Emerging With Poetic News
By Roxanne E. Smith
October 1, 2018
Painful layers coming up. Tortured soul now wise enough.
Stronger now to see the truth. Allow my heart to show the proof.
No wonder sometimes feel alone. Who can understand this drone?
I can see it, but who else? Few dive as deep into the self.
Emerging with poetic news to explain the latest cruise
That ventured deep inside my heart to purge and cleanse to a brand new start.
I feel the urge to start anew. Old mask feels odd and fits askew.
Anxiety had gone away but visiting now it’s back today.
Fear from old, not about the present. Hurry and leave, you are unpleasant.
I can comfort the child you hurt. Anxiety you are so absurd—
If I knew then what I know now I’d ground myself and calm it! Wow!
—I know how to when I “write” but when I “think” I lose all sight.
To think is to stay stuck in fright—to write accesses hope and light.
So write I must and clear it out. The truth is LOVE and it heals all doubt.
Sure that I will then succeed as I would’ve done with love as seeds.
Fertile growth of childhood soul instead of hurt from heartless roles.
We all wear masks to protect the child—inside of us afraid, meek, and mild.
The bully’s gone you can come out. Love is God and Joy can shout.
It’s okay to loudly dance and sing at newfound circumstance.
You are love and past was wrong but you are right so sing a song.
Release all doubt and pain not yours and let in truth and love in store.
Instantly you can check in and fill yourself with heart heaven.
By knowing love is under the pain, let it go and fill it up again.
My heart hurts but yearns for love. Replace all pain with bliss from above.
Writing helps me know the truth. If you weren’t loved then love is proof.
Now you’re loved and you are the same just now away from shame and blame.
Toxic talk does harm to kids but they then grow stronger hearts to rid…
They rid themselves of negativity and shine and thrive compassionately.
And go where kindness is so real and life is pure and peace does heal.
Get time alone with heartfelt word—injustice melts and love endures.
Replenish just by plugging in to your higher self and grow within.
More real you with tougher resolve—the outcome as your soul evolves.
Here on earth to shine your light with wisdom that helps others’ plights.
We all have this ability—some know it more—Oh lucky me.
My life plan helped me enough to encounter those who’d wake me up.
Awake I am and grateful yes to heal my soul from heart oppressed.
Freedom beckons every soul to love themselves and heal to whole.
Write to heal and feel relief. You deserve to rest with peace.
And you’ll grow stronger you will see. Sending Love to You, from Me. 😀
Original Poem © 2018 Roxanne Smith
This is the poem that I wrote a few weeks ago. It talks about how writing helps me to access a wisdom that comforts and heals me to my vibrant self again. This poem was such a valuable reminder–Sometime I forget to journal when I get stuck but writing out my most vulnerable feelings helps me every time!
This poem flowed out of me as is in cursive longhand–with just a few minor grammatical changes. I feel it is a combination of my own creative process combined with channeling my Higher Self/divine inner wisdom. It is never my intention to ever share it when I am writing these kinds of poems. After each time I write my poems and healing songs, I feel like I’ve healed a layer of repressed childhood pain that needed to be acknowledged and released. I’m sharing this one now with this blog community with the hope that it helps you heal too. I encourage you to try writing this way too–give it a try in a journal for your eyes only–it’s important that you know it’s only for your own healing to help you dive deep and discover feelings you didn’t know you had. (The Artist’s Way book by Julia Cameron is a wonderful guidebook on how to journal to unblock yourself creatively and find your voice.)
Thank you to those who have emailed me to tell me that my poems have changed their lives and that they print out and read their favorite ones every day to lift themselves up. It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve written one of these healing poems. I’ll be adding it and a few others to the Healing Writings Page. I’ll be adding new song lyrics to this page also–they won’t be new Posts so you won’t get email notifications, they will just be new Pages on the blog so I will mark them with “NEW” in red so you can check them out. Wishing you comfort, healing, inner peace, and a feeling of safety to be YOU!
