Category Archives: Extreme self care

Unknown Tips About the Benefits of Crying

Hello Everyone!Ā āœØšŸ’–āœØĀ Just sharing some tips on emotional healing. Pass this on to friends who may be silently hurting:

*It’s helpful to think of Crying as a healthy release.

*Every time you cry you are releasing and healing something.

*Crying alone can be extremely healing—because most people can’t handle other people crying and so then the other person’s reaction complicates the release process—even well-meaning friends.

*Everyone knows ā€œgrieving-cryingā€ is healthy…—for example sometimes the loss being grieved is deeply hidden and confusing like the repressed loss of freedom to be ā€œOne’s SELFā€ in childhood.

*…But even ā€œdespairing-cryingā€ is healthy and releasing too! Because it’s been held in sooo long and now it’s finally ready to leave your energetic system. Afterwards imagine it’s a layer of pain gone forever! You healed it! Be kind and gentle to yourself after! Congratulate yourself! It’s scary but you got through it! Be proud of yourself—don’t judge it!

So Remember!:

Crying is ALWAYS Releasing and Healing!

Just don’t let judgement keep it from completing it’s full release. Let it go! Gone!Ā šŸ„³šŸŽ‰ā£ļøIt always feels better to have a good cry!

Peace and Love,

RoxanneĀ āœŒļøšŸ’–āœØ

Holiday Help! Tips For Super Self-Compassion and Lavish Self-Love!

Hello Everyone! I’m sending Love and Comfort to everyone who feels emotional pain right now with the holidays approaching. It’s your wounded ā€œinner childā€ just needing some extra love from …YOU! Take some time to write/journal from your inner child’s perspective—you deserved to be seen and loved and you did not get it!

Now you can give it to yourself! šŸ’ž You are a gifted, sensitive soul! If you need someone to listen and be a witness, hold space for you as you grieve the losses of an unhappy childhood, I can help. Just reach out to truevoicelifecoaching.com. But It is not my intention to sell services right now but to just purely give comfort to those who need it!

Please know you are loved from above and you have a guardian angel sending you insights to help you right this minute. Maybe it is your guide that is inspiring me to share this message so that you will see it! šŸ˜‡ There is so much hope because LOVE heals and you are pure love that’s still learning how to flow. We all are! You are not alone.

I hope that you will feel free to do what makes your soul feel comforted with no apologies. Having a good cry can do wonders to clear it all out if you haven’t allowed yourself this luxury. Permission granted to release all your despairing feelings that have been held inside. I’m always amazed how much better I feel after a good hard cry! It’s always quicker than I think it will be too! What’s life for anyway if we can’t be REAL, right?!

We all need comfort sometimes and some of us need it more than others. Often the most gifted, creative souls feel the most misunderstood and so can’t find the way to share their gifts with the world. Remember the Beatles song HELP—it’s a universal human necessity to reach out for help. We all need help sometimes.

Comforting and guiding those who are doing their inner child healing work is my purpose—through my songs, through my Reiki, and through my session work with clients. I feel so blessed that through my own healing journey I discovered the joy of helping others find their creative flow and wholeness again.

So I am sending you love and wishing you a Holiday that is rich in self-compassion and comfort!! You deserve it! Along with you favorite select food indulgences, take an extra heaping helping of Lavish Self-Love, and Super Self-Compassion—(I know that you are the opposite of selfish in general as you tend to put everyone else’s needs before your own. It’s time for that people-pleasing to stop and for your own healing to go to the top of your to-do list. No more doing things out of obligation that drain your precious energy).Ā  Yes, this message is meant for YOU! āœØšŸ˜āœØ

So in conclusion, I want to tell you that I am thinking of you all and wishing you a Thanksgiving weekend filled with love and all of your favorite things! Think of this blog community as your soul Family who knows and appreciates you best and always will!

