Where Have I Been? Mold Illness and a Cancer Diagnosis
Hello Highly Sensitive Souls, It’s been a long time since I have posted due to quite an amazing rollercoaster ride of ups and downs in my life. I’m 63 now and oh boy now feeling even wiser since I posted here regularly. This blog was started in January 2010. I didn’t realize until later that that was the start of an amazing decade literally on January 1 of that decade. Now I’m seeing the magic in so many serendipitous moments in my life that seem “meant to be”. This is because I feel they prepared me for challenges ahead.
Now my journey as a lightworker helping others with my gifts of high sensitivity, empathic intuition, energy healing, and healing songs has added some new key subjects to what was the main theme here on this blog–which was healing from childhood wounds from a narcissistic parent or traumatic childhood. I believe if you are a highly sensitive soul and your soul chose this very difficult path in your formative years in your current life then you are quite a BADASS powerful old soul with great potential to heal yourself and help others heal too! And now you might be experiencing other challenges in life and possibly feeling Oh Boy I don’t know if I am strong enough. If you resonate with this then you may be in the right place reading here.
I am going through extreme personal challenges at the moment in life and I know that writing with the intention of supporting other highly sensitive souls will be healing for me and others. It boggles my mind as to where to start to share… but I realize I’ve grown a lot over the recent years and my inner voice is strong with self compassion. I hope you that are reading here know that I’ve always said that “Self-compassion is rule number 1” on this blog and it still reigns true. And I trust that I will “know” just what to share as I am always being guided by my spirit team of guides and angels. Remember, you have spirit guides and angels helping you too. Yes, that’s right–it’s true. You must ask for their guidance or they can’t help.
Since 2018 I have been a channel and an intuitive and I communicate with the higher spiritual realms in my journaling almost daily except when my health problems make it difficult to relax enough to connect to receive the heavenly messages. I have come to understand that these health problems I am experiencing are happening for a purpose. These health problems are temporary. These health problems are powerful teachers about energy blockages and transmuting fear and how to regain the flow of positivity and shining the light of our true essence which is pure love. Learning how to stay positive is easier said than done yes! Can we do it? Yes we can!!
Long story short, here is what is going on: The wonderful 6 year old house in Florida that my husband and I bought and moved into in October 2022 had toxic black mold hidden in the attic and HVAC system and under the showers. I had found a beautiful office in town for my energy work and life coaching but I was too ill to go there to work. My husband used it since he could work remotely and I stayed at “home” trying to recover. It took me over 1 1/2 years of having brain fog, chronic fatigue, intestinal problems, and stress intolerance and a host of other weird symptoms until I was guided to a doctor that finally figured it out! 😇🙏 A mycotoxin test revealed I had 5 times the threshold of mold toxicity in my body. This functional medicine doctor said only 25% of people get ill from mold which explained why my husband felt fine and I was incapacitated. So we had the house tested for mycotoxins and, yes, it was proven that black mold was heavily in the air handler and a significant but lesser extent hidden under both showers.
My mold illness was discovered in June of 2024. I moved out and into a hotel in July 2024 per my doctors orders and immediately I started feeling better slowly. By then it had affected my brain so much that I couldn’t park the car straight anymore and my eyesight had got worse to mention just a few things. 1 month turned into 3 1/2 months that I had to live in the hotel while the HVAC and ducts were torn out, showers torn out and the mold remediated and our home retested. Meanwhile everything we owned needed to be wiped off thoroughly with antibacterial wipes and mold spray, and the porous objects including couch and mattresses discarded. Clothing could be washed in hot water with a mold killer additive. We had movers come and move everything we own, except hard wood furniture, into climate controlled storage. A new HVAC system and showers were rebuilt and it took several months.
It was an extremely stressful summer and fall but I had high hopes to recover fully from the mold illness little by little—I was slowly getting my joy back and starting to feel like myself again. But then hurricane Milton in October 2024 halted all work on the house. We evacuated the area and helped my son evacuate and on the wee hours of the first night at the new hotel his beloved cat almost died from a urinary blockage among other stressful things that happened one after the other. My stress level that week was through the roof! Due to the extreme stress of that week a large lump in my abdomen had grown and the following week I could feel it. I got it examined right away by a new integrative doctor I was guided to and had an MRI by thanksgiving and surgery to remove it by Dec. 27. Thank goodness my lovely grown kids were visiting for Christmas at that time and were so helpful and supportive.