With Love and Light,
Roxanne ♥ XOXOXO
Hello Everyone! Sorry to be late with this post– So much has happened since my last post. I had intended to release Part 2 last week but, after my performance on Oct. 6, I was unexpectedly exhausted–I slept 8 hours then I took a 6 hour nap the day after my show! I was shocked and woke up feeling like Rip Van Winkle lol! I continued to be tired on and off this week and was feeling brain fog and lots of emotional healing to do from having broken through another glass ceiling for myself. This show was my first 3 hour gig on a saturday night and my highest paying gig to boot! It went even better than expected too because I had to play all the guitar by myself for the entire 3 hour gig (I usually hire someone to play guitar with). I prepared a set list that was 1/2 originals and 1/2 covers and all songs that I could play confidently and I practiced at least an hour a day to have the proper callouses by then. It was a duo show accompanied by my friend who plays beautiful mandolin and bass (alternating depending on the needs of each song). I made my best tips ever too that night so this gig was a success on many levels and as always that brings up more inner child pain to acknowledge and release–having given up on my music for so many years.
I’m so grateful to realize I can do things I never dared to dream to be doing and yet now I am doing it! It’s been indescribably surreal and emotional causing parts of me to want to go into hiding again to protect myself from feeling it and other parts of me are so excited to be at the next level and wanting more success!–the latter is the voice I am listening to!
Preparing for this big performance was also emotional and so 5 days prior to the show I had one of those days I couldn’t function well because of intense emotions brewing inside me. Whenever this happens I always turn to pen and paper to write out my feelings in longhand to gain clarity–and on Oct 1 a long poem burst forth in poetic rhyming fashion just like my other poems on my healing writings page. I’ve been writing songs and journaling consistently but I haven’t written a Poem in a year or 2! It is still in longhand at the present moment but I will be sharing it here on this blog after I get it typed up properly. I’m naming it “Emerging With Poetic News” so look for it in an upcoming post after this “heart to heart update series”.
Okay now so back to Part 2! I’ll just start in with this. …In keeping with my explanation of my journey away from the blog since 2012: I was feeling spread too thin to keep up with this blog, I was going to open mic nights to overcome my fear of singing in public, and I was making an album of my original songs which was a dream come true. It was 2012 when this blog and my coaching business were at their peak but I couldn’t do both–my heart told me that focusing on the music was the right thing to do. My health problems improved dramatically and I overcame my severe stagefright and made important musical connections in my city. I performed my songs with my guitar for free at open mics but I still had a long way to go.
The album was released on iTunes in 2014. I still had never performed for money yet. I had no income, just a dream and spiritual guidance from an intuitive counselor mentor that I trusted who helped me to see that my songs of hope and healing are helping others and they are a big part of my true purpose in this lifetime. This deeply resonated as I had accumulated 50 original songs by now that had poured out of me fairly easily in a creative process that I had developed which felt as if I channeled their creation from my higher self. I knew that I must become the singer-songwriter that I longed to be in my heart and share my journey of hope, healing, and upliftment through my songs.
As soon as my album was self-published and released on iTunes, I had a surgery in fall 2014 to correct varicose veins that ended up setting me back on my health journey–sensitive to the high levels of epinephrine that was used in this outpatient procedure that spanned 4 weeks time, my adrenal fatigue came back with a vengeance. I stopped with the open mic nights too and focused on regaining my health.
Continuing to write songs, I realized my house and it’s constant needs for updates and repairs were too much for me and my husband. So we followed our hearts and intuitive guidance from my intuitive counselor that it was best that we move and leave the 18 year old house where we’d raised our 2 now grown children and find a place that I could focus on my music and have less maintenance to worry about. For a sentimental sensitive person like myself this was quite a challenge–purging many things to make the move easier.
By fall of 2016 we found the perfect home in a different part of the city and, after a rollercoaster year of searching and decluttering, we were all moved into a wonderful new home that (magically 😇 ✨) met all of our needs. Long story short, it took until fall of 2017 for me to feel ready to start reaching out and looking for paid gigs to perform my original songs of hope and healing….
…To be continued in Part 3 coming in a couple weeks.
Sending all of you Peace and Love and Light from Above,