Sending heartfelt hugs, lavish love, and warm wishes of caring comfort,

Roxanne šŸ˜˜šŸ’–āœØ

P.S. Oh I just decided to add this. 😁 Here’s my Thanksgiving Song–Original song entitled “I’m Grateful”. I just released this video of my debut “live” performance of this song yesterday. I hope you enjoy it.Ā  AND below that I’m also including a video of my son and I singing together on a Christmas song that I wrote–it’s silly (and was recorded 5 years ago) but it comes with my (our 😊) deepest love and blessings to cheer up anyone who needs a boost over the holidays. We both still love to watch it.Ā  I hope you do too! (The lyrics to both songs are visible in the description boxes of the videos if you watch them on the YouTube channel–just click the “YouTube” at the bottom of these videos that appears after you press play and it will take you there, then click “show more” under the video to see the lyrics…)

I’d love to hear from you!Ā  Please comment belowā£ļøšŸ’«šŸ¦‹šŸ’—šŸ˜ƒ

New Channeled Angel Message–August 2019 Update Part 2 For Empaths and Sensitive Souls

(These messages are to be shared for all who resonate and are open to receiving spiritual guidance.Ā  This includes Empaths, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), Lightworkers, Spiritually Awakening Souls, Earth Angels, and to all Seekers and Open-hearted souls.

This message will be added myĀ Channeled Angel Messages Page on my blog which has posts of angel messages that I am now posting there weekly or bi-weekly.Ā  There you will find all the other messages from 6 Archangel Guides (most of the time it is 6 but it changes) that I have posted since November, 2018.)

Hello Everyone! I have another channeled angel message for you! This time Archangel Ariel joined my usual 6 Archangel Guides for this message.Ā Ā 

Archangel Ariel is the Archangel of the Natural World and is a healing angel using nature to help us Rejuvenate! She has a special connection to nature, animals, and elementals and helps us connect with these for our own comfort and healing.Ā  She is also a powerful aid in manifesting abundance in our lives.Ā  She’s the “Lioness of God” helping us with confidence to get out of our comfort zone and ā€œgo for it!ā€Ā  She has a feminine light pink energy of divine love that she shines strongly to comfort us and remind us of the strength in our divine nature.

Before I channeled this message I checked in with each of the Archangels to confirm their presence.Ā  I detected another Archangel and when I asked who it was I was told the name Ariel. Then I felt the amazing essence of this new angelic guide who wants to contribute to these messages to all of you. I feel so honored to be the one who gets to be the messenger of this important angelic information from these 7 Archangels–it all comes through as a singular group consciousness message. Here is the latest message!:

Channelled Angel Message on Aug. 23, 2019

“Dear Ones, We are so happy to be giving you this message today.Ā  We see you are weary from the energies of this past week. At the same time you accomplished much in the way of your own healing and knowing what you must do next on your journey to fulfilling your life’s purpose.Ā  It hasn’t been an easy week but you are somehow also grateful for where you are now from all that you have learned.Ā  You are aware that you need some rest and then you will have a burst of energy to get things done that you are excited about.Ā 

You are listening to your inner guidance and have new clarity of direction in some areas and other areas are still cloudy.Ā  Trust that you will be guided to the other paths when the time is right.Ā  You are tweeking your plans somewhat to fit your personalities to fit the fine line between your comfort zone and taking some risks that feel right to you.Ā  You have learned from past experience to not go too far out on a limb BUT you are more comfortable with being your true spiritual selves in ways you haven’t been comfortable before.Ā 

You know you are here on a mission to help the planet be a better place and you are ready to shine your light brighter than ever before.Ā  We are proud of you as we see you have learned to pace yourselves and have learned much about self-care, grounding and taking baths or getting in nature when you feel drained.Ā  We are proud of your new found clarity about when you are feeling the feelings of others and how to release these energies and recharge in your own pure love energies.Ā  Wow! This is such a valuable tool for your life—you can recharge from any trigger or stressful situation knowing you can always connect to pure love which you are seeing is your natural state of being. Yay! Congratulations!

Another thing we see happening for you is that you are embracing whatever life throws up to challenge you rather than dread being triggered again by loved ones.Ā  Recent events have helped you to see that you are the stronger one emotionally and by staying calm and shining love on a person who is in a negative state you understand now that you are shortening this conflict in big ways and getting to the lesson or feelings that are to be released very quickly.Ā 

You are excited about so many things, you are able to prioritize the things that tax your time and even cut out doing things you used to do so you can be more productive during your day.Ā  You have a new determination to achieve your goals because you know you are good at these things and you see the service that you bring to others with your gifts.Ā  Yes, it is an exciting time right now.Ā  We want to encourage you to keep on seeing yourself in a positive light even when you are tired and need a rest. Others may not understand this need for rest so you can rest without others knowing if this makes it easier—you are stopping yourselves from complaining and wanting others to validate your tiredness—you see that they are not going to understand because they are not where you are on your soul’s journey.Ā 

