Category Archives: John Gray
(These messages are to be shared for all who resonate and are open to receiving spiritual guidance. This includes Empaths, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), Lightworkers, Spiritually Awakening Souls, Earth Angels, and to all Seekers and Open-hearted souls.
This message will be added my Channeled Angel Messages Page on my blog which has posts of angel messages that I am now posting there weekly or bi-weekly. There you will find all the other messages from 6 Archangel Guides (most of the time it is 6 but it changes) that I have posted since November, 2018.)
Hello Everyone! I have another channeled angel message for you! This time Archangel Ariel joined my usual 6 Archangel Guides for this message.
Archangel Ariel is the Archangel of the Natural World and is a healing angel using nature to help us Rejuvenate! She has a special connection to nature, animals, and elementals and helps us connect with these for our own comfort and healing. She is also a powerful aid in manifesting abundance in our lives. She’s the “Lioness of God” helping us with confidence to get out of our comfort zone and “go for it!” She has a feminine light pink energy of divine love that she shines strongly to comfort us and remind us of the strength in our divine nature.
Before I channeled this message I checked in with each of the Archangels to confirm their presence. I detected another Archangel and when I asked who it was I was told the name Ariel. Then I felt the amazing essence of this new angelic guide who wants to contribute to these messages to all of you. I feel so honored to be the one who gets to be the messenger of this important angelic information from these 7 Archangels–it all comes through as a singular group consciousness message. Here is the latest message!:
Channelled Angel Message on Aug. 23, 2019
“Dear Ones, We are so happy to be giving you this message today. We see you are weary from the energies of this past week. At the same time you accomplished much in the way of your own healing and knowing what you must do next on your journey to fulfilling your life’s purpose. It hasn’t been an easy week but you are somehow also grateful for where you are now from all that you have learned. You are aware that you need some rest and then you will have a burst of energy to get things done that you are excited about.
You are listening to your inner guidance and have new clarity of direction in some areas and other areas are still cloudy. Trust that you will be guided to the other paths when the time is right. You are tweeking your plans somewhat to fit your personalities to fit the fine line between your comfort zone and taking some risks that feel right to you. You have learned from past experience to not go too far out on a limb BUT you are more comfortable with being your true spiritual selves in ways you haven’t been comfortable before.
You know you are here on a mission to help the planet be a better place and you are ready to shine your light brighter than ever before. We are proud of you as we see you have learned to pace yourselves and have learned much about self-care, grounding and taking baths or getting in nature when you feel drained. We are proud of your new found clarity about when you are feeling the feelings of others and how to release these energies and recharge in your own pure love energies. Wow! This is such a valuable tool for your life—you can recharge from any trigger or stressful situation knowing you can always connect to pure love which you are seeing is your natural state of being. Yay! Congratulations!
Another thing we see happening for you is that you are embracing whatever life throws up to challenge you rather than dread being triggered again by loved ones. Recent events have helped you to see that you are the stronger one emotionally and by staying calm and shining love on a person who is in a negative state you understand now that you are shortening this conflict in big ways and getting to the lesson or feelings that are to be released very quickly.
You are excited about so many things, you are able to prioritize the things that tax your time and even cut out doing things you used to do so you can be more productive during your day. You have a new determination to achieve your goals because you know you are good at these things and you see the service that you bring to others with your gifts. Yes, it is an exciting time right now. We want to encourage you to keep on seeing yourself in a positive light even when you are tired and need a rest. Others may not understand this need for rest so you can rest without others knowing if this makes it easier—you are stopping yourselves from complaining and wanting others to validate your tiredness—you see that they are not going to understand because they are not where you are on your soul’s journey.
The emotional healing that you have done has caused you to be very aware of your feelings, body, and mind whereas others in your life are still needing to avoid and numb out their feelings with different vices that no longer interest you. A big challenge for you is to let them learn for themselves—your results with your new ways of being are a role model for them and you do not need to say a word. Your results will be clear to you and to them in an unspoken and yet deeply satisfying way for you—You KNOW you are teaching them there is a better way to attract abundance that is not forced but comes from following a flow of your heart’s desire and inner guidance that only comes from getting out of the the left brain’s linear thought flow and following the heart and right brain feeling-side or meditative “intuitive” side.
