Holiday Help! Tips For Super Self-Compassion and Lavish Self-Love!
Hello Everyone! I’m sending Love and Comfort to everyone who feels emotional pain right now with the holidays approaching. It’s your wounded “inner child” just needing some extra love from …YOU! Take some time to write/journal from your inner child’s perspective—you deserved to be seen and loved and you did not get it!
Now you can give it to yourself! 💞 You are a gifted, sensitive soul! If you need someone to listen and be a witness, hold space for you as you grieve the losses of an unhappy childhood, I can help. Just reach out to truevoicelifecoaching.com. But It is not my intention to sell services right now but to just purely give comfort to those who need it!
Please know you are loved from above and you have a guardian angel sending you insights to help you right this minute. Maybe it is your guide that is inspiring me to share this message so that you will see it! 😇 There is so much hope because LOVE heals and you are pure love that’s still learning how to flow. We all are! You are not alone.
I hope that you will feel free to do what makes your soul feel comforted with no apologies. Having a good cry can do wonders to clear it all out if you haven’t allowed yourself this luxury. Permission granted to release all your despairing feelings that have been held inside. I’m always amazed how much better I feel after a good hard cry! It’s always quicker than I think it will be too! What’s life for anyway if we can’t be REAL, right?!
We all need comfort sometimes and some of us need it more than others. Often the most gifted, creative souls feel the most misunderstood and so can’t find the way to share their gifts with the world. Remember the Beatles song HELP—it’s a universal human necessity to reach out for help. We all need help sometimes.
Comforting and guiding those who are doing their inner child healing work is my purpose—through my songs, through my Reiki, and through my session work with clients. I feel so blessed that through my own healing journey I discovered the joy of helping others find their creative flow and wholeness again.
So I am sending you love and wishing you a Holiday that is rich in self-compassion and comfort!! You deserve it! Along with you favorite select food indulgences, take an extra heaping helping of Lavish Self-Love, and Super Self-Compassion—(I know that you are the opposite of selfish in general as you tend to put everyone else’s needs before your own. It’s time for that people-pleasing to stop and for your own healing to go to the top of your to-do list. No more doing things out of obligation that drain your precious energy). Yes, this message is meant for YOU! ✨😍✨
So in conclusion, I want to tell you that I am thinking of you all and wishing you a Thanksgiving weekend filled with love and all of your favorite things! Think of this blog community as your soul Family who knows and appreciates you best and always will!
Sending heartfelt hugs, lavish love, and warm wishes of caring comfort,
P.S. Oh I just decided to add this. 😁 Here’s my Thanksgiving Song–Original song entitled “I’m Grateful”. I just released this video of my debut “live” performance of this song yesterday. I hope you enjoy it. AND below that I’m also including a video of my son and I singing together on a Christmas song that I wrote–it’s silly (and was recorded 5 years ago) but it comes with my (our 😊) deepest love and blessings to cheer up anyone who needs a boost over the holidays. We both still love to watch it. I hope you do too! (The lyrics to both songs are visible in the description boxes of the videos if you watch them on the YouTube channel–just click the “YouTube” at the bottom of these videos that appears after you press play and it will take you there, then click “show more” under the video to see the lyrics…)
I’d love to hear from you! Please comment below❣️💫🦋💗😃
More Helpful Tips–For Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) With A Narcissistic Parent–Part 1
Hi everyone. As highly sensitive people, many of you are struggling with how to cope with your relationship with your narcissistic parent and your unsupportive siblings and extended family. First of all I want to tell you that as a life coach for people with childhood wounds, I understand your pain and how hard it is. There is very little support in our society for not having a relationship with ones’ parents no matter how negative and destructive they are to you or were to you in your childhood. Many people have difficult parents but they tolerate them and seem to get by okay so why can’t you, right? The pressure is very real. But let me help you understand the difference between you (an HSP) and everyone else with some more helpful tips that are very important for you to know.
1. Know that your greatest gift is your intuition.
As a highly sensitive person (HSP), you were naturally giving and loving and trusting as children. You had high hopes for yourselves and others including your parents. People with loving and supportive parents are more likely living lives full of vitality and creative fulfillment and healthy boundaries to keep negative, manipulative, harmful people at a distance naturally and sharing their unique gifts with others. These people don’t feel guilty about not getting along with everyone–they just “know” there are some people who are unhealthy and dangerous–they pay attention to their natural instincts. But people with a narcissistic parent were taught at a very young age, even from birth not to trust their own instincts, their own intuition. The horrible thing about that is, that was their greatest gift, “their sensitive intuition”, and it was often used against them.
