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Monthly Archives: July, 2019

Helpful Tips About Healing Childhood Pain–From Self-doubt To Finding Your True Purpose

Hello Everyone, After my last post was so well received, I feel inspired to share more posts of this nature–so I am sharing the following very popular post from the first year of this blog in April 2010–it received about 3,000 views in the first years of this blog. I hope you find it helpful and supportive! I’ll be putting a link to it on the home page. With comfort and caring support, Roxanne 💖✨

Hope and Healing Haven

Hi everyone.  I hope you are able to enjoy the beauty in the spring flowering trees and all of the splashes of purple and pink that are so breathtaking–at least they are here where I am located.  Wherever you are, I am grateful for the technology of the internet that helps me to feel as if I am connected to you–all of you who are highly sensitive and have endured a less than healthy environment during your formative years.  I understand your struggle to make sense of the self-doubt and negative messages in your heads and of the occasional upheaval of childhood wounds that are sometimes too painful to bear.  I used to feel that way–I have come such a long way from self-doubt to finding my voice as a person and knowing my true purpose in life.  I can still remember the pain and confusion and sometimes I still have wounds that come…

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Sensitive Soul With a Narcissistic Parent? Here’s Hope To Cheer Up That Dread In the Morning Feeling!

Hello Everyone. If you feel like me this morning, you need some cheering up.  So I’m here to tell you that you are so much more than you feel.  Underneath the unworthy feeling and dread of being here on the planet is a soul with an inner child who is actually so full of life and joy.

Maybe you’ve gotten glimpses of your true amazing self recently and started actualizing some of your dreams but now the unworthiness is back and you feel lost.  Know that you are healing. “Big Time Inner Healing” is going on on the planet right now.  No you have not stepped backwards.  If you had a narcissistic parent or a mother who was too steeped in her own pain to give you what you needed, how is that pain ever going to heal if it is always pushed down and ignored?

So it is bubbling up to the surface to say hello and for you to love yourself through it.  You might be saying, I can’t get anything done this week—I am feeling like such a failure.  Look at it from a different perspective. Maybe reality is like this:  You had a great productive run there for a while and now is the perfect time for you to take some self-care time for yourself and look at some old wounds that keep popping up and holding you back. Whatever you are feeling you have good reasons for feeling it!

As a child you may have been neglected, shamed, humiliated, abandoned, betrayed, ganged up on by siblings, or ________ fill in the blank. You did a good job surviving the best that you could. You developed a deep unworthiness and a feeling that you’re not good enough as a tiny child when in fact you were great at most things.  You were deeply disappointed that you were not “seen” and it made no sense.  But now you know. 

You know how gifted you are and were—this is old stuff we are rehashing here—but here is the BIG THING that is happening right now.  You are having trouble actualizing your true self and stepping up into your true voice because the old wounds haven’t completely healed and they are coming up now so you can heal it. Yes, you can heal it! 

I am experiencing this too so let’s do this together.  There are inner child healing visualization exercises that are so powerful that they will shift us into our true selves and at the same time comfort and release a deep wound from childhood that has been frozen and stuck because we have had no patience with it. 

How often have you beaten yourself up for feeling a certain way and numbed yourself out with tasks or work to avoid allowing yourself to feel that way—this is the way that most Americans cope—they grit it out and go to their 9 to 5 jobs and are too busy to feel but they feel good that they got paid and worked and that is their reinforcement to continue to numb out their feelings. 

Then there are those of us creative intuitive feeling types that so struggle with fitting into this expectation—we try and try but the darn feelings keep coming up and getting in the way of us making a good living like other people do. But in actuality, we are the more skilled at attracting abundance then those who are nose to the grindstone—we just fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others who seem to be successful with a steady paycheck.

I am reading the book Creating Money by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer and it is so good for Empaths, Sensitives, and Creative Artists who are struggling to step into their purpose and fly with their whole heart.  It says to get used to an ebb and flow when you are in a creative business that relies on your trusting your innate gifts of intuition and creativity to make a living. 

There will be times when you are humming along (flow) and then things will slow down and you have some time to look inward and grow some more (ebb).  This is not the way most of society thinks of as the way to success! You may be shamed by people who are making a living without access to their feelings and purpose.  Don’t listen to them.  You are the wiser soul with all the answers inside.  You’ve got this. We can do it together. 

I feel very excited about being a cheerleader for sensitive souls who are overcoming the deepest scars from a childhood lacking any sort of strong foundation to launch from. I can help put the pieces together so you can see that your sensitive soul already had a strong foundation of love and experience to launch from and you chose a really difficult childhood because you are strong enough to break through to be YOU. 

