–I read it again today and it was helpful in moving out the stuck emotions I felt today so I plan to share that in the coming few days.

Now, on with Part 3!–Here’s the last part of my heart to heart series to update everyone on what I’ve been doing while I was on a break from writing regularly on this blog. This post is a long one–future posts will be much shorter for easier reading I promise!

Continuing with sharing the story of my journey to finally start performing, let me just say it took until fall of 2017 for me to feel ready to start looking for paid gigs–I had been practicing a 2 hour set of my songs (including playing guitar) for many months while we got settled in our new house (Oct. 2016) before I felt ready to reach out to venues as a professional musician. Then on one courageous day, I took the leap and did it–made phone calls and sent emails with a demo video I had made.

1st gig photo

1st gig on Sept. 23, 2017

I found 2 local venues (a branch of Breweries, and a winery) that were encouraging local artists and paid, albeit meagerly, for 2 hours of a mix of original folk rock and cover songs by my favorite artists: James Taylor, Carole King, The Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, Bonnie Raitt, Neil Young, and more! My album and the demo I made with performance videos from my open mic nights helped convince them to give me a chance and soon I was performing once a month then twice a month and then eventually 4 times a month. By the end of the summer of 2018 I was doing 3 hour gigs as well with several hired guitarists that I had duos with. Phew!rock and roll wonder woman

I stopped in September to take a break and get organized with my coaching and this blog and also to celebrate!– because I feel over a hump and ready to branch out and collaborate with some new musicians and look for higher paying venues.  Breaking through a glass ceiling that I never thought I could achieve brings up surprising amounts of grief and emotional pain and is not all just happiness, ease, and fun. glass ceiling Yes, when you have childhood wounds that kept you in a state of hiding most of your life, you must keep up with the positive affirmations and self-care of course but also make time for grieving the loss of all the years you didn’t believe in yourself and your gifts. It’s important to leave time for emotional healing and not spread yourself too thin.  It took some time for me to find a balance that worked for me.keep calm and glass ceiling

Okay, so now on a new topic, not only have I been performing and working on my music career, but I have also developed some new life coaching skills and emotional healing tools. From 2014 to now and continuing, I have been working with various intuitive coaches, energy healers, and spiritual counselors.  Through my seeking and thirst for knowledge about the spiritual realms, I have developed my own intuitive abilities to the point where I am proud to say that I am now a channel for spiritual guidance  as an Akashic Record Reader and you can read more about this on my new life coaching website. Yay! It’s very exciting! I realize now that I have always had this ability on some level but now I am able to ask for and receive spiritual inner guidance with greater clarity and greater confidence, knowing, and with greater tools to help others.AA Muriel

And this is because:  I have had to continually be doing intense emotional healing of my own.  Layers of pain coming up to the surface with each new success–the pain and doubt doesn’t just magically go away one day when you have many childhood wounds–having given up on myself at the age of 5 and banished my true self and my dreams away to develop a false self that was hiding and codependent, a people pleaser, and a rescuer–I’ve had to continue to work on healing all of these issues!  I’ve continually been working through the PTSD that results from having the abandonment wounds (from being hospitalized as a toddler) and also working through shame and feeling unsafe to be my true self as a child and throughout my early adulthood.  I had learned how to survive by hiding away my true desires and gifts and dreams so completely that I gave up on my music for 20 years while raising my children. Perhaps you can relate! hiding under a rock.jpeg

And so now here I am an empty nester, feeling like I’m in my 30’s (due to a healthy diet and new tools), pursuing a singing career, to share my songs that flow out of me– sometimes from my wounded heart but mostly from the bright light of hope inside of me that knows my purpose on the planet is to write and sing music and also give hope to others who cannot find their way up and out of the painful layers that often feel too heavy to break through.

Joni-Mitchell-Complete-So-Far-Guitar-Songbook-Edition-800

As I write this I realize I’ve learned and sharpened so many tools since 2012:guitar yoga  I learned ways to replenish and to re-energize my adrenals; continued my healthy diet; exercise regularly for strength and endurance; made myself more disciplined to practice my music as a priority; tap into spirit often to sharpen those innate intuitive skills and gifts; continue to write poetry and songs as I work through the emotional challenges;  I have opened myself up to spiritual knowledge about ascension symptoms, upgrades to the planet, and even the effect of past lives on our current incarnations; practice extreme self-care as I continue to grow from life’s challenges and surprises, and remind myself that the rule #1 from this blog still applies and was really ground-breaking at that time.

And that is that Self-Compassion is rule #1!journal tea bed

I’m grateful to this blog for this all important bit of wisdom to come forth–because it was writing here to you all that caused this bit of wisdom to be born!

