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Category Archives: highly evolved soul

“Pain From the Past” Arising for Highly Sensitive Souls

Pain from the past image

PAIN FROM THE PAST

Lyrics by Roxanne Smith

 

Feelings coming up from I don’t know where

I don’t want to feel it but avoid it I don’t dare

 

CHORUS:

‘Cause it’s pain from the past you see

Comin’ up to say hello to me

Just keep it a movin’ until I’m free

Let it move on through and away from me

 

They say it gets easier as the old layers heal

I can tell I am stronger and I’m more grounded and real

But sometimes it’s thick and pulls me back down

To how I felt as a child when love was not around

 

CHORUS:

It’s just pain from the past you see

Comin’ up to say hello to me

Just keep it a movin’ until I’m free

Let it move on through and away from me

 

What happened back then can’t be made right

But I can love that little child in me with all my might

I can protect her and soothe her pain

I deserved love back then and now I’m gonna make it rain

 

BRIDGE:

Make it rain love love love

Coming down on me

Make it rain love love love

Until I’m free

Wash away all of the doubt

And the fear and shame

Until I’m a bright shining light again

with no more pain

 

Repeat 1st verse:

Feelings comin up from I don’t know where

I don’t want to feel it but avoid it I don’t dare

 

CHORUS:

‘Cause it’s pain from the past you see

Comin’ up to say hello to me

Just keep it on movin’until I’m free

Let it move on through and away from me.

Original Song © 2014 Roxanne Smith

Hello everyone! Lots of good things have been happening with my music performances and my coaching in the last couple of months so I’ve been very busy with that. It’s very exciting and somewhat surreal as I keep reaching outside of my comfort zone.  HOWEVER, just recently I’ve been surprised by the intensity of feelings coming up that I haven’t felt for a long time or maybe EVER.  I know I’m so much stronger because I am observing this happening rather letting it get me down. However, I’ve been surprised at the intensity of old feelings, anxiety, lack of motivation, and emotional pain. I reassure myself that it’s old stuff on the way out but I have the say Man I’m very surprised at the intensity and heaviness of the feelings that been coming and going in the last few days!  I look up and listen to youtube channellings on the spiritual guidance about solar flares and energy upgrades and ascension symptoms and things of this nature at times like these when I feel out of sorts. I usually get comfort and confirmation that something big is going on with the planets energy and this time is no exception. One of my favorites for highly sensitive souls and empaths, if you are interested, is Lee Harris Energy. Check his video out at the bottom of this post if you are interested.

So if you are feeling out of sorts, lost your confidence, extra tired and unmotivated, and experiencing bouts of emotional pain, and/or loneliness please know you are not alone and this too shall pass.  Highly sensitive souls are feeling it because it’s a gift to be so clairsentient and empathic–it’s not because it’s a curse or a problem.  Please allow these times of emotional healing and physical healing to reassure you that you belong to a unique and special tribe of souls here on earth with an innate higher vibration. You might possibly be a lightworker and you might like to google this word and see if you resonate with the meaning of it–it may help you feel supported if you are feeling drawn to learning about spiritual awakening.

If you identify as an empath, introvert, or HSP then you might possibly still be a sponge and absorbing the unfelt feelings of the collective consciousness–this could be happening to you if you are still healing childhood wounds.  Learning about grounding techniques and positive affirmations can help a lot. Take solace in knowing you are not alone and you are part of a tribe of highly sensitive people all going through similar emotional healing in similar ways.  Please comment if you are needing support from others in this community right now or if you relate to what I am saying. Or let us know if you are doing great and zooming right through because of healing that is behind you.  Everyone is different and it’s fascinating to see how we are all healing in different ways and yet similar in other ways. We can learn so much from each other.

One common similarity among us it seems is that pain seems to come up to heal after a success and achievement is reached, that when “wham” old beliefs and insecurities come up to the surface, sometimes the next morning, after you’ve broken through a personal glass ceiling in your life’s journey.  Please don’t let your old inner critic/ego beliefs that can get loud after a success convince you that you are not cut out for this new level of success. Just try to observe it happening and write about it in a journal for your eyes only and see how unfair that voice is being to you. That is not the voice of your true self. Self-compassion is the voice of the true self and that is the voice that is best to listen to–your higher self.  It’s like developing a muscle when you are learning to tap into this inner guidance–you will get stronger and stronger as you practice recognizing when your inner critic is beating you up.  It’s often just a lower vibration energy that is on the way out as your soul is reaching for higher heights–back up where you belong.  😃 Because you were born with a higher vibration–highly sensitive for a good reason and that reason is to elevate the planet with your compassion and innate goodness and positivity.

With love and light, comfort, caring, and compassion,

Roxanne 😇🙏🎶💖✨

P.S. Please leave a comment because your comment will help other highly sensitive souls who have not yet found their voice or inner strength to comment yet.  Helping others by writing about your story can lift you up during hard times as well!