The emotional healing that you have done has caused you to be very aware of your feelings, body, and mind whereas others in your life are still needing to avoid and numb out their feelings with different vices that no longer interest you.Ā  A big challenge for you is to let them learn for themselves—your results with your new ways of being are a role model for them and you do not need to say a word. Your results will be clear to you and to them in an unspoken and yet deeply satisfying way for you—You KNOW you are teaching them there is a better way to attract abundance that is not forced but comes from following a flow of your heart’s desire and inner guidance that only comes from getting out of the the left brain’s linear thought flow and following the heart and right brain feeling-side or meditative ā€œintuitiveā€ side.Ā 

Writing in a journal connects you to your right brain and inner guidance and access to pure love.Ā  We know we keep talking about this but we feel it is important for those who are very resistant to writing about their feelings or deepest most private self.Ā  Excavating your true feelings is like being an archeologist digging for answers to ā€œwhyā€ā€”This an idea talked about in a book by author Gary Zukav.Ā  It is in finding the origins in your childhoods or past lives that you can heal the foundational patterns that were formed that keep you from moving forward towards your dreams, desires, and true purpose for being here on the planet.Ā 

Once you have these tools to be utilized anytime confusing feelings knock you off of your center, you can regain your balance by writing and asking us angels, or your higher self, or God or the Universe (whichever term resonates) what is really going on?Ā  Often you may be believing your negative thoughts rather than seeing those thoughts from a higher perspective. Ask in your writing ā€œWhere did they come from?—When did they originate?ā€ An aha moment or insight may come to you about an incident from childhood. If this happens then shine self-compassion to the tiny child who did the best he or she could from what he or she knew at the time.

Survival patterns got engrained back then and when you shine light on these scars they can finally be healed.Ā  Grieving the loss of the freedom to be your true self as a child takes time and so much self-compassion and self LOVE. You deserved love and now you can give it to yourself.Ā  And us angels are here to help with this process of emotional healing so that you can shine your light as bright as possible each step of the way to wholeness and becoming your higher self in your ascension journey.Ā 

Be very kind to yourself every day and especially on days when dread or shame or anxiety pops up from out of the blue.Ā  Often this happens when you’ve recently had a success or reached a new level of receiving love in your life—this concept was talked about by John Gray in several of his books—he says: ā€œPain comes up to heal when things are going wellā€.Ā  He is right. The old is clearing out to make room for even more love but it confuses you when it arises because you believe it to be true when it is just negativity on the way out of your body.Ā  Imagine it leaving you as an energy no longer needed for you to survive.Ā 

The quickest way is to just slow down with big deep breaths and say ā€œI breathe in loveā€ and ā€œI breathe out loveā€ with each breath.Ā  Imagine yourself surrounded by only loving energy in a big protective bubble around you. Have fun in your bubble of freedom and love.Ā  Imagine yourself swimming or flying around in your bubble however your inner child desires and people who may disapprove of your freedom can only watch you swim freely as if watching a fish in a gold fish bowl.Ā  You are safe and free to swim in your own bubble of love any time you want.Ā  Haha!

We hope you have fun and laugh with visualizations like this.Ā  You deserve to have fun in life and not be so serious all the time.Ā  Not being able to have fun in life certainly can stem from a childhood of not feeling safe enough to relax and even be in your own bodies due to emotional trauma.Ā  This can be from past lives too or when you were young adults and not always childhood.Ā  Often though, sensitive souls and empaths have chosen traumatic childhoods to replicate trauma from past lives that were never healed yet—this present life has much opportunity for you to finally heal these deep wounds and your higher self knows you are strong enough if you will only LISTEN.