2. Know that you may have repressed a terrible trauma from your childhood–the loss of the knowledge of your gifts.
Possibly, if you had an N parent, then part of your sensitivities were seen as a gift for “them”. They could control you easily because of your trusting nature–so often they used fear to get you to be quiet, anger to get you to obey, and shame to keep you from feeling independent and strong. And it worked. You trusted them and needed them to take care of you and protect you from a world that overwhelmed your sensitive souls so you…experienced a trauma that caused you to shut down your true selves and become what they wanted you to become. Something happened that was “the last straw” for your fragile but wise self that was developing. Typically it happens around age 5 or 6, according to Alice Miller (Author of The Drama of the Gifted Child). After an incident that you can’t remember because you have repressed it, suddenly, you are obedient and sweet wanting only to please. And please them you did. And that is why it is so hard for them to let go of you now. You took care of them. Completely and amazingly. They felt loved by you and validated by you filling a void inside of them that was caused in their childhood. It is as if you were the loving parent that they never had. That is how gifted you were. Those gifts of intuiting the needs of others are still there–they were just misused and abused by your needy and narcissistic parent. Those gifts of being a loving and giving and caretaking soul were mis-directed.
3. Know that your childhood holds the roots of your anxiety, self-doubt, post traumatic stress, and co-dependence issues.
As you grew up and tried to do some of the creative endeavors that were driven by your soul, your parent probably did not support you because they did not want you to leave them or stop taking care of their emotional needs or they just saw no harm in controlling you. As narcissistic parents with no conscience or guilt, it was easy for them to manipulate you, so they did. The pain of your original trauma at the age of 5 or 6 would come up for you each time you tried to express your true self and these outbursts of emotion may have been shamed and punished by your parent and made you give up each time. This is the beginning of the post traumatic stress that still plagues you today. ” Why do I over-react in these explosive ways”, you may have asked yourself. This is why. Your true self and all your repressed feelings and desires from childhood still want badly to be heard and understood and validated and “loved”. Your narcissistic parent was not capable of giving you this love and still is not and never will be. Your love needs are still unmet. You searched for love from others but sometimes, because parts of you are still undeveloped and childlike, you end up being attracted to people who seem wonderful and charming at first but then turn out to be needy and manipulative and unable to comfort you when you need it most–just like your N parent.
4. Know that there is hope and you can heal.
So what is a highly sensitive person with an N parent to do? You can heal and learn to love yourself and slowly unblock all those creative parts of yourself that never got a chance to be expressed. You can learn to trust your self and your gifts of emotional intelligence and intuition that were seemingly robbed from you and misused and abused. You can gain clarity amidst all the confusion, and hope amidst all the despair. You can learn that it is okay for you to say no to other people’s demands and put yourself first. You need to learn about extreme “self- care” (Cheryl Richardson–author of the book Life Makeovers) and you need a journal to pour into all the feelings from your deepest heart. You need support from like-minded, highly sensitive, safe people to share the pain and grief from the loss of a childhood that feels as if it was taken away from you. All your desires and free impulses were repressed so that you could survive with an illusion that your parent’s needs were more important than your own. But surviving was not really living your life. Surviving is not good enough. Your survival skills just cause you trouble because they are not driven by your heart, they are driven by a needy inner child trying to please a parent that felt unpleasable and without remorse about what they did to you.
5. Know that the answers are inside of you and support is available.
You need to take a new direction. A direction into your own soul. You need to excavate the desires of a child who never had a say in the development of his/her own life! Write it out! Talk it out! Cry it out! Shout it out! You can do this in a journal that is meant for your eyes only. Or you can find a counselor or coach who does inner child healing therapy. It’s important to find support somewhere so you can find your true voice and express it. There are HSP meet-up groups in larger cities. You might also look into Unitarian churches or Unity churches to meet people of a spiritual nature who are not necessarily “religious”.
6. Know that no contact with a malignant narcissistic parent is not just recommended so that you can get the time you need to heal, it is vital!
One of the first steps into this new direction of healing for yourself is ending the old song and dance and unhealthy relationship that you have with your narcissistic parent. If you’ve tried everything else and you are still miserable, that means setting boundaries on contact is an important step so that you can heal and move on with the life that you always deserved. The fact that you understand the words Malignant Narcissistic is crucial here. We are not talking about a parent that is capable of being remorseful about your childhood and trying to change, we are talking about a parent who blames you every time the relationship isn’t going their way–they resent the loss of control over your life that they always had. Control is not love. It may be time to cut off contact so you can finally heal. You do not owe them another ounce of your precious energy. You owe it to yourself to stay away from them as you heal, because being around them at all always takes a toll on you, a toll that is much heavier and destructive and stressful and toxic to you than you may realize.
There are a total of 12 tips that I have written about here today, but I am going to stop here and give you the other 6 in my next post in two weeks because this is getting really long. I hope that what I have written has been helpful to you. I hope that you can enjoy this last week of summer and get out in the warmth of the sunshine–slow down and feel the connection to God’s love that nature provide’s and really take it in. Walks in nature are a great way to recharge your energy. Your highly sensitive soul and body deserve this special treatment. It’s never too late to start on the path to the healing you deserve.