Here’s the video I mentioned above:

 

 

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NOW Is A Good Time… For Emotional Healing

Hi everyone!  Now that it’s Spring, the warmth is finally here in the midwestern part of the USA!  Yay!!  I feel happier when the temperatures are warmer and I can get outside and enjoy nature and recharge.  As a HSP healing from childhood wounds, I am still figuring out what makes me happiest and what I “like” most in life–right now I like thinking about some day moving to a warmer climate during the winter months!  😉

As HSP children, your “job” may have been to often to take care of your own parents’ feelings so you didn’t dare even ask yourself “What do I want?, How do I feel?, and What are my dreams and desires?  Perhaps it can be  “fun” now to “create” a life for yourself that is purely satisfying to “you”.  This is not being selfish for HSPs who have spent their lives putting others’ feelings and happiness first.  This is realizing your feelings and desires are meant to be your “compass” for finding direction and satisfaction in your life!

Even after all of your recovery and replacing a negative inner critic with a very consistent feeling of love and protection for yourself and you inner child, do you still sometimes wake up with a feeling of shame that surprises you?  It may usually happen after a day when you really asserted your voice and followed your heart (I have written about this before). Try to see that as evidence of how your shining light as a child may have been a threat to a narcissistic or bullying  caretakers and they had to bring you “down”.  “Get off of your high horse!”, “Who do you think you are!?”, “How dare you be happy when I am not happy!?”,  and “Straighten up and fly right!”–Were these phrases (spoken or implied silently with mean looks (angry eyes)) ones that come to mind that were a daily occurrence to shame and control you as a child?

Now that you may be working on changing the core beliefs about yourself, it is also helpful to reframe all those events with how you would have voiced your opposition if you had felt safe and knew you were loved and supported by the Universe.  Talking back to the inner critic is acknowledging it is there and then saying what you need to say to yourself to be an emotionally healthy soul–say, “I like being on my high horse!–it is good to feel proud of myself!”, “I think I am an amazing and gifted person!”, “Everyone is free to pursue their own happiness–it’s in the Constitution!”, and “Your right way and my right way are 2 different things!”  If you had felt safe and strong as a child and had been able to say these things in your childhood without being shamed and punished, then your true self would have survived and you would not have had to push your feelings underground and develop a false self that was fearful and obedient.  You can say it NOW and reclaim your strength that it didn’t feel safe for you to have. It is very healing to your wounded soul when you express the truth about yourself, either silently, out loud, or in a journal–express your true voice!

Just realizing you have an inner critic that stops you from enjoying your life and feeling good about yourself is the first step–writing out all the mixed messages swimming around your brain and getting them on paper in a journal will help you to realize that your inner critic has taken over.  I no longer have to journal to realize when I am listening to my inner critic–I recognize the negative feeling right away, acknowledge it, and say to myself  “that is ridiculous and that is not true about me!”

The real truth is I am a shining light of God’s love and I am perfect just the way I am!  You are perfect just the way you are too! There is nothing wrong with you!  You just have self-doubt– “doubt” just means questioning the truth–the truth is there but it takes courage to Believe It!  Believe it because it is true–you are perfect exactly as you are NOW in this moment!  And you deserve the LOVE, COMFORT, COMPASSION, and ENCOURAGEMENT that you never got during childhood.  You can learn to give it to yourself!

For myself, any shame feeling I get in the morning goes away immediately as I shoo it away and replace it with love for myself and with my new core beliefs: “This shame is not mine and not true and I have nothing to be ashamed of!”  Poof!  Gone! I also say, “Wow, I must have done something amazing and authentically me yesterday, I am on the right path!”  Then I can’t wait to get up and enjoy my day, my way!  I love my life and I am grateful that I am free to enjoy it now.

I feel my true purpose is to help others who are struggling to love themselves because of these very complex, negative messages that were engrained in their brains since early childhood.  It is not easy but growing new loving neural pathways in your brain is possible and I am living proof.  I hope that by my example I can help those of you struggling, suffering, and occasionally falling into pits of despair to climb out and break free from the negative energy “soup” that can engulf the soul of an emotionally needy HSP.  It takes time so please be patient with yourself if you fall backwards sometimes.

The key is to keep on feeling the feelings and comforting yourself through them–it is a grieving process.  You will come out the other side–to truth, light, and a connection to the Universe that no one can ever take away from you–it is innate in you and as a HSP you are a loved and highly evolved soul with compassion and light for others as your greatest gift.  You are going to be okay if you allow yourself to believe these things NOW–start today.  I am here, I understand–I have been lost, and now I am found.  NOW is the time to begin to love yourself without shame. You can do it!  This blog post was written for YOU!

After a weekend visit with our grown son who lives in Chicago, I felt energized, so energized that I wrote a new poem–even though I am a pretty extreme introvert and we had a very extraversion-filled weekend.  I was energized because of the quality of the relationship we have with our son and we all so enjoyed each others company and enjoyed being positive, building each other up, expressing our love and appreciation for each other, and having fun together.  So when we returned I was standing in my kitchen and had to grab paper and a pen because I felt this poem just had to be expressed.  I just let it flow out of me and when I was done I realized I was still “standing up” in my kitchen! (leaning against the counter 🙂 )  I am so glad I listened to that still small voice in my head that said to write this down.  Here is the poem that flowed out of me that cold, winter, sunday evening after our trip:

NOW Is A Good Time

By Roxanne Smith

Feb. 18, 2013

NOW’s a good time to nurture yourself and your feelings

To release the past and all painful dealings.

