Category Archives: forgive yourself

For HSPs–Journaling Tips For Deep Spiritual Healing

By Roxanne on | 2 Comments

Hello Highly Sensitive Souls (HSPs) , Lightworkers, Empaths, Introverts, Earth Angels, and Starseeds,

I hope you are doing well and thriving! Like me you may be striving for balance and healthiness in your life as you acknowledge your sensitivities, are being very gentle with yourself, and healing past traumas. It’s a lot for us sensitives to find balance and feel grounded while at the same time wanting to strive ahead in pursuit of joy and inner peace and our true purpose in life! Then stuff comes up in life to force us to find our inner strength! I am finding mine. I am in a state of transformation. Perhaps you can relate. It’s an extra tough time right now because we also have to shield ourselves from watching the news!–we peek at it at times and sometimes it’s too much and we get knocked off our center. I’ll be sharing some of my practices of how I keep in a healing state. I’ve slowed down the pace of my life and I find I operate so much better in slow gear. Slow gear is great for resting, deep healing, and recovery. This is essential for highly sensitive people (HSPs). And in slow gear you can tune into your own intuitive guidance and feel the support of your guides and angels.

I myself am often in pursuit of comforting guidance and I find that I have a habit of seeking it out from other lightworkers on YouTube and other platforms only to realize I am able to comfort myself best in my journaling and by going within. I discovered that I am looking for “ME”–I am a natural born comforter–it’s part of my true purpose. In those times, I realize that I’ve become disconnected from my true self when I am looking externally for comfort. Within is where the inner peace is. It took me a long time to figure it out but thank goodness I’ve really got it now. Turning to my journal to write or to read it really helps me to find the calm within–my inner nurturer.

Being creative and expressing my voice in my journal is my bridge to healing my past patterns and finding self-compassion. When you learn self-compassion it helps you finally learn how to deeply rest. When you get some deep rest then you are helping heal your foundation (root chakra) so you have a strong base from which to give to yourself and to others. There’s other ways too to find balance–seeking stillness in nature, meditation, and listening to soothing music etc. but I’d like to focus today on the healing power of writing and journaling.

There’s a very unique and personal healing poetry that comes out of me at my most creative times and I’ve shared some of it here on this blog. It is/was never my intention to share it with anyone else besides myself when I start writing it–if I had that intention I could never write it. But I always feel healed by the end and as if I worked through a difficult layer of stuck emotion when I write my poetry. When I first started, I had a great deal of shame come up after I wrote a poem. Then I saw a pattern emerge–the more shame that surfaced to be released, the more healing the poem (or song), and more feedback from others that my poetry helped them too. So the very thing we may feel shame about sharing may actually be part of our true purpose to help others. (See some of my past poems here on this blog on this page: HEALING WRITINGS / POEMS OF HOPE AND HEALING 🙏🏽✍️✨). When in doubt go ahead and share your creative work! You’ve got nothing to lose and you might inspire or help someone else!

As I go through chemotherapy (see my previous post), I have struggled with “chemo brain” and difficulty organizing my thoughts–but now that I am in the last third of the treatment plan I find I feel that I am over the hump and looking forward to healthier times! A spark of creativity is coming back amidst the side effects from the harsh chemicals which is quite a surprise to me. I had been unable to write in this blog all through the mold toxicity and cancer diagnosis. But as I deeply process this “wake up call” to live even more as my authentic self I am feeling stronger than ever. Facing fear of death really forced me to get clarity about exactly who I am and how I want to live. I thought it wouldn’t happen until after chemo was over but it was the intense bone pain from the treatment for 10 days in a row that forced me to get real and find deep answers from within. I found as I was in intense pain I was also hyper focused on being grateful for the times I have had and will have no more pain in my body. I found myself saying, “when this pain finally lifts I am going to do this and this and this!” Clarity! I didn’t despair. I didn’t have fear. I know it’s temporary. A strong inner me came forth!

The reason I chose to go through chemo is to make doubly sure that all remaining abnormal cells in my body don’t come back in the form of cancer. My immune system is taking a hit but I am doing many holistic things to boost my immune system and detox during this process. Pain is a teacher–the severe bone pain I experienced turned out to be a great gift that pushed my higher self forward. As the pain recedes finally I am taking action on the promises I made to myself. I am writing on this blog and writing songs and poetry when I am painfree as a priority with my best energy of the morning. I’m still resting and I’m still taking it slow but it feels so good to express myself now that I have clarity. Yay!