I’m confident that underneath the layers and messages of unworthiness that you absorbed as a tiny child is a gifted creative soul who is a shining light of goodness and compassion here to help the planet with that very compassion that has been used against you. 

It’s so hard to be excited about the day ahead when you wake up with dread and bad feelings about yourself. I have found if this happens to me I can stay stuck in that place if I don’t MAKE myself take some kind of action to access my truth.  For me it is writing in a journal.  I just start writing about how bad I am feeling and I immediately have compassion for myself and realize I am being too hard on myself. 

This is part of my gift and purpose, writing hopeful things (blog posts, songs, poems) to help uplift others similar to myself in a similar plight. I feel so much better writing all this then I did when I woke up this morning.  It has taken me 3 days of feeling down and being guided to rest and take a break (ebb) to finally feel rested enough to just start writing about my frustration in the hopes that it will help others. 

This is the voice of my true self and it feels so good to have broken through (flow) that stuck feeling of unworthiness that my inner child was stuck in.  When you have a narcissistic mother, you must learn self-compassion for the feelings that arise to be healed and take time out to write or do visualization exercises:

Okay here is a powerful exercise for healing the inner child that I mentioned earlier:

Picture yourself as a small child of any age you choose with the feelings that have you feeling down on yourself.

Picture yourself as your now adult self walking along and coming upon your tiny child self who has been abandoned and yelled at and shamed and abused. You are shocked at the beauty of this child, how could anyone ever not see the giftedness of this child that you see? You come to the rescue! 

You see the compassion, sensitivity,  creativity, curiosity, hopefulness, sense of humor, artistic ability, introspective genius, complex thinking, deep feeling capacity, ability to find joy and fun in the smallest of nature’s splendor, and on and on.  You are perplexed at how a child so magnificent could be cast aside and blamed for crying too much or any other small attempt to be loved.  Oh the injustice of it all—it makes no sense because yeah it is pretty crazy.  It’s not right.  And the adult you can do something about it immediately.  You go over to the child and you rescue them into your arms of the truth and the unconditional love that you know they deserve.  You pick them up with a knowing of who they are and all that they came here to be. You hold them tightly in your arms with their head on your shoulder and you tell them, “Everything is going to be alright now. I am here and I see what happened to you and it was wrong.  You deserved so much more and I’m going to hold you and comfort you and take care of you until you feel better.  I’ll be gentle with you and let you cry when you need to so you can learn to trust your feelings again. I’ll be here for you for as long as it takes. I promise because I see the gifts inside of you that are going to blossom with tender loving care.  And I’m going to teach you to be kind to yourself and that it’s okay to make mistakes and that is how we learn. I’m going to teach you to be whole and strong and stand on your own 2 feet because you know how to forgive yourself and be kind and caring to yourself and that you are good enough every minute that you are alive. When you are ill, you need rest and when you are sad you need freedom to grieve. I will take care of you forever.”

So you hold the inner child you and you feel them feeling better and healing those deep layers of unworthiness and not being held and comforted and their needs for autonomy not being met. 

You do this every time you are feeling bad about yourself—-do it every morning if you wake up feeling bad about yourself. Write about this process every time in a journal if it helps solidify the healing you experience.  You may want to write it from the child’s perspective. You may need to write out the grief of the loss of a childhood of not being able to have fun and relax due to these deeply engrained fears of not getting your basic needs met.

I’m reminded of many books that helped support me when I started doing my deepest inner grief work back in 2003 and then I started writing my songs of hope and healing in 2004. (See my recommended books page) And here I am here in 2019 clearing out the last remnants of these deep feelings of unworthiness to speak my voice that came up this morning and prompted me to write this to help others feeling these feelings. 

It just shows to depth of the damage that having a narcissistic parent can do to your sensitive soul. Oh it is so hard to break out of the vicious cycle of self-contempt!  But you can do this!  You are so special and gifted and full of light.  Keep coming back here to my blog if you need more encouragement because I plan to keep it up.

I see you and I am so proud of how you are healing.  I understand the depth of pain that that blanket of unworthiness can cause each morning. I wish you the strength to break through to the truth of the glory of who you really are. I’ll be back again soon to cheer you up again.  (See my channeled angel messages page too for more encouraging and comforting words from the angelic realms)

You’ve got this!  Sending infinite Hugs and Love and Light to your wounded inner child and to YOU,

Roxanne 😇💖✨

New Weekly Channeled Angel Messages: Comfort For Empaths and Lightworkers During Ascension

Channeled Angel Messages ✨😇💖✨Weekly!