Writing in a journal connects you to your right brain and inner guidance and access to pure love. We know we keep talking about this but we feel it is important for those who are very resistant to writing about their feelings or deepest most private self. Excavating your true feelings is like being an archeologist digging for answers to “why”—This an idea talked about in a book by author Gary Zukav. It is in finding the origins in your childhoods or past lives that you can heal the foundational patterns that were formed that keep you from moving forward towards your dreams, desires, and true purpose for being here on the planet.
Once you have these tools to be utilized anytime confusing feelings knock you off of your center, you can regain your balance by writing and asking us angels, or your higher self, or God or the Universe (whichever term resonates) what is really going on? Often you may be believing your negative thoughts rather than seeing those thoughts from a higher perspective. Ask in your writing “Where did they come from?—When did they originate?” An aha moment or insight may come to you about an incident from childhood. If this happens then shine self-compassion to the tiny child who did the best he or she could from what he or she knew at the time.
Survival patterns got engrained back then and when you shine light on these scars they can finally be healed. Grieving the loss of the freedom to be your true self as a child takes time and so much self-compassion and self LOVE. You deserved love and now you can give it to yourself. And us angels are here to help with this process of emotional healing so that you can shine your light as bright as possible each step of the way to wholeness and becoming your higher self in your ascension journey.
Be very kind to yourself every day and especially on days when dread or shame or anxiety pops up from out of the blue. Often this happens when you’ve recently had a success or reached a new level of receiving love in your life—this concept was talked about by John Gray in several of his books—he says: “Pain comes up to heal when things are going well”. He is right. The old is clearing out to make room for even more love but it confuses you when it arises because you believe it to be true when it is just negativity on the way out of your body. Imagine it leaving you as an energy no longer needed for you to survive.
The quickest way is to just slow down with big deep breaths and say “I breathe in love” and “I breathe out love” with each breath. Imagine yourself surrounded by only loving energy in a big protective bubble around you. Have fun in your bubble of freedom and love. Imagine yourself swimming or flying around in your bubble however your inner child desires and people who may disapprove of your freedom can only watch you swim freely as if watching a fish in a gold fish bowl. You are safe and free to swim in your own bubble of love any time you want. Haha!
We hope you have fun and laugh with visualizations like this. You deserve to have fun in life and not be so serious all the time. Not being able to have fun in life certainly can stem from a childhood of not feeling safe enough to relax and even be in your own bodies due to emotional trauma. This can be from past lives too or when you were young adults and not always childhood. Often though, sensitive souls and empaths have chosen traumatic childhoods to replicate trauma from past lives that were never healed yet—this present life has much opportunity for you to finally heal these deep wounds and your higher self knows you are strong enough if you will only LISTEN.
Listen to the promptings of your compassionate heart to be kind to yourself and stop the harsh self-talk that keeps you believing the untruths that were formed out of survival. Give yourself the unconditional love that you so freely are able to give to others—especially when you are having an unproductive day—be kinder instead of making yourself “tough it out and ignore your pain”. Pain is a teacher to awaken you to your SELF. Dear ones, you are doing such a good job on this complex journey—being a human is so complex!
You don’t have to figure it all out quickly. We like the quote: “You don’t have to change yourself you only need to love yourself”. It takes time to heal all the layers and we want you to know you are doing a great job! We love you and we understand you because we are you—we are your brothers and sisters from the archangel realm and we honor your bravery to volunteer for this mission to shine your love and light on planet earth. Take care of your precious energy so you may find your niche and thrive in abundance.
We will be back soon with another message through Roxanne who is our pure channel of love, comfort, and support for all empaths, sensitive souls, and all divine souls who resonate with these messages. Our last word to you is to take a break from all your work and emotional healing and have some fun! You deserve to laugh and be silly and dance, sing, relax, and at least do something that makes you smile whether it’s a movie, or dinner out, or finding some live music somewhere to enjoy being in your human body. Be creative with whatever sparks fun for your inner child.
We love you and we are proud of you and we are having an angel dance party right now cheering you on! Until next time, love and light and FUN, from Archangel (AA) Muriel (AA of Empaths), AA Chamuel (AA of Comfort), AA Jophiel (AA of Creativity and Beauty), AA Sandalphon (AA of Grounding and Music, AA Uriel (AA of Wisdom), AA Azriel (AA of Grieving Loss and Transitions), and for the first time Archangel Ariel joined in and is encouraging you to get out of the house and take a walk or bike ride in nature to rejuvenate your soul. It’s fun too, she says!”