I awoke from surgery grateful to have the 7 inch diameter ovarian cyst (16cm) removed successfully that had been putting pressure on my kidneys. The good news was the oncologist surgeon got it all!—They found cancer in the cyst and it was caught early. It had not spread except a tiny bit to the peritoneum but the surgeon got that out too! But because it had spread at all it was called Ovarian Cancer Stage 2 B. The focus was on how fortunate I was and this gratefulness carried me through the painful recovery of a complete hysterectomy and a 7 inch vertical scar from the laparotomy. The oncologist surgeon recommended chemotherapy every 3 weeks for 6 times so that it never comes back. Stunned but grateful I knew, yes I’m gonna do that. I stayed positive just like I did throughout finding the lump—I had felt strongly it was benign and stayed fearless as I waited for surgery. I have felt comfort, guidance, and protection from my guides and angels each step of the way. It’s been quite a shock to process that I have a cancer diagnosis. I never dreamed with my holistic mindfulness and healthy healing habits that this could happen to me. I feel strongly that the surgery got all of the cancer. I am not allowing fear to feed any remaining abnormal cells in my body. My new doctor agrees and it turns out he is spiritually like-minded–I am grateful to be in great hands.
I truly believe if it weren’t for the stress of the toxic black mold situation I would not have this cancer diagnosis. I’m actually feeling very blessed that the extra sudden stress then caused it to grow large enough quickly for me to notice and take action to get it removed. What a blessing! It could have stayed hidden and slowly spread. But it didn’t. And then it stayed the same size from Oct until Dec 27 when it was removed. Little miracles are keeping me in a high vibe of positivity.
Over the summer while in the hotel I had sauna treatments and took binder supplements that removed the mold toxins and I have felt better now than since we moved here. My ability to think and sing and write songs started coming back in November and now I have my happiness back and the dreadful mold illness is behind me! The toxic mold stole my joy and creative desires and energy healing abilities–it was like my true essence was slowly disappearing. Luckily our house and my hotel near our home were not damaged in the hurricane. The workers continued the mold remediation and renovation immediately after the hurricane. I was blessed to find someone I trusted to wipe down the walls, ceilings and floors of our home. I could finally move back home after we retested to make sure the mold levels were safe.
Yes I was shocked at this cancer diagnosis but I feel so hopeful because the stress of the mold issue is now gone, the house is now a mold free sanctuary, and the showers are beautiful—finished on November 21st. I’m in a great place now to be healing completely, with a great support system, and looking forward to getting back to my work helping others. There is so much fear about cancer in the world and I believe that this fear really does make cancer worse. What I do is I acknowledge the fear and then shift it to the belief in hope and being cancer free.
The thing about the work that I do is understanding that everything is energy and getting positive energy flowing in the body is important for optimum healing. Mold made it impossible for me to flow positively in my sacral chakra (which is the center for creativity!) but now my energy is flowing positively daily. I’m working with an integrative doctor who happens to be an alternative cancer specialist who is helping me to detox the chemicals from the traditional route of chemotherapy. I didn’t know he was a cancer specialist when I first went to him–how amazing is that! So I’m doing both routes of treatment–holistic and traditional. So please know things are very hopeful for me! If you are experiencing a cancer diagnosis or mold illness worries I welcome your comments–through sharing our journeys we can help each other and others. I’m sending all of you warm healing wishes of love and light, comfort, and freedom from fear. Love is the opposite of fear and you are so loved by the Universe/God and your guides and angels. I’m here to help you get the messages of HOPE. I hope that by sharing my story I can help others to have hope. There are so many details that I glossed over in order to make this post a reasonable length. I welcome any questions so that I can clarify or help. Thank you for reading and I’ll be posting again when I can throughout my chemotherapy journey ahead to living cancer free. Welcome to our community that is a safe haven of hope and healing for highly sensitive souls.
Peace and Love,
Roxanne 💖
As You Imagine Angels Do – An Emotional Healing Poem For Sensitive Souls
Hello Everyone,
I felt drawn to share this poem with you today. I had forgotten about it and I came upon it today and felt like possibly someone out there might appreciate some hopeful, uplifting words channeled from spirit and co-created with my higher self.