The pain’s coming up NOW so you’ll see the truth

of how you weren’t seen and loved in your youth.

The child inside, he or she yearns to be free.

The pain is just blocking your feelings of glee.

Joy and great gladness are all waiting there.

Waiting until you feel the truth and despair.

What happened to you was awful and sick

The pain you repressed was unbearable and thick.

You were too small and dependent back then

but now you are safe so the wounds can open

and your soul wants to heal these wounds from within.

You cannot move higher until you tell the truth of your kin.

How they poked you and pulled you down each time you succeeded

’til you gave up and blamed yourself… but they weren’t what you needed.

You were a bright star with a higher energy.

They were jealous and threatened by your desire to be free.

So you hid your true self until a much safer time–

It’s safe NOW so your soul is crying out as a sign

to be kind to your inner child who is coming out—please allow!

Don’t beat yourself up for feeling bad NOW.

Because you’re rising up from patterns ingrained in your head.

New ways of being are in your soul, time to shed

all the old pain, it must be felt to be released.

It is gone forever once you see the danger has ceased.

The danger was real then, don’t ever forget it

but now you choose new friends who are not like your inner critic.

You are learning your true self is a compassionate soul

who is kind to others and that is your role.

So being kind to your self is the very first step.

All day everyday you must give yourself pep!

Don’t listen to your inner critic—it is wrong and so mean

like those who abused you and weren’t nice as they seem.

You deserved better and NOW you must give it to your soul.

The more you are kind, the more you’ll feel Whole!

Each layer of pain will dissolve as you express

all of your confusion and unhappiness.

How could this be… you thought: “I was bad and wrong”

but really blaming “YOU” was unfair all along.

You were a bright light never harming a flea–

so easy to control because you trusted completely.

I hope you can see that you can reframe your past.

Replace those mean moments with self-love that will last.

Accepting Love from Above will change your beliefs about your core.

Who you are YOU must love so your dreams can then soar!

You are gifted and brilliant, a gift to us all.

You are treasured by those others who also feel this call.

The call’s mixed with pain and feeling bad about your childhood.

When you change your beliefs you will see your soul’s all Good!

Then you can reconnect with your self and find creativity and fun.

You’ll learn to relax and recharge from the sun.

Learn to listen to your body instead of working too hard.

You’ll get lots more done when you “play” in your yard.

Allowing yourself to enjoy being you

will slow you down and allow the pain to come through.

After a good cry, each time you’ll feel better–

lighter and lighter ‘til you’re light as a feather.

And allowing yourself to have space that is yours—

new boundaries to protect yourself will help open doors.

You must learn to feel grounded and connected to the earth.

This will help you feel solid and put yourself first.

You deserve to be happy and that starts with self-care.

After you are grounded, then you will become aware

that lifting up others is your gift and your purpose

and there’s a billion others out there who are not just kind on the surface.

They are deep and compassionate—you are not alone.

We are healing together as we feel grace and atone.

We did our best with all that we have known.

NOW we know it’s okay to be angry, then let it go.

Don’t hold onto blame, but blame needs to be spoken.

Release it and move on—don’t yell at the broken.

You are higher than they are (those who brought you down).

You don’t need to punish—you can just leave town

to start a new life and create all that your dreams can arrange.

Move forward… not fixing those who don’t want to change.

Trust these new feelings that spark in your heart.

Healing is painful but that’s only part.

This feeling’s inside that you’re finally alive!

Keep going with following your passions inside.

Don’t compare yourself to others—you have a new gig!

Let desires be your guide and your success will be BIG.

If you do this and trust your intuition inside

your internal guidance will help you to thrive.

Sometimes you’ll get stuck so you’ll need to be kind

to yourself when you inner critic starts messing with you mind.

Drop down to your heart instead of your head.

If you need to cry about something that was said,

grieve for this loss, the wrong path where you were led.

It hurt you so much, childhood pain must be shed

so we can see, that NOW we’re safe and free

And we would have parented differently!

And that’s good you are different and unique and that’s great!

I hope you can see that it’s never too late.

We often must go backward to move forward to be free.

You can heal and find wholeness—take it from me!

I found here a community of souls who relate–

I share how I healed and how sensitivity is great!

By journaling out the pain, I had new eyes to see.

My true voice was found, then my true self was free!

I know it sounds simple but it took a long time.

Try to trust in your feelings, then all will be fine.

As I followed my pain I got signs from above:

“relax and enjoy” and best “You are loved!”

I know of your pain– I know just how you feel.

It happened to me and I learned how to heal

So NOW as you journey from wounded to whole

I hope that these words will comfort your soul.

=============================

Please share your feelings in a comment if this post resonates with you.  Your comments also help others who are still struggling to find their voice.  We can help uplift each other higher as a community of compassionate souls.  Thank you for reading.  Have a wonderful Spring–may the warmth of the Universe envelope you and comfort you NOW as you heal and grow to your true potential.

With love, light, and my deepest compassion,

Roxanne

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