I’m very excited again about the future and my role of being a comfort to other highly sensitive souls trying to navigate our harsh world. I had healed the mold illness by the time I had surgery to remove the ovarian cyst, I will write about how I did that at a later time. So after the surgery I was thrilled when I had my creative mojo back and wrote a song called. “I Don’t Want To Go To Chemo”. Lol! It was fun to write and fun to sing and helped me cope with losing my hair! I look forward to sharing it–It will take some work to be ready to share it so that will have to wait as well. I will write about my chemo experience and what I learned and how I cope at some other later time as too. I believe rest and recovery is even more important for HSPs than for other types of people. People who aren’t highly sensitive are the ones making videos while they are going through trauma–don’t compare yourself to these extroverts or high energy people. If you resonate with my blog then your gifts are probably more subtle and often require a slow gear and recovery time before you can hear your guidance to how to shine your light. Journaling is especially important for HSPs so that we can be listening inward for our guidance that can be more easily discovered through an automatic writing process of being open to hear spiritual messages.

If you are also on a cancer journey I want to share two great resources for lightworkers wanting hope for healing. Anita Moorjani has helped me so much! She is an amazing woman who not only beat end stage cancer after her near death experience but thrives as a beacon of light to teach others what she learned. Her book Dying to Be Me is wonderful as well as her many interviews on YouTube about her experience and her message of healing. l also loved the book Cancer Is a Gift by Lawrence Doochin. It is a great positive read that is safe to read and hopeful unlike many stories and videos and well meaning cancer survivors who tell their horror stories which can induce fear in the listener. Shielding myself from others’ stories of chemotherapy and recurrances is really helping me focus on stay focused on the positive and manifesting a healthy body that is in flow with positive energy. It’s impossible to stay positive all the time but I have learned that if I keep flowing with the feelings as they come up–writing them out or crying them out or hitting a mattress–whatever is needed, then they flow right out of me to be released and I am back to a centered, grounded state again.

It’s not always easy and the important thing is to constantly forgive yourself for every little thing and be kind and very gentle to yourself. You are doing the best you can. My ability to channel and hear my guides and angels comes and goes in this harsh process of chemo, but when I do hear them they consistently remind me to be gentle on myself just when I forget to and start trying too hard to do all the right things. It’s the perfect message to receive at the perfect time. Then I take deep breaths and stop stressing, relax my shoulders, and seek stillness and rest my body and mind. I close my eyes and send white healing light to all my chakras and to certain areas where I may have pain, and I send love and healing light to all of the cells of my body and say, like Louise Hay has taught us, “I am perfectly healthy”. “I am safe.”

I don’t claim to have all the answers. I’ve come to understand that we have planned exit points in our soul plan and our death date is already decided. But I also know that some of us lightworkers may be going through severe illnesses to force us to shine our lights, learn how powerful we are, overcome fear, heal ourselves, and then help others to heal from cancer or other serious ailments with all that we learned in the process. I have many helpers and supports in this journey. I visit psychics and energy healers, and I have heart centered integrative medicine doctors and functional medicine doctors, and naturopathic doctors that I visit as I am guided and trusting my intuition.

I am still in the middle of this healing journey with 2 more chemo treatments to go. But I am thrilled to be having the clarity from my brain fog to write to you all today. I am careful not to say, “oh I have chemo brain” over and over, instead I say “my brain is working perfectly” over and over and now it seems to be trending in that direction. Words we speak to ourselves are powerful. If you haven’t heard of Louise Hay I highly recommend her book “You Can Heal Your LIfe”. I’ve been studying it for over 25 years and I have used it’s methods in my reiki healing practice with clients and now it’s especially coming in handy. So you might be say, why did you get sick with cancer then, if you’ve been this holistic healer for so long? It’s because I moved into a house with hidden mold in the attic and under the showers. It took me 1 and 1/2 years of slowy disappearing and losing my gifts and abilities to reach out to a functional medicine doctor who discovered I had 5 times over the threshold of mold toxicity in my body. Most doctors don’t know about mold illness–this particular doctor had overcome mold illness himself and knew just the tests to give me and which professionals to test my home. Thank you spirit guides and angels for guiding me to him. (There have been so many miracles like that along the way.) I believe that stress of being so ill with the mold toxicity that I couldn’t do the work I loved while at the same time having to lose many treasured belongings and move into a hotel for months while my entire house was remediated and renovated–that required so many difficult decisions when my brain was really struggling from the mold–my stress was through the roof for months.

That’s when the cancer started for me –extreme stress circumstances over months. I wasn’t able to do any of the things that helped me flow and thrive and be happy. Mold illness is worse than having chemo in my experience and my opinion. Until you remove yourself from mold and get the proper treatment plan you will continue to be ill. I was unable to flow or balance my chakras and express myself with creative writing for a very long time. My sacral chakra, the creativity center of the body, was stuck with negative energy–I had stopped being able to write songs and poetry and I lost my true voice and my spark.