I hope you enjoyed this message!
Peace and Love,
Hi everyone. Today I was out on my patio getting my morning dose of Vitamin D from the sun (hallelujah, the warmth is finally here to stay!) and writing down ideas for my next post. When I was finished, the song “Hurts So Good” by John Mellencamp came on the radio I was listening to. You know the one…”sometimes love don’t feel like it should…” Anyway, I had to laugh out loud with amazement as it seemed like a sign from the universe/God that my topic was approved–it seemed clear that I should trust my intuition to write about what I had decided to focus on and that was: what hurts the most in life emotionally can reveal the truth of who we really are–and physical pain can teach us the exact lesson we need to learn to move forward–both kinds of pain help us grow and heal to become our best selves.
Of course the lyrics of the song do not imply that, but the title jumped out at me as confirmation and I have always loved that song! It always makes me want to get up and dance and celebrate being alive for some reason. Sometimes when you are feeling the pain from childhood wounds, acknowledging you were wronged, and you know you didn’t deserve it, you feel so much more alive and you have the right to your feelings about it!! Your anger can be channeled into positive energy to take action for your self and improving your life and moving forward towards your dreams! Also the song implies that you know how love should feel but you are willing to take the painful risk of loving again for the chance of being loved in return.
I so look forward to dancing again to songs like this and forgot how much I missed it until it was taken away when I recently injured my back/hip (S.I. joint)! My pain has almost completely healed. Yay! I still have restricted movements but I have so much to look forward to. And I am on my way to complete healing and I learned much–I will spare you the details until the end of this post for those interested.
Okay, so about the lessons to be learned from the emotionally painful things that happen to us…. I believe that all of us are here on this planet to learn lessons about who we are, what we are capable of, how to achieve inner peace, love ourselves the way we deserved to be loved, and how we can use our gifts to help others. For those of us who are gifted with high sensitivity and intuition it is so difficult to figure these things out until we realize that a lot of the pain we experienced as children was pain of the people around us that we just absorbed and internalized as our own.
One of the most complex examples contributing to many of my clients’ childhood wounds are when the parent is a malignant narcissist. I am sharing these examples of extreme cases in the hopes that they will be the most helpful. When a malignant narcissist starts to feel any emotional pain they get rid of it immediately by blaming the people around them. The highly sensitive child is the perfect target to take away the malignant narcissist’s pain because they absorb it completely and don’t retaliate. As kind and loving spirits, highly sensitive compassionate children would never dream of blaming someone else for anything so they can’t imagine that their parent might be wrong or sick or unhealthy in any way. Now that they are adults they are starting to see the light of how they were “used” to take away the parent’s shame, self-hatred, blame, and self-doubt. Hsps can heal as they acknowledge the truth that they were fine before malignant narcissistic parents took away their hopes and dreams and gave them their pain in its place. They absorbed it all and believed it to be true–saying to themselves, “I am to blame, there is something wrong with me, I am not good enough, I must try really hard to be someone else other than who I am in order to be loved, I am not as good as I think I am, I cannot trust my feelings, I must not make any mistakes, I am unloveable, I am unworthy, I hate myself, or I must be a disgusting human being for upsetting my parent in such a way.” This is what a highly sensitive compassionate child can determine to be true when they are not seen for the kind and sensitive soul they are but used for the dumping ground of the negative emotions of a highly dysfunctional family.
They numb their feelings to survive as children–They repress the pain and decide to be obedient (if they were the Golden Child) or they rebel (if they were the Scapegoat). Either way their mind protects them with illusions about their parents in this case because they need them to survive. They were after all children doing the best they knew how–there is no way for a sensitive child to detect danger when for as long as they can remember, this is what a loving family looks and feels like and it is ingrained in the neural pathways in their brains. They believed the distorted view that their malignant narcissistic parent presented to them and insisted upon because they believe in the goodness of life innately–they trust completely which is a beautiful thing. It is a wondrous gift to be able to trust in life, to trust in the universe, that it will support them and show them the way if they trust their feelings and our intuition. We have the inner guidance and wisdom to be happy and fulfilled, enlightened and loving, full of vitality with the perseverance to press on through the ups and downs of life. They all (HSPs) have this ability inside of them, this trust in the goodness of life, but it was taken away from them.