Listen to the promptings of your compassionate heart to be kind to yourself and stop the harsh self-talk that keeps you believing the untruths that were formed out of survival.Ā  Give yourself the unconditional love that you so freely are able to give to others—especially when you are having an unproductive day—be kinder instead of making yourself ā€œtough it out and ignore your painā€. Pain is a teacher to awaken you to your SELF. Dear ones, you are doing such a good job on this complex journey—being a human is so complex!Ā 

You don’t have to figure it all out quickly. We like the quote: “You don’t have to change yourself you only need to love yourself”.Ā  It takes time to heal all the layers and we want you to know you are doing a great job!Ā  We love you and we understand you because we are you—we are your brothers and sisters from the archangel realm and we honor your bravery to volunteer for this mission to shine your love and light on planet earth. Take care of your precious energy so you may find your niche and thrive in abundance.Ā 

We will be back soon with another message through Roxanne who is our pure channel of love, comfort, and support for all empaths, sensitive souls, and all divine souls who resonate with these messages. Our last word to you is to take a break from all your work and emotional healing and have some fun!Ā  You deserve to laugh and be silly and dance, sing, relax, and at least do something that makes you smile whether it’s a movie, or dinner out, or finding some live music somewhere to enjoy being in your human body. Be creative with whatever sparks fun for your inner child.

We love you and we are proud of you and we are having an angel dance party right now cheering you on! Until next time, love and light and FUN, from Archangel (AA) Muriel (AA of Empaths), AA Chamuel (AA of Comfort), AA Jophiel (AA of Creativity and Beauty), AA Sandalphon (AA of Grounding and Music, AA Uriel (AA of Wisdom), AA Azriel (AA of Grieving Loss and Transitions), and for the first time Archangel Ariel joined in and is encouraging you to get out of the house and take a walk or bike ride in nature to rejuvenate your soul.Ā  It’s fun too, she says!”

I hope you enjoyed this message!

Peace and Love,

Roxanne āœŒļøšŸ˜‡šŸ’–āœØ

Part 2 Of My New Beginning Journey–How 2013 AMAZINGLY Gave Me Wings To Fly in 2014.

PART 2:

Your time as a caterpillar...

Hi Everyone. So much has happened since my last post, I want to update you about all that has transpired. In fall of 2012, I was drawn to look for a new family doctor for myself and just for fun googled Highly Sensitive Doctor in Indianapolis haha. Ā What I found was not a doctor who called himself highly sensitive but a doctor with amazing reviews from patients who said he was highly sensitive to their needs. Ā I made an appointment even though I felt I was in pretty good health at the time and didn’t really have any dire need–I just wanted a doctor who would understand and support my quest for the best holistic and alternative health care I could find.

I had to wait 3 months to get in with him but it was worth it. Ā He listened to all of my theories on how I had healed my food allergies, chronic fatigue, candidiasis, adrenal fatigue issues through holistic means and an anti-inflammatory gluten-free diet. I also shared how I was feeling pretty good considering my age and the impending hormonal changes. Ā He was impressed rather than skeptical and I was thrilled at his response. Ā Still he ordered a pretty extensive blood test to be sure and I am so glad he did. Ā The results came back that I had low thyroid function and had to be put on thyroid medication immediately!

Changes look negative, new to emergeThe amazing thing to me is it turned out he was a specialist in knowledge about the thyroid–the exact best person to help me with this particular condition! And so gave me a prescription for Armour thyroid which is the best naturally derived medication and it’s hard to find an open-minded Dr. who will prescribe it. Ā Another amazing thing was I didn’t have symptoms until I was waiting for those blood test results and I suddenly gained 15 pounds in 3 weeks even though I was eating extremely healthy and watching carbs and calories. Ā It was quite shocking to see my body react this way but also to know that I had the perfect kind of care at the exact right time.

And another amazing thing that happened was that during my first visit with that doctor a large Bald Eagle flew past the window and the Dr. was shocked and said Oh my gosh did you just see that?–with that I looked out the window and saw this beautiful majestic bald eagle flying in the air. This was in a busy neighborhood inside the city limits! Ā I was thrilled that the doctor felt as I did that this was quite an amazing and beautiful sight and agreed with me that maybe it had Ā been a special “sign” that I was in the right place at the right time–all this on the first visit before I found out about the thyroid issue!I Know that was you God...

Now at this point I am feeling really blessed and cared for from up above to be guided to just the right doctor at just the right time. Ā But I also had big questions now. Ā Why had I gotten thyroid problems with all my healthy lifestyle habits? Ā Well this doctor’s thorough questionnaire I had filled out helped me to see that I was working too much and I was feeling stressed even though I loved what I was doing, I was feeling pretty drained a lot of the time. Ā This is when my coaching was at a peak with a waiting list of clients and I was really loving all the success my inner child healing practice was doing for others and it was very fulfilling helping others heal.