In my case I believe that my cancer diagnosis, caught early and treated with both traditional and alternative medicine, healthy diet, and living with purpose and creativity, can be eradicated. I believe the surgery I went through got all of the cancer out. My cancer marker blood test was back to normal even before I started chemo and this helped me stay positive. But even if it was later stage I would have continued to be positive that I can heal it. Don’t let anyone or anything you read allow you to lose hope. If it happens keep coming back to the positive hopeful information. Hope is so important to shift from fear to the healing life force energy of love and light from heaven. I believe we each have the power within us to heal ourselves until it’s our time to return home. It is my hope that this blog post restores your hope for a long a healthy life full of vitality and purpose. Please leave a comment and share your story. It will help others to know they are not alone.

Here’s a very personal private poem that I wrote in my journal during the beginning stages of chemo. After I wrote it I felt so much better and would read it often to comfort myself. I recommend you trying to write this kind of stream of consciousness journaling–it doesn’t have to rhyme. Just be open to listening to your higher self and assist in the self-expression with a pen and paper in hand.

Chemo Poem

This is a predicament

Quite out of my control 

Nausea and bone pain

It really takes a toll

Different than anything

I have been dealt before

Making me stronger?

What is all this for?

Hard to wrap my head around

Experience to help others?

Going through it makes sense

To gain compassion for my brothers

I used to have fear of cancer

And judgement and avoidance 

Now I see it is energy

To make a point to learn this

Life is to be lived in fearlessness

Taking risks with all of our gifts

Helping others with compassion

Giving hope to give a lift

It will help with all the judgement

Of not fitting in

A little too Woo Woo?

No I’m glad to begin

Just gotta be myself

Not care what others think

If I can help one person

And help their fear to shrink

Then that is a wonderful

Future to create

Shine my light and spread the hope

As LOVE accumulates.

Copyright © 2025 Roxanne E. Smith

Sending you all comfort and healing love and light,

Roxanne 💖

Posted in: Automatic Writing, cancer and chemotherapy, forgive yourself, POSTS | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 Helpful Tips and Reminders for Highly Sensitive Survivors of a Narcissistic Abuse

By Roxanne on | 5 Comments

Hi everyone. Finally a new post!  It’s been a wonderful, eventful summer!  It’s been very exciting and my husband and I are so proud watching our children start their new independent lives with confidence, hard work, determination, and exhilaration as they pursue their dreams and desires. It’s an emotional time of bittersweet endings and wonderful new beginnings for all of us.

Although we still have an entire month of summer weather left to enjoy, this time of year always seems like the beginning of a new year because of the new academic school year starting locally and at universities everywhere.  The excitement of buying school supplies and getting new books with new subjects to learn about still affects me in a positive way.  I was able to master my ability to relax and enjoy myself in the summer, my most difficult season, and truly “be in the moment”.

Now I am excited to be returning my focus to my true purpose in life–comforting and encouraging highly sensitive souls (HSPs) with childhood wounds to heal and feel GOOD about themselves. To all of you sensitive souls out there reading this blog, I feel your presence and I understand your struggles and frustrations. Here are some helpful tips and reminders for survivors of an N parent:

1.  Compassion for yourself is always rule #1.  You did a great job surviving a very difficult childhood.  Instead of getting loving support you may have been ridiculed and undermined.  You DESERVED compassion but you did not get it.  You must learn to give it to yourself.  You really can be the ideal mother or father to yourself that you never had.  As survivors, you may often be too hard on yourselves.  If you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, stop everything and be nice to yourself about it.  You have every right to feel stressed and overwhelmed.  Imagine the most loving mother comforting you through it.  What would she say to you?  “Everything is going to be all right.  You have worked so hard and you deserve to rest.  Put your feet up and I’ll get you a warm blanket.  How about some green tea and a warm cup of soup.” 🙂  Put your worries out of your mind–does that task really have to be done today?  No, it does not. It is very important to know that until you have unconditional compassion and love for your self you will not have the energy to give compassion and love freely to others!  Healthy, loving relationships are reciprocal–you must have compassion to give to others if you want to attract people into your life who are truly “giving” in return.

2.  Forgive yourself.  When you have an N parent you were never taught that it’s okay to make mistakes. When you make a mistake, a loving parent would say to you,  “It’s okay, that is how we learn and you learned a lot from this–maybe it is even good that it happened.”  If you had this message growing up, imagine where you’d be today!  You could glide from one mistake to the next without beating yourself up about it, instead you would say to yourself, “that’s okay, I am only human, we all make mistakes and that is how we learn.”  Also forgive yourself for trusting the wrong people.  Because you had an N parent that you trusted for a long time, you may be confused about what a healthy relationship looks and feels like.  It takes time to learn to love yourself and start attracting people who also love themselves and have real love to give.  Forgive yourself about trusting the wrong people along the way, this happening is often a necessary stepping stone on your journey to finding your true selves and honoring all of your feelings.