Hello Everyone!  These messages are to be shared for all who resonate and are open to receiving spiritual guidance.  This includes Empaths, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), Lightworkers, Spiritually Awakening Souls, Earth Angels, and to all Seekers and Open-hearted souls.

This blog post is taken from my Channeled Angel Messages Page on my blog that has 13 posts of angel messages that I am now posting there weekly.  There you will find all the other messages from my 6 archangel guides (most of the time it is 6 but it changes) that I have posted since November, 2018. Please comment if you like receiving the angel messages in my blog posts. I’d love to hear from you.

Peace and Love to you,

Roxanne Elaine Smith 💗

July 15, 2019

Dear Gorgeous Sensitive Souls, we are greeting you this way because some of you are not feeling so beautiful right now and we want to reassure you that you are and so much more than you can imagine.  Your brilliant light and healing abilities are vast and strong and your ability to tap into the beauty and bliss of existence is very real. Often you get bogged down from being around others and don’t even realize the negativity is not yours.  Other times you are triggered by the insensitivity of loved ones and your own unhealed wounds come up to the surface.  Often this makes you feel shocked at the depth of your wounds about feeling safe.  You know that you need to feel safe at a basic level. 

The good news is that this is happening so that you can now begin to create this safety for yourself from the inside out.  Until you know about these unsafety feelings that have been long hidden inside, you can’t heal them.  So your higher self is guiding you to these situations where you have to face these needs for safety that were never properly formed in your childhood or you may have root chakra damage from past lives that has not been resolved that is playing out in this lifetime. 

This happens if you died tragically in a past life for being persecuted for many reasons and one example is for being accused of being a witch. Or you may have been an outspoken or rebellious woman or man who did not follow the rules of your time and were trying to help others in some way. The list of possibilities is long.  Deep feelings of untrust and injustice and not being able to speak your truth may all be coming up to be healed and resolved in this life. You may be clearing throat chakras issues in this case.  If it all feels like too much to decipher and bear please take a break from figuring it all out and be really kind to yourself right now. Often the weekends are when conflicts arise because we have the time and our higher self knows it.  Try to trust that your higher self will not give you more than you can handle. 

If you can write in the mornings to get back in touch with your true loving nature and clear out your disappointment, then the rest of your day will go so much better.  We see how strong you are, how amazing you are when you speak out about things—when your words are twisted or not received well, you are hard on yourself and forget that what you were saying is/was very accurate. Your are right and you are right most of the time—people who manipulate and downplay your words are just showing their insecurities and fear.  It is disguised as power but it is born out of fear of not being good enough.  You also have roots of not being good enough that you are clearing out.

You are now knowing you are good enough so you expect loved ones to be a cheerleader for you and you may be shocked and disappointed when they are not.  You would never not be a cheerleader so then you blame yourself for not choosing people in your life who are not cheerleaders. Please know that what gifts you bring to the planet, of creativity and high vibration, cause a healing crisis in other people sometimes and it is all unconscious to them—they don’t know why they react the way they do. Think of yourselves as magic healers walking around bringing up others unhealed wounds sometimes.  Think of yourselves like Glenda the Good Witch floating around with a smile and beauty and a powerful wand—we hope this brings a smile to your face.  It may seem silly but if you are feeling victimized instead of seeing that you are healing, this image can really help you to heal. 

Of course Glenda has a magic bubble to get away and you can’t float away in your human world but you absolutely have the power to put a protective bubble around yourself at any time with just your imagination and intention.  It’s best to imagine this amazing bubble of yours to allow love and light and bliss to flow out to others but no negativity may enter. There are many ways you may imagine your bubble—you may like to create it to have a mirrored exterior shining outward so that when negativity approaches, it sees itself and runs away. We want this to be fun for you to experiment with. 

We are also wanting to lighten your heavy mood that stems from having absorbed negativity from elsewhere. Innately your energy is all love and light and so you can ask your guides and angels to lift off any energy that is not yours at any time. We want to help and we remind you that you must ask for our help in order for us to do things like this. We love you so much, dear ones, and we want you to be excited about who you are and your abilities to manifest your desires that are in the highest good for your soul. In order for your dreams to come true the lower vibrational repressed emotions from childhood must be cleared out.

Right now you may have anger to be cleared out—it might be causing a blockage in the heart and solar plexus chakras—imagine the frustration of not having a voice to say no to abuse and injustice and since you are healing and getting stronger and some good things are happening in your life, it makes sense that repressed anger from the past would come up to the surface to be healed.  You may find you have exploded at someone recently or wanted to and perhaps you are shocked at the rage that you feel. We want you to know you can release this anger in harmless ways by several techniques. One is by writing all the rage out at someone in a letter and do not hold back and tell the truth of the depth of your rage—and then burn it of course (in a private releasing ceremony if you’d like) or shred it because this would be damaging for anyone else to actually read.