When I did some research about low thyroid I found out that it is in the throat chakra which has to do with creative self-expression and I immediatelyĀ knew… Ā I hadn’t been singing. Ā All the songwriting had sort of stopped and I had been too busy with my coaching and I had stopped making time for my music. It was clear to me–I knew it deep inside–I am supposed to be singing and getting my then 40 (now over 50) original songs of hope and healing recorded and out to help others heal– as it was the songs that had helped me heal, Ā find my “voice”, and were the impetus to start the blogging and the coaching! Ā It had been the music that had started everything healing and moving forward to my vitality and inner peace and I realized I had neglected this important part of me. Ā So I cut back on my coaching and immediately felt better as I devoted time each week to resting, singing, and songwriting, and in May 2013 I started making professional recordings of my songs!follow your bliss, doors will open

At my second visit back with this doctor he gave me adrenal supplements and other vitamins saying it was the low adrenals affecting the thyroid and that he thought if I reduced stress and took care of myself I could gradually get off the thyroid medication. Ā And he was right! Ā I did it! Ā I worked on recording my songs all summer long and I also went to a new chiropractor who gave me Neuro-emotional Technique (NET) treatments each week. Ā By the end of summer I was completely off the thyroid medication! Ā And I still am! Ā Amazing!

Okay and there’s more amazing news. Ā That fall (2012) that I had just been put on thyroid medication I knew I wanted to do more singing but I wasn’t sure how I was going to move forward with it. Ā Well, one saturday night my husband and I decided to go to a little nearby bar that we had never been to before to listen to some live music. Ā And there was a young guy age 29 singing all of my favorite songs that I used to sing harmony to growing up and over the years. He was playing guitar and harmonica and was extremely talented but here he was in this little bar so I felt compelled to ask him if he’d be interested in helping me record my songs. Ā He said Yes! Ā He needed some extra money and I needed some professional help recording and guidance on how best to proceed with making an album.

Turns out that this guy turned out to be very professional indeed and the perfect guy to help me. Not only that, he slowly revealed to me as I got to know him, that he was very close to being signed with a music contract for his band with his original music, had met Clive Davis, had been flown to Hollywood several times, had opened for John Legend, and had many friends in the music business. Ā He is a songwriter too and he liked my songs and songwriting ability. Ā He liked my singing too but I had pretty bad stage fright to perform in public at that time and it was not even in my mind to attempt to overcome it–I was just planning to make an album, not perform.To live in fear…deny our dreams

But as our collaboration was working successfully, as my vocal coach he invited me to sing with him at his gigs so I could get used to performing! Ā At first it was one song, then 2, and by the end of the summer I was singing up to 8 songs with him at his gigs and had overcome my fear of performing on stage! Ā I got to sing harmony to my favorite songs from the Eagles, Bob Seger, John Mellencamp, Tom Petty etc., it was a dream come true! Ā And it was so much fun! (I have pictures of this on my music website).

The best part is he and I worked on my songs–we got 6 songs completely done, mixed, and produced by him, and he laid down the most beautiful guitar tracks for 22 more of my songs, and he taught me how to record and mix the rest of the songs by myself. Ā And with his encouragement I have been improving my own guitar playing skills as well so that I can start going to open mic nights while I record my songs. Ā And that’s what I am pursuing now!Words sing out

Wow, what a summer! Ā This fall and winter I have continued to write more songs and work on the albums and it is going really well! Ā I can’t wait to share my songs with all of you! Ā I have been working hard on this new music website and figuring out how to integrate all my work Ā so all my healing songs, coaching and blogging are easily accessible for those who will most find inspiration and healing from them.

Hole in my heartonly i can fillSo now I want to share with you a sample of an especially healing song from my new album A New Beginning that is one of my absolute favorites and I wrote it last summer. I hope you like it. Ā It’s call Hole In My Soul and here is a sample: Ā 

I am very excited to announce that all 6 professionally recorded healing songs from my new album are now available for purchase with free samples of each song for you to listen to first! Ā You can buy downloads of the songs there on the website www.RoxanneSmithMusic.com–all proceeds will go to continuing my work to help others heal from childhood emotional pain. Ā It’s a great cause! Ā I highly recommend playing the songs especially in the morning each day as you get ready–it will change your mood for the day and has a healing effect. Ā Many people have told me this and I have experienced it myself with my own songs which I feel were somehow “given” to me from “above” when I wrote them–they healed something deep inside. Think of it as part of your extreme-self-care healing routine each day which is so important for us survivors of childhood trauma. Ā We need to do extra kind and comforting things for ourselves each day! Ā These songs were written for you! Ā Please try it and let me know how it works for you. Ā My second album, Songs of Hope and Healing will have the most deeply healing songs on it and it is in the works as soon as this first album is complete. Ā I will be releasing each song individually as it gets finished so keep checking back for more song releases.