3. Allow yourself to have some inner confusion at times.  We all have inner confusion at times.  Even Deepok Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, and the wisest psychotherapists on earth have inner confusion at times and this is how we continue to grow and learn.  This is part of the human experience on this planet.  You cannot and must not feel that you have to be on top and have it all figured out all the time!  Your N parent may have made you feel this way probably because you were so very bright and right so much of the time, they felt compelled to knock you down and never gave you credit for your brilliant ideas.  So when you weren’t on top and were naturally feeling confused about some unexplained event in your lives, they probably often took this opportunity to point out to you, “See you aren’t so great, this happened to you and this is proof!  This may have very confusing and painful to you which just further made you harder on yourselves.  You may have said to yourselves, “I must never let people see that I don’t have it all figured out. I must be even more perfect!”  If you can see how unfair this was to you as a child and how you deserved to feel okay about having inner confusion, you will feel much relief and realize you deserve to be… human.  It is so unhealthy trying to be perfect.  You must allow yourself to grieve for the time you spent feeling unworthy of acceptance and that you are not good enough as you are in each given moment.  Sometimes you have inner confusion–it is okay…let it be.  In time, the lesson you were to learn from it will be learned and you will progress again towards expressing your true voice.

4.  Guilt, shame, and doubt are thoughts and feelings from elsewhere to be ignored.  Ignoring your “inner critic” is hard to do because it feels like it’s your “self” telling you these negative messages so you think it must be true.  But these messages and feelings are not from your true self–they are incorrect beliefs from surviving your N parent which you have internalized!  You can learn to recognize them and identify them as your “inner critic” which you must ignore.  It is not the truth!  Your inner critic is WRONG about you.  Most often the exact opposite is true.  When you become conscious of your “inner critic” you can over-ride your thoughts with positive affirmations such as “I love and approve of myself”.  Getting in the habit of catching yourself  when you are unconsciously beating yourself up will change your life!  When you can stop your negative thoughts and know and believe that they aren’t true, your true purpose and compassionate self will begin to emerge. This is not easy and this leads into my next tip.  Sometimes you must get help from a safe person you trust fully to grieve and let out the pain from your abused inner child before you can begin to change these negative beliefs about yourself.

5. Consider reaching out and getting help.  If you are projecting bouts of anger and despair onto your loved ones and are confused about why this is happening, it helps to understand the roots of this confusing pattern. In inner child grief work, this is called “transference” and is a very important and necessary part of the healing process. It is as if you must pull the other person into the drama of the original feelings from childhood so that you can process these feelings and heal them in the present day. Post traumatic stress (PTSD) is the eruption of past unresolved childhood pain into your relationships in the present. If you don’t understand what is happening it can wreak havoc on your present relationships. But if you work this out with a skilled coach or counselor that you fully trust, you can learn to understand your feelings as they come up and you will not need to act on them. You can learn how if you are able to display the out-of-control feelings with this safe person who is able to stay impartial and unaffected and still be compassionate even to angry or blaming projections. Depending on the severity of the abuse and the transference symptoms, look for an experienced and sensitive counselor or coach with knowledge of inner child healing and are humanistic in their approach.  As a coach I can help clients with mild symptoms of post traumatic stress–I have experience with this as I not only worked through my own transference and projections with a therapist but also because my husband and I worked through our projections and transference from our childhoods onto each other to the point of working through most of our co-dependence issues. We were able to do this because of our deep trust in each other and because of my training, my own self-growth which had to happen first, and my knowledge about healthy communication skills, grieving our losses, and what constitutes healthy boundaries. 

 I will be sharing even more helpful healing tips here on my blog in the coming weeks and months.  As a highly sensitive person who survived an N parent, you can learn techniques to love yourself and heal your childhood wounds so that you can have the peace of mind and confidence in yourself that you DESERVE.  I hope that my tips have been comforting to you.  You are a special highly sensitive soul and your healing is necessary so your God-given gifts and true self can be actualized and all your dreams can come true.  You survived a N parent–be kind to yourself!  Now is your time for healing.  I care and I am here for you.

With love,

Roxanne

Posted in: forgive yourself, healthy boundaries, inner child counselor, inner child grief work, inner confusion, inner critic, internalized messages, overcoming self-doubt, POSTS, projecting, PTSD, safe person, TIPS--helpful healing tips | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,