But what happened to them is not really about them at all. They were victims, yes, but they don’t have to be victims ever again when they work through the truth of what happened to them as children–layer by layer, injustice by injustice, voicing the truth of how much it hurt, how they didn’t deserve it, and see how they lost their trust in themselves and their feelings. Once you start this process of healing the layers, you feel lighter and a little kinder to yourself each time. It is a blessing when you are in the midst of an episode of despair because someone you trusted criticized you and you suddenly realize, “Oh wait, this is how I felt as a child when my malignant narcissistic mother would feel threatened when I expressed a brilliant creative idea and put it down–I was smarter than she was!” –or something to this effect.
DOCUMENTING YOUR TRUTH STATEMENTS is a method I invented during my years as a life coach. Journaling these revelations by writing statements of what you learned about yourself when a new layer of pain is uncovered helps to document your progress. Then when you are feeling lost, depressed, or blocked make yourself get out your journal and read over these statements and you will see the true voice of your soul being uncovered. Statements like “I had brilliant creative ideas as a child”, “I discovered I was actually smart”, “I was kind, caring and innocent and did not deserve to be criticized and abused!” These are truths come to light and will forever be true about you–they will help you change the internalized beliefs about yourself so you will develop your true voice. This will help you stop listening to your inner critic and say,” No! That is not true about me”. Then say your new-found personalized positive affirmations (truth statements) to yourself instead. Your self-doubts will gradually fade and your confidence will grow stronger and stronger.
Childhood pain comes up to be healed in layers–it is like the truth of your untold story from childhood wants to be told and when you are strong enough, the painful feelings pop up unexpectedly in your lives. You sometimes unconsciously provoke painful situations in our lives so that the original trauma can be healed. For example: you are feeling grouchy, irritable, numb, and lost, and you criticize your husband for not supporting you enough, for not just listening, (he is trying to solve it and tell you what to do and you just want to be listened to and heard). He responds with, “Something else must be wrong because I have been listening to you a lot lately but you are still really grouchy.” You blow up and yell, “I wanted an apology but instead you are attacking me” and you fall in a heap of crying, blaming, angry despair. The feelings directed at your husband are so real to you but you are actually experiencing post traumatic stress from your childhood. Your husband deserves about 10% of the anger that you are feeling but the other 90% is from your childhood. (90/10 Principle. John Gray,…Venus and Mars).
In that moment you are reexperiencing the unresolved feelings of your self as a small child with legitimate needs to be seen and reassured and loved–you were perhaps rejected by a malignant narcissistic mother who was too busy with her own agenda to stop and be the loving mother you needed in that moment. Perhaps instead she lashed out at you for being too sensitive, told you to knock it off and be quiet so she could think. When you cried harder she may have slapped you on the bottom, screamed at you, and told you that you were giving her a headache and to go play somewhere. You went to your bedroom and cried and cried and she ignored you–you felt rejected, scared, and humiliated but you felt so ashamed that your mother was angry at you that you wiped away your tears and went out and said, “I’m sorry Mommy I will try to be good”. Then, she smiles at you and says, something like, “good, you learned your lesson about obeying me”.
This is horrible abuse for a highly sensitive gifted child whose only way of surviving this situation is to be a shell of her former self, deny all of her legitimate feelings and needs for pursuing her gifts and talents and dreams, and become a little robot shell of a person with all her feelings pushed way down deep to the point of repression. A child incorporates the internalized message of, I must not trust my feelings or I will upset my mother/father and I need her/him. To the less than sensitive observer this exchange seems harmless enough and they might even think “what a good child” or worse “what a good parent to have such a child that obeys so well”. That is one reason that it is difficult for HSPs to change our negative beliefs about ourselves–most of society doesn’t yet understand or support a childs need to express needs contrary to the parent in charge.
You won’t feel guilty about leaving your abusive narcissistic family members behind when you understand that if malignant narcissists are in emotional pain for even a second, they lash out and blame someone else for it–they are not feeling pain the way you and I do–they get rid of it immediately. They put on acts of great suffering because they know it works to make us feel guilty. Don’t fall for it–it is all an act. They are going about their merry way without a trace of remorse or guilt. They pull out the tears and anguish when other family members are around to get them against you–they get relief and control back from these antics so don’t feel guilty about leaving all of the craziness behind.