Thank you for reading today and please like my facebook community page (if you like it) called Higher Ground Haven– I haveĀ now attached it to this blog so that our community can reach out and grow and connect in even more ways than before. Ā I look forward to your comments and to meeting and seeing you on facebook where I will be posting updates and information about healing childhood wounds, narcissistic parents, highly sensitive people (HSPs), unblocking your creativity, and how to go for your dreams, as well as videos of me and my music. Ā Remember, you can create the life you desire in your heart. Ā You are a shining light of compassion and love. Ā You deserve comfort, encouragement, compassion, and a community of safety and healing support that we all missed out on as children. I hope you find all of that here on myĀ blog as your new Hope and Healing Haven. šŸ˜€You are important, you matter

Sending all of you much love and light and deep caring,

Roxanne

More Helpful Tips–For Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) With A Narcissistic Parent–Part 1

Hi everyone.Ā As highly sensitive people, many of you are struggling with how to cope with your relationship with your narcissistic parent and your unsupportive siblings and extended family.Ā  First of all I want to tell you that as a life coach for people with childhood wounds, I understand your pain and how hard it is. There is very little support in our society for not having a relationship with ones’ parents no matter how negative and destructive they are to you or were to you in your childhood.Ā  Many people have difficult parents but they tolerate them and seem to get by okay so why can’t you, right?Ā  The pressure is very real.Ā  But let me help you understand the difference between you (an HSP)Ā and everyone else with some more helpful tips that are very important for you toĀ know.

1. Know that your greatest giftĀ is your intuition.

As a highly sensitive person (HSP), you were naturally giving and loving and trusting as children. Ā You had high hopes for yourselves and others including your parents. Ā People with loving and supportiveĀ parents are more likely living lives full of vitality and creative fulfillment and healthy boundaries to keep negative, manipulative, harmfulĀ people at a distance naturally and sharing their unique gifts with others. Ā These people don’t feel guilty about not getting along with everyone–they just “know” there are some people who are unhealthy and dangerous–they pay attention to their natural instincts.Ā  But people with a narcissistic parent were taught at a very young age, even from birth not to trust their own instincts, their own intuition.Ā  The horrible thing about that is, that was their greatest gift, “their sensitive intuition”, and it was often used against them.

2. Know that you may have repressed a terrible trauma from your childhood–the loss of the knowledge of your gifts.

Possibly, if you had an N parent, then part of your sensitivities were seen as a gift for “them”.Ā  They could control you easily because of your trusting nature–so often they used fear to get you to be quiet, anger to getĀ you to obey, and shame to keep you from feeling independent and strong.Ā  And it worked. Ā You trusted them and needed them to take care of you and protect you from a world that overwhelmed your sensitive souls so you…experienced a trauma that caused you to shut down your true selves and become what they wanted you to become. Ā  Something happened that was “the last straw” for your fragile but wise self that was developing. Ā Typically it happens around age 5 or 6, according to Alice Miller (Author of The Drama of the GiftedĀ Child).Ā  After an incident that you can’t remember because you have repressed it, suddenly, you are obedient andĀ sweet wanting only to please.Ā  And please them you did.Ā  And that is why it is so hard for them to let go of you now. Ā You took care of them.Ā  Completely and amazingly.Ā  They felt loved by you and validated by you filling a void inside of them that was caused in their childhood.Ā  It is as if you were the loving parent thatĀ they never had.Ā  That is how gifted you were.Ā  ThoseĀ gifts of intuiting the needs of others are still there–they were just misused and abused by your needy and narcissistic parent.Ā  Those gifts of being a loving and giving and caretaking soul were mis-directed.

3. Know that your childhood holds the roots of your anxiety, self-doubt, post traumatic stress, andĀ co-dependence issues.