Also hitting a mattress as hard as you can as often as you need to to release this anger out of your body.  Thirdly, saying or yelling what you wish you could say to an abuser or unfair situation into a pillow to muffle the sound. We do not want you to hurt your vocal chords of course so alternate these different techniques as you feel guided.  We want you to look at this as a healing exercise and notice the relief that you feel.  We do not need to tell you that unleashing anger onto a person would be harmful as well as lower your vibration and only cause you to feel remorse—but humans do have this big reaction at times so if by chance you do have an angry outburst on another it will do wonders to genuinely apologize for any words that diminished the other person in any way. If you were just loud out of frustration that is okay occasionally although you may find that yelling just triggers others and they may not be as mindful as you in their choice of words back to you which may trigger you in return. 

So you can see that staying calm—speaking your truth in a calm tone such as saying: “I know who I am, and what is being said about me here is incorrect” or “I do not want to be treated this way” and walk away is the beginning of finding your voice and strength to standing in your power and ending co-dependence on others approval.  We see that many of you are getting your independent legs and we are so proud of you.  Do not be discouraged if it has taken you a long time to get to where you can see with clarity that you are treated less than fairly in your love relationships too. Do not be too quick to throw this relationship away because all that may need to happen is for you to calmly say “No I’’m not going to allow you to talk to me like that—Maybe you should go take a walk and calm down” or something to that effect. We know this is easier said than done but we want you to see the progress you are making that we see—and be cheerleaders for yourselves to continue to grow in your strength as sensitive caring souls who only want to help. 

You will get more respect from the divine masculine partner when you stay calm and speak strongly and forcefully rather than cry and yell from a feeling of victimization. Forgive yourselves for occasional outbursts, you are human and it’s okay and may even be eye opening for you to see the hidden inner wound in you that needs to be healed. To be blamed or criticized or mocked or betrayed are all things you mustn’t stand for and you must speak up about—you will find your words in time.  Marriage counseling called Imago Relationship Therapy can be very helpful if you are having marital struggles with someone who is very much still in 3D and acting from their ego—because the principle is that you each are attracted to the very person who will bring up your childhood wounds so that you can heal them. 

We have talked about marital struggles here because we want you to see that it is often through relationships that we grow the most because your partners show you where the pain lies.  Optimally you can come to an agreement with your partner that you both need to provide a safe space for you each to heal your own wounds and honor and respect each others needs for time alone to process after an argument. This is difficult if you have abandonment wounds and a deep need to feel connected to another person in order to feel loved.  This is very hard and you may have PTSD with these wounds as the basis.  Asking your partner to just hold you at times can help tremendously in healing the early childhood wounds of not being held enough. Know that you are a gift to any partner you choose because you are pure love—knowing this deep in your soul will help you heal your own abandonment wounds.

If you are single with abandonment wounds you are healing it every day that you take care of yourself and are not looking for someone else to complete you.  You are complete and whole and we are especially proud of you learning to love yourself and look deeply inward to see that the wounds can be healed with your own self-compassion and finding your voice by journaling or reaching out to a trusted sensitive, and experienced counselor. Trust your heart to know you’ve found the right person to help.  Always remember you can talk to us anytime and ask for guidance and be open to the answers coming to you in your mind as new insights and ideas—of course writing to us in a journal is another way of receiving insights that very may well seem like your own ideas but we are helping in a way that may not be obvious. 

This is the beginning of trusting your intuition and this muscle will grow stronger with use.  So we leave you today with much advice about healing your inner wounds and your relationship conflicts—this is because we want you to know you are not being punished by these difficulties happening in your lives right now—much to the contrary, these conflicts are providing you with opportunities to see clearly where your wounds are and how you can heal them to feel strong no matter what happens in your life.  This inner strength is what is already inside you, we can see it, but you are just beginning to see it. 

Having inner strength is all you need to manifest your dreams and even future treasures that your higher self has planned for you that you can not even imagine. Trust that the universe is in your favor always at all times. Easier times are ahead as you clear out and acknowledge and release the hardest wounds from your past.  We send you comfort and hugs and butterfly kisses for your wounded inner child. Until next time, be gentle on yourselves, AA Muriel (Empaths), AA Chamuel (Comfort), AA Jophiel (Creativity and Beauty), AA Sandalphon (Grounding and Music), AA Uriel (Wisdom), and AA Azriel (Grief, Loss, and Transitions)

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