So back to how pain is helping you have a better life…. The truth too painful to bear as children has to come up as the painful truth or you can’t acknowledge that it happened, release it, learn from it, and find yourself! It is a painful process but you are worth it! Your true voice has been in hiding for far too long. Next time something happens to you that is so painful it makes you want to give up on a person, try telling yourself, “this pain is exactly how I felt as a child when ___ happened to me!” Then write it out with all the pent-up emotion you can conjure up and see if you don’t feel better when as you write you realize you were an innocent victim and have a right to all of those feelings!
You may just be so grateful for the realization that you were a child who deserved so much more that you will even feel grateful for the person in the present that hurt you! They helped you bring a painful truth from your childhood to the surface to be healed. You healed a layer of pain from your childhood! On to the next! Soon you will begin believing in your goodness and see your inner wisdom and kindness. You will begin attracting only loving giving people like you because your bright shining light of your special highly sensitive intuitive soul can now shine through the existing layers making them much easier to process through. The illusions that helped you survive will fall away and a new-found confidence and ease will emerge.
So remember, from the layers of pain and hurt emerges the wonderful and amazing true YOU! You can do it! I hope that my words can assist you through this complex healing process.
Okay, now for the health update: The recent painful injury to my low back/hip sacroiliac joint (S.I.) is another example of how the universe/God helps us along our path with painful obstacles that are lessons in disguise.
My holistic chiropractor was unable to answer my many questions about what I could and couldn’t do and what would help and hinder my recovery. So I made an appointment with a physical therapist that was prescribed by my family doctor. She was able to tell me exactly what ligaments I had sprained, the reasons for my pain, exactly what movements to avoid and which ones were so safe so I could heal in the fastest amount of time. She explained exactly why it had happened to me–with no core strength in my pelvis from lack of exercise, the ligaments were sprained severely requiring 6 to 8 weeks to heal completely.
She explained that sitting and standing hurts because those actions depend entirely on the ligaments I strained, whereas walking uses different muscles. I can sit for a one hour at a time now, can drive for short periods, am allowed to walk on flat surfaces only, and should avoid all stairs as much as possible until I am fully healed. She showed me the correct way to pick up something from the floor, bending at the knees and holding onto something for support–I had been doing it wrong every time. She has given me homework of daily exercises to start strengthening my core muscles as I heal and I am doing them diligently!
Before I went to my physical therapist, there were 3 occasions when I had no pain in the morning (that is usually when I was in the most pain). I had gotten so excited I ended up doing too much that day and the next day I paid for it with pain that sent me back to the couch with ice and rest. The third time it happened I had this surreal moment of anguish but at the same time a moment of grace and surrender–a reminder of how, even though I was exiled to the couch, I had a glimpse of what I had learned spending most of the month of May on the couch unable to move without the severe pain recurring. The month of May gave me an entirely new perspective on my life and this moment of grace made me permanently slow down and appreciate that the small things in life were actually huge things to be grateful for.
It made me realize: the things I missed being able to do most were things I did not expect because they were lost in all the busy activities I took for granted. I missed most being able to sit up and play my guitar and sing my songs without pain. I missed being able to sit and write creatively on my computer for long periods (my last post I had to write and edit in long hand first). I missed being pain-free so that I could concentrate again and get back to coaching my clients–having chronic pain is exhausting and I had to put my coaching on hold for a while (but it has now resumed 🙂 ). Biking, hiking, and dancing were also activities I loved and never found time for. These are all things that have now been moved even higher on my priority list–maybe this injury is the only way for me to really learn what is most important to me in life.
A bonus from all this is that my husband had no idea how much I did around our home and has a new appreciation for all the years I spent managing our home because suddenly, he had to do it all! I didn’t even realize how much I took on. Now he has wonderfully agreed to continue taking on his share of these tasks even after I fully recover (including half of the grocery shopping 🙂 ). After all, I have a successful career too now and it is only fair! My husband was really amazed at how much work it was and he now has a new appreciation of how much time and energy I spent doing it. As I recover I am learning to delegate tasks that need taken care of, but more important than that, I learned to just let the unimportant things go so we can just spend more quality time together and be in the moment enjoying life! I am very grateful for a husband with such a kind and compassionate soul.