As you grew up and tried to do some of theĀ creative endeavors that were driven by your soul, your parent probably did not support you because they did not want you to leave them or stop taking care of their emotional needs or they just saw no harm in controlling you.Ā  As narcissistic parents with no conscience or guilt, it was easy for them to manipulate you, so they did.Ā  The pain of your original trauma at the age of 5 or 6 would come up for you each time you tried to express your true self and these outbursts of emotion may have been shamed and punished by your parent and made you give up each time.Ā  This is the beginning of the post traumatic stress that still plagues you today.Ā ” Why do I over-react in these explosive ways”, you may have asked yourself.Ā  This is why.Ā  Your true self and all your repressed feelings and desires from childhood still want badly to be heard and understood and validated and “loved”.Ā  Your narcissistic parent was not capable of giving you this love and still is not and never will be.Ā  Your love needs are still unmet.Ā  You searched for love from others but sometimes,Ā because parts of you are still undeveloped and childlike, you end up being attracted to people who seem wonderful and charming at first but then turn out to be needy and manipulative and unable to comfort you when you need it most–just like your N parent.

4. Know that there is hope and you can heal.

So what is a highly sensitive person with an N parent to do?Ā  You can heal and learn to love yourself and slowly unblock all those creative parts of yourself that never got a chance to be expressed.Ā  You can learn to trust your self and your gifts of emotional intelligence and intuition that were seemingly robbed from you and misused and abused.Ā  You can gain clarity amidst all the confusion, and hope amidst all the despair.Ā  You can learn that it is okay for you to say no to other people’s demands and put yourself first.Ā  You need to learn about extreme “self- care” (Cheryl Richardson–author of the book Life Makeovers) and you need a journal to pour into all the feelings from your deepest heart.Ā  You need support from like-minded, highly sensitive, safe people to share the pain and griefĀ from the loss of a childhood that feels as if it was taken away from you.Ā  All your desires and free impulses were repressed so that youĀ could survive with an illusion that your parent’s needs wereĀ more important than your own.Ā  But surviving was not really living your life.Ā  Surviving is not good enough.Ā  Your survival skills just cause you trouble because they are not driven by your heart, they are driven by a needy inner child trying to please a parent that felt unpleasable and without remorse about what they did to you.

5. Know that the answers are inside of you and support is available.

You need to take a new direction.Ā  A direction into your own soul.Ā  You need to excavate the desires of a child who never had a say in the development of his/her own life!Ā  Write it out!Ā  Talk it out! Cry it out!Ā  Shout it out!Ā  You can do this in a journal that is meant for your eyes only.Ā  Or you can find a counselor orĀ coach who does inner child healing therapy.Ā Ā It’s important to find support somewhere so you can find your true voice and express it.Ā  There are HSP meet-up groups in larger cities.Ā  You might also look into Unitarian churches or Unity churches to meet people of a spiritual nature who are not necessarily “religious”.

6. Know that no contact with a malignant narcissistic parentĀ is not just recommended so that you can get the time you need to heal, it is vital!

One of the first steps into this new direction of healing for yourself is ending the old song and dance and unhealthy relationship that you have with your narcissistic parent. Ā If you’ve tried everything else and you are still miserable, that means setting boundaries on contact is an important step so that you can heal and move on with the life that you always deserved.Ā  The fact that you understand the words Malignant Narcissistic is crucial here.Ā  We are not talking about a parent that is capable of being remorseful about your childhood and trying to change, we are talking about a parent who blames you every time the relationship isn’t going their way–they resent the loss of control over your life that they always had.Ā Control is not love.Ā It may be time to cut off contact so you can finally heal. Ā You do not owe them anotherĀ ounce of your precious energy.Ā  You owe it to yourself to stay away from them as you heal, because being around them at all always takes a toll on you,Ā  a toll that is much heavier and destructive and stressful and toxic to you than you may realize.

There areĀ a total of 12 tips that I have written about here today, but I am going to stop here and give you the other 6 in my next post in two weeks because this is getting really long.Ā I hope that what I have written has been helpful to you.Ā  I hope that you can enjoy this last week of summer and get out in the warmth of the sunshine–slow downĀ and feel the connection to God’s love that nature provide’s and really take it in. Walks in nature are aĀ great way to recharge your energy.Ā  Your highly sensitive soul and body deserve this special treatment.Ā  It’s never too late to start on the path to the healing you deserve.

With Love,

Roxanne

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