Right now on the planet there is powerful, complex emotional healing and inner child grief work going on with us sensitive souls. It’s all to clear out the old so that we can level up to be more of our true selves. Give yourself permission to rest deeply and be very kind to yourself. You are sensitive for a good reason and you are stronger now to heal these new feelings of clarity coming up. You are awesome and amazing! You can do it!
For more support I’m available for Spiritual Counseling/Coaching/Reiki Sessions. Just reach out! (Email me at Hopesinger11@gmail.com – website www.EmpathicSoulHeal.com ).
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you with big hugs 💞 and big love 💖!
Sending you comfort and healing light,
Roxanne 😇💝✨
===================================
As You Imagine Angels Do
By Roxanne E. Smith
Pain so deep inside my heart. No-one to lean on to help in part
Always thought I was due this love— A partnership gift from above
But now I see we’re all alone—on earth (but not in heaven-home)
In heaven we are all of one and love abounds and bliss a ton
But here on earth as I grow strong, more pain and truth keep coming along
And I get new clear eyes to see that loving myself is the remedy
Meanwhile terror hurts like hell. I long to meld inside someone else
But no I must stand alone, on my brand new legs and wings now known
They are there just wobbly yet. They are ready but I forget
The pain rears up and I retreat instead of bearing on my feet
This I’m learning ever slow. I comfort pain with angel glow
They do love me and child within. All is hugs and smiles and grins
I forget this love inside. It was there in the worst of times
I didn’t know it but now I do. Breathe and rest and center anew
Comfort the motherless child, now free to be herself so wild
And shining brightly to give hope, to others she extends a rope
A hand to hold, a shoulder too of songs and words: “I’ve been there too!”
And you are gonna be okay—it hurts a lot to be here today
I really deeply understand, with kind eyes and a helping hand
Mean eyes hurt me as a child. I extend forgiveness and eyes of mild
Heart stay soft and don’t get hard. Rage just causes exhaustion-guard
Relax and trust that life is good. That all is well and as it should
You are going to make it through. Step by step you heal anew
Surprising gifts you never knew, will unfold right in front of you
And you will build a brand new home that you can count on as you roam
And tread carefully around the traps, and triggers that have you under wraps
But these are lessons to help you love …yourself and reach for help above
And see your great divinity so you can feel serenity
And these poems they are all for you, to read them when you’re feeling blue
Because angels helped to write them yes, so you can heal and share your success
That happened when you went within and wrote your feelings out with pen
And others have this gift inside, but they never knew to give it a try
Automatic writing yes, it’s wonderful to help distress
You show up and then get out of the way and let the angels have their say
(And it doesn’t have to rhyme …but Roxanne she does that all the time
For rhyming songs it is her gift, so poems come out for her in a jif)
And others too can write anytime, as they learn to trust the hope divine
And they’ll get answers when they ask …questions from their soul unmasked
Private writing not to share, but hopeful words for their own ware
that comes out as a great surprise—they become wiser before their eyes
if they go back and read their words, their soul will see and get the urge
to keep on writing words of hope and this will grow and help you cope
Your writing then becomes your friend, who will stick by you through thick and thin
And you’ll feel great each time you write, with intent to express your highest flight
Tap into love that’s being sent and allow yourself to circumvent
Any obstacle that comes in pain, deserves comfort and never shame
Shower words of love on you, As You Imagine Angels Do
They really do so it’s no lie—just ask for help and let out a cry
They respond with so much love but you must ask or they can’t budge
Because freewill keeps them at bay—with your intent invite them to stay
You will see changes in your days—little signs and easier ways
Raising to these high vibrations, you attract more elations
So you see I think you understand, writing will help you transcend
Pain can lead to deeper thought and joy is underneath a lot
Because the truth is we are love—here to help and rise above
You are loved and angels mend. They wrote this poem with me. The End.
Original Poem © 2019 Roxanne E. Smith
A New Channeled Angel Message–For Awakening Souls Healing Wounds from Childhood or PTSD.
(These messages are to be shared for all who resonate and are open to receiving spiritual guidance. This includes Empaths, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), Lightworkers, Spiritually Awakening Souls, Earth Angels, and to all Seekers and Open-hearted souls.