With every new victory in my physical abilities, we celebrate together and both of us appreciate our life together and our health so much more. Soon I will be able to dance again. We both loved to go out dancing together when we were younger–why don’t we do that more often! Now with my physical therapist teaching me core strengthening exercises, I am determined to get strong and enjoy things with my husband that we both love to do together: biking, hiking, and dancing! Yay! Through pain came important changes: the ability to slow down, be grateful, and relax and live in the moment; delegating tasks so I have more time to commit to the work and activities that I love; commiting to getting and keeping core strength and stamina; and letting the unimportant things go!
I hope my words have inspired you to look for and find the lessons amidst all the wonderful ups and painful downs of life. I hope I have helped you to find strength in the truth re-experienced by your wise and gifted inner child. And I hope I’ve helped you to slow down and discover the joys in the small blessings in your life.
Hi everyone. The day after I started writing on this blog for the very first time you might be able to guess what happened–I woke up in the morning with the dreaded feeling of Guilt like a black cloud hanging over my head. In the past I might have felt guilty and spiraled into negativity but thank goodness I knew what to do. I observed this feeling instead of falling into it. I was actually grateful for my new awareness of knowing and being able to label this feeling as Guilt. (I used to just feel numb or a generalized anxiety in the morning–it was a familiar and comfortable state–it was how I survived as a child.) I said to myself, okay this makes sense to feel this feeling today after the success of my first blog. This is Childhood Pain Coming Up to Heal Because Things Are Going Well. This powerful phrase has helped my husband and I so many times. I learned about this from John Gray–in one of the last chapters in his Venus and Mars book. This was one tiny section which I feel was so important he could’ve written a whole book on it for the impact it made on my husband and I.
I realized I had internalized shame that showed up after I had successes that made me feel good about myself. I believe ultimately as a small child that I believed “there is something wrong with me. I am guilty–it is all my fault.” To survive I had to repress all the anger and fear at having been blamed unfairly. I was a highly sensitive child. I desperately needed love and approval. So I settled for conditional love–I became an obedient and anxious shell of a person.
So I had expressed my true authentic self by writing my truth and my inner child was expecting to be punished and blamed and felt guilty. What I have learned is that the strong part of me which now knows the truth is able to comfort the wounded child in me that still feels fear and insecurity and blamed and guilty. See, as a child we make decisions and believe them so thoroughly it’s very hard to change the neural pathways in our brains that are so deeply set. The negative thoughts are so automatic–that’s how we survived. But we can change those pathways in our brains by becoming aware that the negative things we are saying to ourselves are from a wounded child’s perspective! As highly sensitive people, we know how to nurture and love and comfort other people through their self-doubt and fear–so by taking that wounded child inside of you and comforting yourself you can change your inner child’s beliefs about yourself and the pathways of negative spiraling thoughts. Realizing that I had to be the one to love myself and that noone was going to do it for me was a big revelation and turning point for me. Learning to comfort myself with positive affirmations and taking it easy when these big overwhelming feelings come up is now something that comes much easier.
So do I still feel guilty about my speaking out and writing on this blog? In a way the guilt is still there but it is small and completely manageable. And the part of me that is strong, wise, and knows the truth is keeping it in check–telling the wounded child in me that it is going to be okay and I am doing the right thing by speaking my truth. Do I have days when I still succumb to the child part in me and spiral negatively and beat myself up in despair? No, not any longer but I used to and it was a gradual process to get me where I am now. It used to happen mostly in the mornings and sometimes I couldn’t stop it right away. But then, there usually came a time of awareness a short time later, on the same day, when I realized this was a brand new layer of unbearable pain from my childhood that came up to heal because things were going well. My inner child felt safe enough to show it to me and say hey this really bad injustice happened to me and I needed to let it out finally. These are days when I put everything else aside–my list of things to do can wait until tomorrow. I allow myself to grieve for the childhood I never had and deserved. I comfort myself with my favorite things and am nice to myself like I deserved to be treated as a child-legitimate needs that went unmet until now are being healed–by me. I am a nurturing, supportive, comforting mom to myself. I can do it! And so can you. Ultimately this process is what a good empathic coach or inner child counselor is for. They are someone you can trust with the pain of your inner child to help you figure out the truth of what really happened and help you grieve. Then, when you can comfort yourself through the worst of the feelings that come up, then you know you no longer need the coach. You can take care of and love yourself through anything!
Thank you for reading! I hope my words have been helpful to you.