And so I say thank you to all of you that are part of this highly sensitive, compassionate, and spiritually awakened community of Hope and Healing from Childhood Wounds. I hope it continues to be a haven of safety for your wounded inner child to come and get strong–as a cocoon for you to grow your wings at your own pace and try out your new wings when you are feeling strong enough to go for your dreams.  As always my message is:  You Can Do It!! …And have compassion and kindness for yourself as the pain comes up to heal with each success! Because you are strong enough to feel it, comfort yourself through it, acknowledge that you absorbed negativity you didn’t deserve, release it, rest, and rise again!inner child

Rest here in this haven anytime you wish, and reach out to this community or just read the comments from the hundreds who have reached out with their stories of childhood wounds and emotional healing in the comment sections. I would love to hear from you!  Please leave a comment to let me know you are helped by what I am sharing or if you are new to this community so that I can welcome you.

Wishing all of you comfort, inner peace, and so much love as you continue to heal,

Roxanne 😇✌️🎶💖✨

Roxanne Smith – Folk Rock Songs For the Soul

 

 

 

Part 2 of Heart to Heart Update

Hello Everyone! Sorry to be late with this post– So much has happened since my last post.  I had intended to release Part 2 last week but, after my performance on Oct. 6, I was unexpectedly exhausted–I slept 8 hours then I took a 6 hour nap the day after my show! I was shocked and woke up feeling like Rip Van Winkle lol! I continued to be tired on and off this week and was feeling brain fog and lots of emotional healing to do from having broken through another glass ceiling for myself. solophoto10-6-18 This show was my first 3 hour gig on a saturday night and my highest paying gig to boot!  It went even better than expected too because I had to play all the guitar by myself  for the entire 3 hour gig (I usually hire someone to play guitar with).  I prepared a set list that was 1/2 originals and 1/2 covers and all songs that I could play confidently and I practiced at least an hour a day to have the proper callouses by then.  It was a duo show accompanied by my friend who plays beautiful mandolin and bass (alternating depending on the needs of each song).  I made my best tips ever too that night so this gig was a success on many levels and as always that brings up more inner child pain to acknowledge and  release–having given up on my music for so many years.

I’m so grateful to realize I can do things I never dared to dream to be doing and yet now I am doing it!  It’s been indescribably surreal and emotional causing parts of me to want to go into hiding again to protect myself from feeling it and other parts of me are so excited to be at the next level and wanting more success!–the latter is the voice I am listening to!

Preparing for this big performance was also emotional and so 5 days prior to the show I had one of those days I couldn’t function well because of intense emotions brewing inside me.  Whenever this happens I always turn to pen and paper to write out my feelings in longhand to gain clarity–and on Oct 1 a long poem burst forth in poetic rhyming fashion just like my other poems on my healing writings page.  I’ve been writing songs and journaling consistently but I haven’t written a Poem in a year or 2! It is still in longhand at the present moment but I will be sharing it here on this blog after I get it typed up properly. I’m naming it “Emerging With Poetic News” so look for it in an upcoming post after this “heart to heart update series”.

Okay now so back to Part 2! I’ll just start in with this.  …In keeping with my explanation of my journey away from the blog since 2012:  I was feeling spread too thin to keep up with this blog, I was going to open mic nights to overcome my fear of singing in public, and I was making an album of my original songs which was a dream come true.  It was 2012 when this blog and my coaching business were at their peak but I couldn’t do both–my heart told me that focusing on the music was the right thing to do.  My health problems improved dramatically and I overcame my severe stagefright and made important musical connections in my city.  I performed my songs with my guitar for free at open mics but I still had a long way to go.

The album was released on iTunes in 2014. I still had never performed for money yet.  I had no income, just a dream and spiritual guidance from an intuitive counselor mentor that I trusted who helped me to see that my songs of hope and healing are helping others and they are a big part of my true purpose in this lifetime. This deeply resonated as I had accumulated 50 original songs by now that had poured out of me fairly easily in a creative process that I had developed which felt as if I channeled their creation from my higher self.  I knew that I must become the singer-songwriter that I longed to be in my heart and share my journey of hope, healing, and upliftment through my songs.

As soon as my album was self-published and released on iTunes, I had a surgery in fall 2014 to correct varicose veins that ended up setting me back on my health journey–sensitive to the high levels of epinephrine that was used in this outpatient procedure that spanned 4 weeks time, my adrenal fatigue came back with a vengeance. I stopped with the open mic nights too and focused on regaining my health.

Continuing to write songs,  I realized my house and it’s constant needs for updates and repairs were too much for me and my husband.  So we followed our hearts and intuitive guidance from my intuitive counselor that it was best that we move and leave the 18 year old house where we’d raised our 2 now grown children and find a place that I could focus on my music and have less maintenance to worry about.  For a sentimental sensitive person like myself this was quite a challenge–purging many things to make the move easier.

By fall of 2016 we found the perfect home in a different part of the city and, after a rollercoaster year of searching and decluttering, we were all moved into a wonderful new home that (magically 😇 ✨) met all of our needs. Long story short, it took until fall of 2017 for me to feel ready to start reaching out and looking for paid gigs to perform my original songs of hope and healing….

…To be continued in Part 3 coming in a couple weeks.

Sending all of you Peace and Love and Light from Above,

Roxanne 😇🎶💖✨

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