Hello Everyone, I have another channeled angel message for you–a message of Hope From the 12th Dimension!–the Angelic Realm. Before I channeled this message I checked in with each of the Archangels to confirm their presence. This group consciousness angel message is from Archangel (AA) Muriel and 7 other angels who join in for the messages. The 8 Archangels are: Archangel (AA) Muriel (the AA of Empaths), AA Chamuel (Comfort), AA Jophiel (Creativity and Beauty), AA Sandalphon (Grounding and Music), AA Azriel (Supporting Grief, Loss and Transitions), AA Raziel (Divine Magic and Alchemy), AA Uriel (Wisdom), and AA Ariel, (Nature and Animals).
This message will be added my Channeled Angel Messages Page on my blog which has posts of angel messages that I am now posting there weekly or bi-weekly. There you will find all the other messages from the 6 or more Archangel Guides that I have posted since November, 2018.)
Here is the latest message!:
“Dear Ones, We send you so much love and light to cheer you. You may be feeling weary yet again and you are tired of it. Yes, we see and know you are feeling much pain as it comes up to be healed. You may feel abandoned and betrayed by life at times but other times you feel the spark and strength inside your soul that is growing in strength. There is an excitement building as you see that you are stronger than you knew yourself to be and you like what you are seeing.
Sometimes you can’t see it and feel stuck in density and the negative soup of other’s energies. You are seeing tools to rise up and out of your triggered states that do not last very long compared to before. Please give yourselves credit for this. You may think you are going backwards because you are feeling triggered more frequently but you could not have handled these stresses in the past near as well. Look at them as opportunities to heal deep scars that have been dormant until now.
You also are aware that things in your life could be much worse and you know that being grateful shifts you to a state where you can write and meditate and tap into pure love and the angelic realm. This opens the door to your most creative state of co-creating with your higher self and downloading helpful information and insights to guide you to your next steps in life. You know that after you ask a question to the highest guides meant for you, it is best to then pull back and be open for the answers rather than try hard to hear. This takes some time to master and trying auto writing is a good bridge to get to where you feel you are channeling information clearly. It doesn’t matter if you can hear us and your guides directly but the fact that you believe and know what our unconditional love feels like and that you deserve it and it recharges you and refreshes you to hear these messages then that is a wonderful thing.
Keep allowing the love in and knowing it is for you, Dear Ones, who resonate with these messages. Because you are here on the planet to learn to tap into your shining light of goodness and light and know it helps others when you share positive, loving energy. You know you forget how to get into a high vibration sometimes and this is okay because it is just like exercising a muscle, it will get stronger if this is a consistent and even daily tool that you use to cheer yourself up if you ever feel knocked down.
We send you so much love and hugs. You may feel our presence when you have endearing memories pop up of when you helped others or your children or co-workers just by listening and having compassion for their feelings. This is a gift you have that can be overlooked by others as you seem to meld into whoever you are around if you are not consciously creating a mental boundary and shining your light.
Forgive yourself for not always being the strong shining one overtly. People always feel better in your presence even when they actually seem grouchier and may even poke at you unknowingly with insensitive words. You may feel worse after such encounters but realize you have just exchanged energy with the person and they feel better about themselves. This is subtle and many people are not aware. We are only telling you this so that you will be kinder to yourself and release the energy of others and bounce back to your shiny selves when you are alone in your own energies again.
You may find you are getting even more sensitive as your light bodies undergo the transformation of ascension that all awakening souls are going through. Sometimes you feel lonely and other times you feel whole and complete with much to give. This back and forth is a spiral and you are right on track. All light workers and empaths who are awakened to their spirituality are going through this as well and you are not alone. Reach out for support or to groups if you feel guided but please be discerning about any guidance from others because all souls are complex and other’s experience may not be as high a vibration as the angelic realm information that resonate with your extremely sensitive empathic soul. When it is comforting and loving, nurturing, and soothing and allows you to trust in your own guidance then it is a good fit for you.
You are learning to trust this good feeling of self-compassion and we are so proud of you.
We leave you now with hugs and this image of “Love Doves”
in honor of Valentines Day this past month and such holidays of love around the world at this time of year. We send you a giant Valentine Heart that says Be Mine! Lol!
It is good and fun to embrace these positive human traditions if they make you feel good and full of childlike wonder, comfort, and a sense of belonging—Please imagine that we Archangels are all one giant valentine heart of Pure Love and Bliss shining down on you✨💖✨ and we wish you the experience of feeling the LOVE from us all, your soul family. Until next time, AA Muriel, Chamuel, Jophiel, Sandalphon, Azriel, Ariel, Raziel, and Uriel.
I hope you enjoyed this message!
Peace and Love,
Roxanne ✌️😇💖✨
Comfort From Above–A Channeled Angel Message
Hello everyone! Here is my very first long Channeled Angel Message.
Channeled Angel Message 1-12-19
“Dear Ones, You are so loved. If you only knew the brilliance of your own light—the perfection of your being. Your soul has a purpose that may be unknown to you at this time but if you take the time to listen to your heart and write out your soul’s desire, you will begin to know yourself. As you love, nurture, and comfort yourself you will heal those deep layers of pain that are keeping you from stepping into your wholeness and vitality to be all that you can be.
We are with you, Dear Ones, shining light and comfort down on you on those times you feel most alone and afraid. If you can believe in love from above and open to receive our comfort it will help you so much. As light workers you chose to come onto earth at this time as co-creators with us the Angels who are always hovering near you. Your compassionate ways may seem unappreciated by those around you but if you can remember and write and share with others who are open to such spiritual messages, you’ll be spreading hope in ways you can’t imagine.
No-one else is exactly like you but many, who are on similar journeys and just beginning, will so benefit from your wisdom. Keep writing. Keep creating from the joy in your heart and share it with others without fear. The fear of persecution from others is old and we reassure you that the benefits will far exceed any backlash you receive. If you are afraid to be different well, My Dear, you already are and it is what it is for a good reason. Goodness and light exudes from you in a way that affects others in a positive way whether it’s positive feelings being around you or pushing their repressed pain up to the light in an explosive way. This is not for you to decipher or feel responsible for but just know healing is happening.
If you get negative energy back from anyone know it is not about you and it is just a projection of this inner unconscious unlooked-that world. All pain needs to be looked at in order to heal and be released. This is a role that is not for the faint of heart. You are not faint of heart. You are all heart and you are strong enough for this role. By changing the way you view criticisms of you, you can change your life. Criticisms of you are actually criticisms of the person criticizing you—their own self-judgments projected outward.
How to handle this? Smile with your inner knowing of the real truth. Either walk away or show them compassion if you are in a strong place. Let the negativity flow through you and not stick. Transmute it into Mother Earth or up to Heaven it doesn’t matter keep the energy moving flowing and healed and dissolved by love.
Shining your light really is healing. Perhaps you’ve encountered people drawn to you lately and even asking for a hug from you while others seem to treat you as if you are invisible. They actually make themselves invisible from their own true essence—a true and complete disconnect and so you are feeling their invisibility and self-loathing. Know it’s not yours. The work of knowing the voice of your inner critic is so helpful. Yes, you know this.
But you didn’t know your inner critic is alive in you because you absorbed the inner critic of those around you in your foundational childhood years and you internalized it and believed it. Now you know better. You can give yourself the love you never received and deserved. Yes every child deserves love and care and to be uplifted to see their gifts and potential. You can re-frame, re-program, re-parent, and re-live the childhood you never had—Regain the childlike trust you missed out on. Live now with more childlike exuberance, joy, and curiosity and express yourself without fear.
Know your childlike exuberance is much needed on the planet as you express it without fear of ridicule and shame. Yes, you may have been shamed for shining your light as a child but now you see their fear, their shame that they felt safe to put on you. Only because of your light, My Dear Earthbound Angels, only because of your light.
Archangel Muriel here,
sending you hugs and love and comfort so deep you feel it down to your toes.
We angels are just a thought away
Just open to us and get out of the way
To receive our message especially for you
So you can heal and heal others too.
Until we meet again,
Muriel”
If you are interested in scheduling private sessions for Akashic Record Readings, or Angel Readings, Distance Reiki or Life Coaching sessions please email me at Hopesinger11@gmail.com.
(This post previously contained a video of the channeled angel message which has since been deleted as a new platform for the videos is in the making.)
With love and light,
Roxanne 😇
Hope and Healing Haven 
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